His whole life Ha-Kyung had always been a part of the criminal lifestyle. His father was the top assassin in all of Korea. He had done jobs for all kinds of people, from loan sharks, political figures, and when he was just starting out even small time people who had simple grudges, all for the right price that is. Ha-Kyung and his siblings had spent many nights alone while their father worked. Their mother had died soon after Ha-Kyung was born, so it was only the four of them. When they were young, their father taught them how to disarm their opponent and how to make every object a weapon, other children were simply learning colors, and numbers.

Ha-Kyung cried himself to sleep many nights knowing that of all the things he wanted, and how the things he wanted the most money could not buy them. Genuine love. Sure he had a family but Ha-Kyung couldn’t remember one time either of them had expressed their love for each other. 

Ha-Shim, his brother, was the oldest and valued the most to their father. All the way from his looks to his character he was the clone of their father only 25 years younger. He lived for crime and prided himself working in the family business, following his father’s footsteps and working as an assassin.

Ha-Lan was three years Ha-Kyung's senior and was valued less than Ha-Shim but more than himself. Although Ha-Kyung couldn’t’ remember what his mother looked like he’s sure, Ha-Lan looked liked her because she resembled their father very little. She also worked as an assassin but mostly did white-collar crimes.

Then there was Ha-Kyung who had been the youngest. He was the only one to not be assassin of any sort. He was the only one who worked within the drug cartel. From the time, he was 16 and dropped out of school he had found it stimulating to make money but for some reason Ha-Kyung couldn’t help but notice that his father treated him differently after that. He didn’t show love but- respect rather to his son. That respect that his father showed him was the closest thing to love that Ha-Kyung was yet to receive. 

Ha-Kyung wanted a different life than he had made for himself. It wasn’t for him from the beginning. He wanted to have a job that was legit. He wanted to experience all the things that had been kept from him. He wanted a wife. He wanted to have kids and to know them. He wanted to have actual friends. All of these wants and desires had been welling up within him over years, and he finally got the courage to express these concerns towards his father, in hopes of leaving this life behind. Given the terms of their agreement, Ha-Kyung began to think of Cadella and how she played into all of this.

He looked at himself in the mirror he contemplated all of these things which was a frequent habit whenever his conscious started to scratch at his surface. “I’m only doing this because I have to and no other choice.” 

“Is that what you’re telling yourself?”

“Yes.”

“I know the truth hurts but let’s be honest with ourselves.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You feel guilty for lying to the foreigner.”

“No, I don’t.”

“You’re trying to justify your actions for a problem you made yourself.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You think father will finally love you.”

“No, I don't.”

“Yes, you do. We’ve always wanted things we could never have.”

“That’s not why I’m doing this.”

“Who are you trying to convince? I am you. I’d think you could at least be honest with yourself.”

“I don’t need anything from anyone. I can create my happiness.”

“Then why is the foreigner across the hall?”

“She’s only temporary.”

“Quit lying to yourself. Why don’t you stop being a coward and do something for yourself, and admit the truth!”

“What truth.”

“That you are an unlovable piece of meat who can’t think for himself…”

“Shut up.”

“…and has spent his whole life trying to earn daddy’s love…”

“Shut up!”

“… but you can’t do that because you can’t love yourself…”

“Shut up!”

“…and you can’t love yourself because you fell guilty…”

“SHUT UP!”

“…and you feel guilty because you killed your damn mother before you could even draw breath…”

“ I said SHUT UP!” Ha-Kyung took his glass and threw it full force at the mirror, sending glass to dance on the floor. Who ever said our greatest enemy is ourselves must have been thinking about Jeong Ha-Kyung. He laid on him for another restless night his thoughts refused to let him go.

…

Cadella had had a very restless night due to her persistent nightmare’s and tried all types of things to keep herself from sleeping. She glanced over at the clock for the millionth time only to see that it was barely 6 AM. “Maybe Ha-Kyung is awake.” Cadella opened the door to her bedroom and tried her best to navigate the pitch black halls. As she continued to wander the halls she noticed light beneath a closed door and knocked hesitantly. 

“Ha-Kyung? Are you awake?” Cadella heard rustling on sheets and mumbling. “I can hear you, you know,” Cadella said as she turned opened the door to his bedroom and proceeded towards his bed. “Ha-Kyung, can we go out for breakfast?” Cadella sat on the edge of Ha-Kyung’s bed and was close enough to notice that he was having a nightmare. His forehead was sweating, and he was breathing heavily and only seemed to be getting worse. Cadella started to wake Ha-Kyung up when he suddenly lunged forward and grabbed Cadella by her wrist.

“What the hell are you doing?” Ha-Kyung yelled loudly.

“I was just coming to wake you up, but you were having a nightmare and…” Cadella attempted to loosen her wrist from his grip, which Ha-Kyung acknowledge and quickly let go.

“Sorry.” Ha-Kyung ran his hand through his hair and attempted to catch his breath. “Why are you in here?”

Cadella rubbed her wrist gently “I was having trouble sleeping too and was wondering if you wanted to get breakfast or something.”

Ha-Kyung looked at his clock. “Why so early?”

“I don’t know. I just got tired of sitting in bed…” Ha-Kyung sat up from his bed. “…and besides I have a long list of things to do today and I want to get it all in.”

Ha-Kyung rubbed his eyes as he stood and started towards his bathroom. “Why can’t you sleep?”

“I keep having this weird dream, where I’m running through these trees…” Ha-Kyung stopped momentarily as he took in Cadella’s words. “…and someone is chasing me but it’s so dark I can’t tell where I’m going, and then I fall and that’s usually when I wake up.” 

“If you remember anything else, no matter how small the detail tell me arasso,” Ha-Kyung said with his back turned towards cadella.

“It’s just a dream it’s not worth-”

“I said, arasso!”

“Okay, I’ll tell you.” Once Cadella said that Ha-Kyung proceeded through the door and slammed it behind him. “He’s been awake for less than five minutes and already he’s all grouchy.”
…

Cadella and Ha-Kynug had been riding in the car silently for the past ten minutes when finally Cadella couldn’t contain her excitement any longer. “Are we going hiking?”

“No.”

“Are we going to see a movie?”

“No.”

“Shopping?”

“No, we’re not doing any of that. I have to meet my father.” Ha-Kyung stated as he scrolled through his phone.

“Well, can you drop me off downtown and get me when you’re done.”

“No.”

“Why not.”

“Because I said so.”

“I’m not a child.”

“Then stop acting like one.” Ha-Kyung coldly responded. “Now before we get here. I need you to pull off your best Korean accent; my father hates American’s especially your kind. Don’t ask a ton of questions like you usually do. In fact only speak when you are addressed. Don’t touch anything, oh and when in doubt just act like a Korean. It’ll earn you some brownie points, understand?” Cadella held her tongue as strongly as she could, not because Ha-Kyung had told her to but because her mother had raised her that if she didn’t have anything nice to say, not to say it at all, and Cadella did just that. As she folded her hands in her lap and closed her eyes to calm herself, she heard Ji-Soo speak from the front seat.

“We are here sir.” 

As Ji-Soo opened the doors for her and Ha-Kyung she decided that once this night was over she was going to have a conversation with Ha-Kyung in regards to their engagement because for the life of her she still could not piece together how she and Ha-Kyung had ever fallen in love.

*a/n Hey guys I was wondering if there was a certain aspect of the story you need clarification on, any ideas on what you want to see in upcoming chapters, or any critiques, suggestions, recommendations you might have for me. Comment below, and don't forget to subscrible.