[Noh's Point Of View]

As I walk around the store, I allow the thought of Phun come back to me. Despite my exhaustion and my annoyance, I had to admit that joining my mother for her fashion walk had cleared my mind. Phun had not crossed my mind for the past hour and even though I had been glad, time was up and Phun was coming back to me like a tsunami, drowning everything else in my mind. 

Unconsciously, i bring my phone out of my pocket and stare at it longingly, hoping that if I stared enough, a message would pop up soon but... nothing. No messages, no calls, no nothing. This like expected, raised a thousand questions and along them, a enormous anxiety. Was he doing so good that he didn't want to talk to me? Was he realizing that he didn't need me and that he wanted me out of his life? Or had something happened and he wanted to be alone? All I wanted at this moment was to text him, to see if he was doing okay, but a voice inside my head kept speaking to me. This is something he has to do on his own. That's what you agreed, after all. 

"Noh? Is that you?" Suddenly, a soft voice fills my ears and brings me back from my course of thoughts. I turn around to face the owner, finding a beautiful face that I had not seen in a long, long time. Her bright round eyes are staring at me with curious excitement, her black hair falling in ribbons at her shoulders. At first glance, you would think that she hasn't changed but if you take a closer look, you would notice a small round belly invading what used to be a slender figure. 

I stare at her dumbfounded, not knowing what to say after all of this time. A thousand memories flood my mind instantly, replacing my previous thoughts of Phun. All that guilt I felt before, all that pain, all that shameful jealousy come back rushing to me. When I finally recover my voice, I stutter her name, feeling awkward, "A-aim..."

From all of the reactions I had expected, the one she's wearing now wasn't one of them. "I knew I was right! As soon as I saw you, I knew it was you! It's been so long... How have you been?" She booms excitedly as she stumbles her way towards me. As she narrows the gap between us, all I can do is mutter an awkward, "Good."

She smiles widely and stares at me as if waiting for me to say something else, but I don't know what else to say. I still can't believe that she's standing in front of me and that she's glad to see me. The seconds are passing us by and accepting that the silence is only making the awkwardness worse, I mutter whatever comes to mind, "I thought you were living in Europe. That's what Yuri had told me."

This statement was true. One day, as we were out on a double date, Yuri had told us that she had received a letter from Aim. In  the letter, the latter apologized for everything she had done, and let her know that she was welcomed to visit her in Europe whenever she pleased. 

"Oh, that's right! I'm living in Europe with my husband. I just came to visit. I've been staying here for quite a while." She tells me joyfully, as if we were old friends. Although we had never been friends, I decided to play along, "Oh, you got married?"

"Yeah! I'm married and with two kids!" Two kids?! Are they from the same father? I think mentally, not having the guts to ask her. "And yeah, they are from the same father if you're wondering." She tells me with a solemn smile. There's no sort of malice in her comment and for some reason, I feel bad for even thinking about her like this. If she was being mature enough to talk to me, she had grown up and left her past habits in the past. I had to grow up too and leave the resentment behind as well. 

"What about you? Are you still with Yuri or..." She dwells on her words, wondering if it's okay to step over the line that it's Phun. Without hesitation, I respond, "Oh no.. I'm with Phun." For some reason, stating this makes me feel proud of my relationship with Phun. After all this time, after every obstacle that we had come across, we were still standing and that made me feel a sudden warmth embrace me. 

At hearing my answer, she gives me an honest yet somber smile, "I'm glad things worked out for the two of you in the end. He deserved to be happy, you know. He was a very good guy. It's bad that I didn't know how to appreciate that and hurt him." So after all, you do know what you lost. For some reason, memories come back to me and I feel a bit of the anger I felt towards her come back. I form a fist with my hand, forcing myself to remain quiet and listen to the rest of her words. 

Letting out a sigh, she raises her face to look at me and continues, "But well, it's good that he found you. Although I didn't want to admit it back then, I think you're good for him. You're always so cheerful and friendly, unlike me. More than that, you're also honest and I know that you won't hurt him. For that reason, I feel at ease as I know that you will take care of him better than I ever could."

Upon hearing this, I feel the anger subside and be replaced by ease. "You bet your I will!" I tell her jokingly, feeling more relaxed before her. We both laugh for a little while, before my eyes inevitably land on her round belly. When she notices me wondering, she answers what I've been meaning to ask, "I'm 5 months pregnant. It's going to be a boy. I'll be staying in Bangkok until I deliver him." She tells me as she fondly pats her belly. "You can touch it, don't be shy!" She tells me as she grabs my hand boldly and puts it against her round belly. Although I feel slightly awkward to be doing this with who used to be my rival, I have to admit that deep inside, there's a fuzzy feeling filling me as I realize that all the people I used to know, even those who I've hurt and been hurt because of, are now living happy lives.

What about Phun and I? Are we going to have happy endings too?

