[Noh's Point Of View]

When I return to the rectangular room that it's the living room, I find it vacant. The two sunken spots that lie on top of the couch rely to me that those who had been here left no long ago. I carefully seat on the space I've had previously occupied and stare logingly at the sunken spot beside me, where Phun had been seating moments ago with a bright smile decorating his face, and sigh. That smile was probably gone now and it was all because of me. I should've been honest with him and told him the truth -that his mother was the one behind the call- instead of keeping it from him. The day he agreed to talk to his father, he had made me promise him to tell him everything concerning his parents. I had agreed willingly. His parents were more of his business than they were of mine. He deserved to know if they contacted me. And yet, I still went on and lied to him, showing him such distrust. 

Deep down I knew why I had acted like that; fear. I was afraid of the way he would react, of how his expression would change if I told him that his mother was reaching for me behind his back.I was also scared of seeing his dark side again. That untamed, aggressive, illogical side of his, that makes the blood in me rush and my hands grow cold. I thought I knew him better though, to tell that he wouldn't behave like that, at least not in front of his friend. I should've trusted him with at least that much. And I needn't to be this scared, really. It's not like Phun had tried anything to hurt me, physically nor emotionally, in the past. I should've trusted him, just like I've always done. I knew that he only cared about my happiness and well-being and that he had a reason for everything he did, even when he was at his worse. Then why didn't I do that? Why didn't I trust him instead of constructing this wall between us? 

Suddenly, a door slams shut and brings me back from my course of thoughts. I see a figure from the corner of my eyes whirl as it turns around to lock the door as it usually does at this hour of the night. He was in charge of keeping us safely and had done a great job protecting us from intruders. Once the doorknob makes a click sound, I hear footsteps approaching and feel the couch sink as someone seats beside me. I don't have to turn around to know that the shadow that seats beside mine belongs to Phun. 

Feeling nervous and fidgety, I keep my eyes cast low. A small movement catches my attention and I dart my eyes to realize that Captain had been in the room with me all this time. He is currently sleeping soundlessly and his tail is hanging loosely from the opposite couch. His innocent kitten features remind me of the day we retrieved him from the shelter, giving me courage to look at the person beside me. 

"Did you say goodbye to Kai in my stead?" I finally ask him as I meet his piercing eyes whose expression I can't decipher. "Yup." He answers briefly as he raises the remote to change the channel.

Not knowing what else to say, I turn to look at the screen and decide to concentrate on the program that it's broadcasting. It's a game show. Whoever answers the most questions in less time wins a brand new car. This is one of my favorite shows and I should entertain myself with it, but some part of my mind isn't allowing me to engage myself in it. The air I'm breathing feels so thick that I have to breathe through my mouth to not suffocate. The distance between us makes me feel cold and lonely, even when he is right beside me. I have to get him back, otherwise I know I won't be able to sleep tonight.

"So, did your team win?" I ask him out of the blue, making him look at me baffled. "The football game, I mean?" I continue and the corner of his lip quirks upward as he contains a smile.

"Yup! Three against two!" He responds in a brighter tone of voice. "You should've seen it, man! His team almost goaled at the last minute! I was so afraid of losing my money! Thankfully, one of my team's players saved it and goaled just before the game ended!" He narrates with enthusiasm, reviving the scene in his mind and my body begins to relax slightly.

"Did you get the money out of him in the end?" I ask curiously and watch as he turns his wait to retrieve something from his pocket. "Fifty bucks!" He beams proudly as he shows off the rectangular papers in his hands."Oh, lucky bastard!" I joke as I bump my arm against his slightly. "I know right!" He smiles as he looks at the dollars in his hands thoughtfully.

I watch him for a second before returning to the screen with a quieter mind. I can now partially concentrate in the game show. The man who questions the participants is currently reading the question from a small card. "What is the capital of Spain?" The people in the rows observe in silence as the contestants try their best to come up with an answer. It's easy, I think to myelf. The capital of spain is Madrid. One of the participants presses the red button and begins to speak, but as he does so, Phun's voice catches my attention, "Here."

I look towards him and meet with his hand as he pushes the dollars in front of my face. "Hmm?" I look at him, puzzled. 

"You take it. I don't really need it." I stand baffled as he grabs my hand and encircles it around the money. "Get yourself new shoes or something nice, okay? He gives me a last smile before standing from the couch. "I'll take a bath now." He announces and before I can register it, leaves the room. I stay stunned for a moment, feeling the dry material of the money in my palm. Did Phun just give me money? Wasn't he angry at me? if he was angry, why did he give me this? And when I realize that I had jumped to my own conclusions, my heart begins to ache. 

