But in another life
I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises
Be us against the world

Katy Perry - The One That Got Away

She wanted to curse. If she had ruined whatever he was wearing, she knew she was screwed. 

She looked up at him again. He smiled, that easy turning up of the corners of his mouth, dimples that made him look younger than he was appearing. It was a sweet smile that had ensnared many hearts, she knew. “It is Siwon, yes.” He replied. 

She wasn’t sure what to say. Maybe sorry, maybe hello. But they hadn’t seen each other in years, and now she had nothing to say. They didn’t run in the same circles anymore – she had only known him through Sungmin. And she had known, even then, that he was interested.

It wasn’t like he had ever done anything. It was more the smiles, the looks. The excuse to touch her because she was the friend of a friend. And secretly, she’d liked it. He was handsome, a real sweetheart. Probably a better man than Sungmin was, although Sungmin had something raw about him that she liked. So there had been nothing but exchanged glances, and the knowledge that if she offered something, he would likely take it.

He was a good man, however. He would never try anything while she still had a boyfriend. Especially as he respected Sungmin. And then Sungjae had happened and she had slipped out of Sungmin’s world, out of another life. 

“I’m sorry.” The smile she gave him was genuine, apologetic. “I hope I didn’t spill it all over you…”

“You didn’t. Just caught my sleeve.” He showed it to her, the smile unfaltering. A tiny splash on the sleeve of a no doubt hugely expensive wool jacket.

The sudden boom of the speakers prevented her from saying anything more, as Junghee bounced excitedly besides her. She was torn. A part of her wanted to stay here and watch Jay and Jungmo and the rest of the band with Junghee, have a good night that way. But the other part of her wanted to just talk with the man in front of her.

Junghee finally turned around. “See, told you we’d get to the fro-“ She blinked. “Hello, Siwon.” She grinned, ever the overly friendly person she was. “Long time no see!”

Chaeyeon smirked with her. “Unnie, that is a bit of an understatement. It’s been years, hasn’t it?” She was shouting now. The crowd had become louder, the music had started. Why they were yelling when they wouldn’t hear one another and wanted to watch the performance, she didn’t know.

Siwon came closer, standing behind her so he could speak right into her ear as he nodded at Junghee in acknowledgement. “We should talk after. It has been a while.” His hand ghosted down to her waist, and she had to repress another smile. She liked how he made her feel.

She almost wished that he had no idea who she was, that he didn’t know she was Sungmin’s castoff and that she was a single mother. That would make it so much more exciting, so much more freeing.

But she knew he did. How could he not know? He still saw Sungmin regularly; he’d have to, their fathers were business acquaintances, and he and Sungmin had always been friendly. That was why he knew her. A rich boy like him would have no idea of her otherwise. That didn’t stop her nodding quickly, turning to grin up at him.

His hand left her waist as she was pushed forward by the crowd, clutching Junghee’s arm. Jay was talking, riling up the crowd before their first song, but for once, Junghee’s attention was not on him. A knowing glance let Chaeyeon she had seen and approved of the little exchange. 

Chaeyeon giggled. The attention had been such a pick-me-up, and she could almost feel Siwon’s presence behind her. When the song started, Jungmo strumming ily (she caught his wink and ree of her own), she let Junghee pull her arm up to cheer, singing along loudly. She hadn’t been this perky in forever. Hadn’t had an excuse to laugh in pleasure because someone wanted her.

The feeling carried on throughout their set, as she sang along loudly and let herself forget, just for the night. When the music wound down, she was pumped, her smile wide and excited. Jay’s vocals had been perfect, husky and harmonious in equal measure, and she knew that Junghee wouldn’t leave his side for the entire night now. Not when she wouldn’t see him for a week. So that left her with nothing to do but find Siwon.

Not that she counted this as a hardship. He found her first, though, as the crowd began to dissipate, Junghee waving goodbye to go backstage. He nudged her, a warm chuckle alerting her of his presence.

A strange feeling of confidence came over her, and it was she who pulled him along with her to the bar. They weren’t holding hands, but she knew that they could, if she wanted to. Siwon wouldn’t object. Zhou Mi’s suggestive look when she appeared with a man made her giggle again. She wasn’t sure what had gotten into her. Maybe she was tired of always doing the right thing; maybe she was just tired of being boring. 

Whatever it was, she was glad of it when the alcohol they were drinking gave her enough courage to tug on Siwon’s hand, stop the conversation and gently, firmly bring her lips to his. It was stupid to do it at the bar where everyone could see, but she didn’t care. She really didn’t care as his hands rested on her waist and his tongue pushed his way into because it had been a very long time since she’d had any of this kind of fun, and she would not stop.

They broke apart a little too soon for her liking, Siwon having something to say. “But-your son?”

She shook her head. “He’s fine. He’s safe somewhere else. Just kiss me again.” She breathed, already mourning the loss of his body against hers and the mouth she had decided she wanted more of.

Siwon looked torn, but he came back, one hand in the small of her back. “Are you sure?” He murmured, gaze on her lips. At her nod, he captured them once more, and the little feeling of victory was almost a buzz. She knew where this was all going, and she had no complaints on this score. Was she acting like a ? Probably, but it was her right. Just for tonight. She wanted it just for tonight.

***

The next morning, she woke up in her bed, a headache pounding behind her eyes. Hangover, she thought. How much had she had to drink last night? It was then that she felt the heavy warmth of someone’s arm around her waist.

Okay, she said to herself. Obviously, you did something a little stupid last night. Memories of the night before started to float back. She blushed as she remembered that she’d initiated the whole thing, but she was proud of herself in a stupid sort of way. 

She slowly moved upwards, trying not to disturb the sleeping man next to her. “Oh, !” She groaned, louder this time. “Please tell me we used a . Please, please…” Her heart beat faster as she scanned the room, checking for any sign that she hadn’t just had drunken, unprotected . She really, really didn’t want another baby, no matter how much she loved Sungjae. “Oh, thank God.” She sighed in relief when she noted the wrapper lying on the floor, cringing slightly at how they’d just left it there. 

She didn’t actually remember how they’d gotten up to her room. She put a hand to her face, embarrassment flooding through her, but she couldn’t quite feel regret for what she’d done. She knew, if she rewound the night, she’d do exactly the same. After all, when was she going to get the chance again? 

They were both , only the sheets covering them. They must have driven home in his car, because she had no idea how they had gotten here otherwise.  This was a bit of an unfamiliar experience for her, to be honest. She didn’t usually bring guys home. It was lucky that today was her day off, because the hangover meant she would not be properly lucid, and would have phoned in sick anyway. At least she could be proud of her ability to schedule the silly things she did.

She didn’t want to get up; and besides, she’d wake Siwon, and she didn’t know what he was like in the mornings. Maybe he was a complete ogre about getting up, and she didn’t need that kind of in the morning. Instead, she stayed under the blanket, still trapped by his arm, and waited for him to get up. She didn’t need to get dressed. He’d obviously seen everything the night before, so he could live with the fact her body wasn’t perfect.

A couple of minutes later, he started to wake up, his eyes flickering open as he yawned. Seeing her still in the bed, he gave a slow smile. “So was I better than your ex?” He teased.

She gave a surprised snort of laughter. “Much better.” She told him, laughing at how that statement gave him an expression of boyish pride. “I think I should probably thank you for that.”

He shrugged, pretending it was nothing. “Oh, it was the honourable thing to do. What was I supposed to do when you said you hadn’t been ed properly for over a year?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Ignore me and leave me alone?” She phrased it like a question.

He shook his head. “I think my way is better.”

She smirked back at him. “Mmm, me too.”