[Phun's Point Of View]

Contrary to a moment ago, when the pace of things felt overwhelmingly fast, time lies frozen now that the three of us are together. And although this is the first time we get to be together in the past two years, this is not a warm reunion and deep inside, I know that it won't be. There's not going to be loving embraces; only awkward stares and a piercing cold silence. The atmosphere is tense, more now that my father is present, and for a moment, I'm caught wishing to dial Noh's number. I longed for his voice. I needed him to reassure me that everything was going to be okay. It'll be alright. Everything will be alright. I recall Noh's voice in my mind from this morning, and try to grab some hope from it. Everything will be alright. I repeat to myself, trying to not lose hope, but deep inside, I know the truth. Despite my desire for things to work out, I know that things won't go down the easy road. I could feel it under my skin, and the anguish consumed me. 

I nervously pick up my cup of green tea, which had been re-filled by my father's command, with my trembling hands and take a long sip. I let the bitter liquid rest in my mouth for a moment, willing it to take my mind off things, before letting it flow down my throat. I repeat the same process once again but this time, I take a frightened glimpse at my father's face from beneath the cup, trying to find a sign of emotion in it that could encourage me to talk. There was nothing. His expression was unreadable. He could be happy, he could be displeased, he could even be bored to death and I wouldn't know. That was one of the characteristics that made my father. His ability to pull the most unreadable expressions, as if he was a statue, lifeless and emotionless. Unlike me, whose emotiones were always plainly drawn on the face.

"So tell me, what have you been doing the past two years?" The silence is abruptly interrupted by my father's stern voice. His voice breaks through the silence and enters my ears so suddenly, that I almost end up spilling my cup of tea. With shaky hands, I manage to set down the cup on the table and taking a gulp of air, I raise my eyes to look at my father. I open my mouth slowly to respond, but my mind is blank and for a moment, I wonder what was what he asked again. 

When he realizes my tardiness, he lets a wry sigh and repeats, "I meant, what are you doing with your life as of now? Are you working? Studying? You had a scholarship, didn't you?"

"I do," I respond boldly, feeling a sudden burst of confidence. If there's something that you couldn't take away from me, father, it was my brains and good looks.

"I'm still studying at the same university that I was at that time. I'll be majoring in neurology in two years. It might be sooner than that though, or so my teacher said. I'm also working part time at a coffee shop near my home." I speak with a respectful tone and yet, I can hear some smugness underneath it, as if I unconsciously was trying to prove something. See, I'm doing fine without you. I don't need anybody but Noh, to be satisfied.

I'm completely satisfied with my life as it is, without you. I repeat mentally, even though I know it's a lie. I had all the things I used to desire. A home -It was a single bedroom apartment in a poor neighborhood but it was still home nevertheless. A family, even though it wasn't my own, they were more than what I could ask. A bright future, full of dreams and love. And especially, above them all, I had Noh. And that's what really mattered, that I had him by my side at the end of the day. 

But, just like any other human, I was slefish and craved what I once had. 

If I was honest, I couldn't even make up my mind. One side of me wanted ot run away from this moment, without knowing the answer I would receive later but on the other hand, there was that side that held helplessly to hope. What if.. Just what if.. Even though it most likely won't happen.. But what if, things miraculously worked, and I could come back to my family.. This time, however, things wouldn't be the same.. This time, it wouldn't just be me.. It would be the two of us.. Noh and I..

"I'm glad to hear that." I heard him say as he elegantly took a sip from his cup before setting it back on the table. "I'm glad that at least your intelligence hasn't gone to waste... completely, that is." Although his expression remained unchanged, I could feel the mockery in his words. A sting crossed my heart and I bit my lip to hold me from expressing my displease. No, I couldn't explode yet. This had barely began and I had to win this fight. If someone was to raise his voice, it wasn't going to be me. At least not yet.

Not knowing what to say to conceal my true feelings, I turned ot give my mother, who had remained quiet till now, a look. I was surprised to see that she looked even more uncomfortable, if that was even possible, than me. Holding the cup of tea with trembling hands, she threw troubled glances at the two of us. Her concern was so obvious that I wanted to reach out to hold her hand, to assure her in some way -even though I was the one that supposedly needed reassurance right now- that everything was okay but kept my hands glued to my sides. 

"That, however, wouldn't do you much help if they know that you.." He was beginning but dropped the sentence before finishing as soon as he saw my daring expression. Come on, say it. I know you are dying to rub it at my face, the reason of your disgust towards me. This time, however, I won't stay quiet.

My mother shuffled awkwardly in her seat and took a big gulp of the green tea. I felt like doing that too -Just drink that horrendous tea and forget all of this for a second- but I didn;t want to seem wavering. I wanted to seem strong and fearless.

