From now on you really had to become more careful with the promises you made. You checked yourself in the mirror once more and decided that this would deb enough, you couldn’t turn yourself into something you weren’t. You brushed your wavy hair over your shoulder and straightened your dress before walking out of the bathroom and going towards your bedroom. Honestly you were no longer in the mood to go out tonight, but you had told DO that you’d come. Besides that everything was already arranged and it was too late for you to go back now, your date was already on his way. Even though you had said that you had been fine with going by yourself Baekhyun had insisted to take you tonight, which didn’t give you a lot of choice. You had no idea why he was so eager to be with you all of a sudden since he had almost ignored you the rest of the day, in school. You knew what he had been thinking about but it hurt you that he still needed so much time to figure it out. 

That kiss had been a sign to you, and you had believed that you had finally won him over. He had even told you today that he wouldn’t kiss someone without a good reason, which must mean he had special feelings for you right? His confusion made you even more confused and you had no idea what you had to do with your feelings. Did you have to try and forget about Baekhyun, move on and look for someone else like you should have been doing all along? Or were you going to keep your hopes up that he’d choose for you and get even more hurt if he wouldn’t? You had no idea, because at one way you really wanted to find out what would happen if you wouldn’t give up. But at the other side you really didn’t want to go back to being his best friend, not being able to hold his hand, to hug him, to kiss him and you surely didn’t want to get hurt anymore. 

It seemed like Baekhyun wasn’t the only one who had important decisions to make these days. With a sigh you looked around the room while sitting down on the bed, spotting a little box in the corner of the room. You walked over, sat down on the ground and pulled the box towards you in a painfully slow motion, as if you didn't know if you had to open it or not. When you lifted up the lit you saw all the stuff that Baekhyun had once given you and all the pictures you had taken together. You didn’t keep them in a box because you wanted to throw them away, but just because otherwise they’d take in too much space. He always complained about it, saying that he wouldn’t mind seeing your room full with things that reminded you of him, so that he knew that you were keeping him close to you. That was something else that frustrated you, the things he said and did. Sometimes he could compliment you or talk to you as if you were his girlfriend instead of his best friend, and that made you feel hopeful, though maybe you shouldn’t be. 

But no matter how much you loved Baekhyun, you loved yourself too and you didn’t want your heart to feel like this. How big was the chance that he’d choose for you and that he’d ever be able to forget Mira? He’d always love her, besides, she was his first love as well which only made it harder. You knew the sayings about your first love, that it was someone you’d never be able to forget, that you’d always feel connected to that person. Sadly enough in your case, that person to you was Baekhyun. You grabbed one of the pictures and held it up, seeing the two of you smiling brightly as you were lying in the grass. You were holding up your phone as you were lying on his chest, and he had his arm playfully wrapped around you. Where had these times go? When everything had still been so easy and normal? Back then it had all seemed as if nothing could ever go wrong between you, so why did your heart decide to change that? 

“I just wished I could go back.” You whispered against no one but yourself and you felt like an idiot for talking to yourself, but it was better than not talking at all. Because you else could you possibly talk to about these feelings? It wasn’t like you could go and knock on Baekhyun’s door to tell him how much this hurt you, because you would hurt him with that as well. You knew he had never meant to make you feel like this, he had never meant to make you fall for him, but how could you possibly not? For such a long time he had been the only boy you had been talking to and you had been hanging out with. That had changed after you had met his friends and after he had started dating, but still no one had ever been as important to you as he was. But, you thought by yourself and you felt a little flame burn inside of your chest. There was still a chance that Mira didn’t want to get back together with him, and that would make the choice a lot easier for him. 

While holding on to that you put the picture back into the box and closed it before shoving it back onto its previous spot. How long would that box still stand here, you had no idea. Would you be able to keep it if Baekhyun chose for someone else that you, maybe not. But for now you had no answer to those questions so you tried your hardest not to think about them. After standing up from the floor you went to l