[Phun's Point Of View]

As I wash my hair thoroughly, my mind wonders back to Noh as he spoke to my mother earlier today. Although I arrived late to eavesdrop, from what I gathered, Noh is still driving himself crazy over how to convince me to meet my father which if you ask me, is useless. I thought we were over that. I had already agreed to meet with my father. All I asked was for time to gather courage and strenght for that day. He can't expect me to meet with him just like that, after everything that happened, right? Why can't he trust me and be a little patient? I know that I'm taking my sweet time but even now, it's still hard. Whenever I think about facing the stern face of my father, my heart becomes heavy with anxiety and a part of me wishes to take my word back and retreat but I know I can't do that, not when this subject is the main reason of Noh's concern. 

As I imagine Noh's dismayed expression, I let out a sigh escape my lips, creating a small fog in the glass doors. I have to admit that I felt heavily disappointed when I heard him speak to my mother through the door. Knowing that he talked to her doesn't bother me, but knowing that he doesn't trust me enough to tell me does. It's barely been some weeks since he promised he would consult me with what concerned my parents and he is already breaking that promise. Am I that untrustworthy? Is he that scared of me? But then again, I can't even blame him. I haven't proved to be trusted either. 

As I turn the water off, I let my body linger against the cold surface of the wall for a moment. I need to clear my mind which is as foggy as the bathroom after a hot shower, before pulling myself together to face him. I know that it's my turn to get him to trust me and I was willing to do anything to achieve that, just like he had done with me. I couldn't tolerate to be like this anymore, with us not trusting each other. We weren't like this before. We started being like this because of my parents. I know what I have to do as well. I would have to do as I had promised and finish with it. I would have to meet with my father soon, just like I had promised, even when the thought terrified me, and give a closure to this moment of our lives for once and for all. I had noticed him the past month, as he silently tormented himself with worry. It was interesting how much power I had over him. It reminded me of how much he loved me. My well-being was above everything to him, just like his was to me. He wanted to see me happy more than anything and it was in my hands to return at least as much. I wasn't blind. I knew how affected he was about this. Sometimes it felt like he was even more affected than I was. He was the real hero of the story. My hero, always carrying my pain and being strong for the two of us. Now it was my turn to repay him for everything and if seeing me reunited with my family was what he wanted then so be it.

Once I'm all dressed, I brush my teeth and comb my hair to the side, trying to look presentable. It's not like I was going anywhere or anything, but I wanted to look good for him. I had a few things to tell him and I hoped that we would have some stuff fixed afterwards. When I have everything sorted in my mind, I open the door and make my way silently through the house. I know that he is in the kitchen. I can hear the faucet running as he washes the dishes. The sound fills me with ease as I picture a peaceful looking Noh washing the dishes and humming to a melody he himself had created. He had come to be very interested in washing the dishes after dinner lately. I guessed it was his way of clearing his mind of troubling thoughts. 

When I walk into the kitchen, I decide to watch him secretly for a moment. Leaning against the wall with crossed arms, I watch him in silence as he scrubs a plate mind-absently. I can tell that he's immersed in his thoughts by the detached look in his face. He hasn't even noticed my presence in the room, even though I'm only a few feet away from him. He is probably creating a plan to talk to me or thinking about the right words to approach me. I know that he believes I'm angry after I caught him talking with my mother. I felt the tension when I approached him a moment ago and how shocked he was when I gave him the money I had won. He is going to apologize now and I'm sure he will try to return the money to me. He is that easy to read, like an open book.

Once I've gotten enough of seeing him scrub the plate over and over, I start to walk towards him. Opening my arms, I tangle them around his waist and rest my chin on his shoulder. I can smell that musky scent of our cologne and soap from when he took a bath this morning, and under all that, I can smell him. That bittersweet scent that I fell in love with since the moment I smelled him that night when he hugged me in an effort to keep me warm from my fever. That night was the night I realized how much he meant to me and how important he would become in the future. He jumps a little and I hear a small whimper leave his lips as I startle him, but I only press him tighter to my body in hopes that he will recognize my presence and relax.

"Jesus, Phun! You scared the hell out of me!" I hear him claim sounding a little pissed but instead of pushing me away as I had expected, he places his hands over my arms and leans against my body. We are so close together that I can feel the faint thumbing of his heart against my chest. It's beating frantically inside of him making it known that he is nervous of what I'm going to say. 

"Noh.." I drag his name is a soft voice, hoping to soothe him but there's only silence and I'm starting to worry about what he may be thinking right now. After a while, he finally speaks, "I'm so sorry."

His voice is full of remorse and his fingers are trembling against my skin. I can hear the vulnerability and the regret clear like water in his voice. He still believes that he has hurt me and that he has to apologize which is not the cage. Although I said I'm disappointed at him for not trusting me, an apology is not what I'm looking for. I need to have him face to face. I need to let him know that I'm fine. That from now on, everything will be fine. I no longer want to see him like this anymore. I want to talk to my father and finish with this already. Whether he accepts me or not, it won't matter anymore because I have Noh and that's what matters the most to me. That has been always enough for me. 