There was a short moment of silence before the man in front of me decided to open his mouth again, "I have been meaning to ask you this, Phun... You aren't still dating that.." Once again, he left his sentence unfinished, but I didn't need to hear the rest. In my mind, I was beginning to understand what really was going on. He hadn't agreed to seeing the real me. He didn't know the real me, right now. Everything had been a stupid plan to get us together. A stupid plan done by.. I turned to give my mother a glare just in time as she was letting out a panicked gasp.

"If by "that" you mean Noh, yes I am. We are currently happily living together, as a matter of fact. Right, Mother?" I took the effort to drag the word "happily" to prove my point before turning to raise an eyebrow at my mom, who looked pale as a ghost.

"Wait, you knew about this?! Didn't you say that they were over?!" My father turned towards my frightened mother, his voice finally showing some sign of emotion. Anger and betrayal. As if he honestly felt the right to feel offended while I was seating in front of him. 

"Mind explain this, mother?" I turned to look at my mother, my voice cold and void, but deep inside, I was begging her to tell me that this wasn't what I thought it was. This wasn't some stupid plan gone wrong like those from those melodramatic lakorns that Noh's mother loves to watch. Please tell me that it isn't.. Please..

We stared at my mother, as she looked from one of us to the other, gathering her words. Every second she took, my father and I grew more impatient. "I can't believe I fell for this bull.." I heard my father say angrily, as he massaged his temples. I wanted to run away. I wanted to silently stand up and run away. I wanted to cry and forget that this day ever happened. Why were things going downhill? Why was everything so complicated? Why were people so complex? So full of hatred towards those who they didn't understand and so full of selfishness? Why did things always have to be white or black? Why couldn't they be gray? Or rainbow color for all that matters? These questions went through my mind as I stared at my mother, emotionless. 

Suddenly, I was void of feelings. I felt drained and empty, as if this had been the final blow. I didn't need to hear anything anymore. I knew that just like I had expected the moment my father had appeared, I would be losing. Like I always am. No, you're not always losing. You have Noh and he is the biggest achievement. Love is the biggest achievement, don't forget that. I felt my emotions return to me once I remembered this small miracle. This small miracle called Noh. 

Finally, she dropped her head and muttered a silent, "I'm sorry."

I looked at her and saw a face that reflected my inner emotions. It was a teary face, full of sadness and frustration. As I stared at her, I felt all my sudden resentment turn to dust and an overwhelming need to embrace her. More overwhelming than that need, was the need to be embraced and to cry. Why were people so complex? So full of hatred towards those who they didn't understand and so full of selfishness? I needed someone to answer those questions. 

"I'm so sorry." She looked straight at me, ignoring my father's furious expression. "I wanted to get you two to meet. I hoped that you would work things out. I'm so sorry. I didn't think it would turn out like this. I hoped that your father would see clear if he saw you again. I guess I overestimated him." I didn't forget to catch the angry stare she sent my father before he stood up and left the room without another word. 

I stood there, feeling a mix of sadness and frustration. Things had gone just as I had expected and yet, why was it hurting so much? The fact that it was hurting me this much was frustrating. If you already knew the ending of this story, why are you still hurting? Because you had silently hoped for a different ending, you moron. I was urged to cry, to let everything out, and yet, why was I just seating here emotionless? Why aren't you crying like the weakling you really are? Phun, you are really a cry baby, you know. I hear Noh's mockery in my head and feel my heart sting even more. Noh, if you even knew..

Two arms suddenly wrap me in a warm embrace, and I know who they belong to right away. Now that the resentment is gone and that I hold none towards my mother, I allow myself to melt into that pair of arms, savoring the comfort they are providing me with. "I'm so sorry, Phun. Please forgive me.." I hear her mutter at the top of my head as I rest silently on her chest, "I'm so sorry.. Please don't lose hope.. Please give him some time.. Please.."

Even though I know that there was no hope left, I simply hum in approval. 

[Authors notes]

Guess who's back after a month and a half?! That's right! Me! Hahaha. I'm so sorry for late update. I know I promised this update long ago. And I had Noh's point of view written since uff, but I needed to finish Phun's and that took me long because I couldn't find the inspiration and privacy to get myself to work on it. Some of you might already know this but, my sister moved in with us and she's currently sharing room with me, which is stupid because I mean, there's another room she can use, but she hates the bed and likes my bed lol so she is sleeping in my room all these time and she snores LMAO Thankfully she doesnt really mind me and I can continue about my night ignoring her. She is a heavy sleeper. Like she doesn't mind music or anything, she sleeps like a bear in invernation. But yeah, I kinda feel weird to be writing this in front of her lol so I hadn't been able to until a few days ago I was like it, and here I am hwahahah. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter which I'm guessing was not the happy reunion you were hoping for but well, that would come in another occasion. ANYWAYS, please COMMENT and SUBSCRIBE hehe

HASTA LA VISTA BABY