Without any more hesitation, I spin him around so we will stand face to face. I am met with two glittery eyes. The tears which he's been holding for who knows how long are threatening to spill and he looks down to prevent me from seeing them but it's too late, i've seen them. I have seen them before and I despise them in him, especially when they are because of me. Raising my arm towards him, I hold his face between my palms, gently his cheeks which are sporting a pink color. "Hey, don't cry. It's alright. I'm alright." I tell him in a reassuring manner as I continue caressing his flustered cheeks with my thumbs.

"No, its not okay! How can it be okay when I couldn't even keep a simple promise?! I promised you that I would trust you and yet, I went on and lied to you!  I talked to your mother behind your back, I'm so sorry! It's just that," He stutters and pauses for a moment, as he hesitates on whether he should stop, but after a second of hesitation, continues, "I was so afraid that you would get mad at me. I didn't want to face your wrath and ended up hurting you which is worse! I should've been honest with you, Phun! I'm so sorry!" After having spilled his self reproach, the tears begin to roll down his rosy cheeks. Instinctively, my fingers begin their route to clean those tears, and I begin to console, "Hey, hey.. It's okay! I'm not hurt! I'm okay!"

"See, I'm okay!" I show him my teeth, hoping that he would be convinced. "You don't need to pretend, Phun. I know that you're hurt and disappointed." He furrowed his eyebrows before he began to wipe his own tears, his fingers grazing mine briefly. 

"Dissapointed, maybe. But I'm not hurt. I know that you were just trying to protect me and I mean, I'm very scary when I'm mad. I can't even blame you from fearing me, I would fear me too." I tell him as I make a scary ogre expression, getting him to giggle. At this moment, he reminded me of myself as a child. I once broke one plate of my mother's favorite dinner set. I hid the broken glass under my bed but when my mother complained about it being missing, I broke down crying, feeling repetant. I was only six around then. The guilt got the best of me. Noh had always had the innocence of a child. He couldn't stand hurting others and the guilt took the best of me. Just like then, just like now. This was one trait I had always loved about him. The way he loves others, sincerely and wholeheartedly.

"I'm sorry for disappointing you, Phun.. I really am." He tells me as he gives a step back and begins to push himself to seat on top of the counter. I fix myself between his legs and raise my head to look at him. He is still looking down at an invisible point in the floor, avoiding eye contact. "What are you thinking about?" I ask him, as I hold his sides, caressing his ribs lightly under his shirt.

"I don't know. It just feels like, we are so far apart even when we are so close. There's not enough trust between us. I don't know how it happened, but suddenly, it feels as if we dont trust each other at all." He mutters and I can see sadness reflected in his eyes as they cast low. "Hey.. We can work that out, can't we? I mean, things have just been a little complicated lately with my parents but once we close this moment of our lives, we will be okay. I promise you." I reassure him and watch as he gives me a faint smile and wry nod, but I can still feel that he isnt fully assured. Silence approaches once again as I stare at him while he keeps staring somewhere else. I can't bear seeing him like this. I need to see him happy again. I miss his sincere smile and his carefree attitude. 

"Noh.." I call his name and he finally looks at me. "Yeah?" He says with some apprehension as he bites his lip nervously. I take a deep breath and prepare myself to say the next sentence which had been so hard to say in the past month, "I am ready to talk to my father."

He looks at me baffled for a moment, before his face brightens, "Really?!" He asks with eagerness. "Yeah. I've been thinking about it all this time. It hasn't been easy. Even right now, it's not easy and I'm still afraid. But I realize that my fear is only dragging things and that no matter how much time passes, I will still be afraid." I speak clearly and he watches me attentively. 

I continue with a steady voice, "I also realize how much this affects you and our relationship. I want to finish with this once and for all so we can go back to what we were before. I also want to be brave and talk to my father. I want to fix things with them, for you and for my own good."

"But..what if you get hurt by him again?" He tells me with a dismayed expression and I raise my hand to caress his face.

"It's okay. Even if he doesn't accept me and everything turns out to be the same, I will be okay because I am not alone. I have you, don't I? You'll be  there with me, right?" I tell him with confidence and stare into his eyes, searching for assurance. He nods his head furiously and looks at me, "Yes, I will! I will be with you, always!"

"Promise me?" I bring my pinky finger out and with a smile, he interlaces his with mine, sealing another promise of the countless we have made. The conviction and determination in his expression is enough to make me feel safe and assured. The fear that I had a moment ago is gone and it's replaced with excitement to meet with my father. Whether the outcome is a dark one doesn't matter anymore because I know that Noh will be by my side filling me with his light and that it's enough for me. 

We stand for a moment in silence, just enjoying each other's presence. There's a smile in his face as he stares at me, and I'm smiling at him as well, feeling contented by seeing him smile again. "So, should we in the kitchen or nah?" I give him a flirtatious grin and he hits my head playfully, laughing loudly. "Way to ruin the moment, ert!"

[Author's Note]

Hello, everyone! I've finally updated! Not that it took me that long. Anyways, I wanted to write this fast because this was supposed to happen in last chapter, but I wrote too much in last so I had to make two chapters. Anyways, I know it's more filler but next chapter won't filler, I promise! Till next time!~