After Baekhyun left, I had just enough time to quickly run (or quickly walk) down to the cafeteria and get myself a quick sandwich and an apple juice (that was for later) before I had to go down to the gym for my practice.

I had to continue with volleyball because it was the reason why I was even going to university in the first place. My family couldn’t afford it so my older brother had to get a scholarship to his school for soccer. Then my younger sister was planning to get one with her outstanding grades, as she was entering university within the next year.

All my friends back in my hometown thought that my family did have the money but after the restaurant we owned caught on fire over 4 years ago, haven’t been able to pay the remaining amounts of the damages yet.

The restaurant does extremely well but the cost of the damages was way too high and it might take another year before the debt is paid off.

My youngest sibling, who is only 7 years old, says that he wants to take over the restaurant when he is old enough. But then again… he is only 7.

Back to volleyball, after what happened at the tournament I realized something. It didn’t make me happy anymore. I was constantly practicing and not getting to my homework until the night before it was due or even doing the assignments the day it’s due. I wasn’t even hanging out with my friends after classes because I was always at practice. Chanyeol was basically the only one who I sometimes had time for after classes and during the weekends. I was so blinded by that volleyball and trying to be the best and be a good enough captain for the team that I didn’t even see that the love of my life was cheating behind my back.

But I only have the rest of this school year and the next one before I graduate and then I can finally stop with the consuming sport. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy playing it because it is a get stress reliever by getting to spike or serve the ball with a lot of force that was mostly pent up anger and frustration.

Yet I feel like I can’t do it anymore without the pressures that come with it.

I got to the gym a little earlier than everybody else so I decided to practice my serves. I taped up my fingers and put on my knee pads then laid my bag against the wall of the gym. I wandered into the equipment room and found the bag of volleyballs that we use during practices. Lugging the bag into the gym, I placed it next to me and took out the first ball.

I started with a running jump serve. I slammed the ball with my palm of my hand when I jumped into the air. It stung a bit and I looked down to see my bright red hand. That was why I didn’t like doing jump serves. 1. I’m not very good at them. 2. It hurts a lot.

After all the volleyballs were on the other side of the court, courtesy of me, I made my way over to my gym bag and pulled out my water as well as my apple juice I got earlier. I mostly drank water but at times I do get a bit light hearted so I need that little bit of sugar.

I chugged back the water and then took a small sip of the juice. I threw them back into my bag and went to the side of the court where all the volleyballs were.

It was good that I was only a setter instead of a libero or a middle blocker because I didn’t have to exert so much energy like they have to.

“Look who decided to show up.” I heard someone say when I was about to hit my first serve. Looking to where the voice was coming from, I saw Junghwa with a playful smirk on her face.

I laughed and threw the ball in her direction, which she dodged… sadly. “I’m here to take back my team from the replacement captain.” I raised an eyebrow at her, placing a hand on my hip. “How was it being captain while I was gone?”

“Pretty good. We are learning some new combos for nationals. Coach said that you were coming back today so I came here before practice to talk to you.” Junghwa mentioned, laying her bag next to mine and walked over to me. “A lot of us were really worried that you wouldn’t come back. Then there was one or two others that didn’t want you back.”

They didn’t want me back because of one stupid mistake?

“I don’t want to name any names but it was the first years that don’t know anything. Everyone else was happy for your return and can’t wait for you to boss us around some more.” She tried to lighten the mood a bit.

I laughed but really I was kind of upset that these first years thought that of me. “Well I’m back to be back.”

“Oh and one other thing I wanted to ask. What happened during that match point? Everybody in the gymnasium was freaking out when you just passed the out.” I knew that question was coming today but who knew that it was going to be this early? I mean practice hasn’t even started yet.

I took a deep breath and then let it out slowly. “Well just before the game started, Chanyeol broke up with me. So I was just kind of losing my focus the entire game. Then when I saw him in the stands with my friends who were cheering for me, I was confused, angry, hurt, and just… so sad. Like my heart was torn into a million pieces. I mean he wasn’t there the entire day and then he shows up out of nowhere and just breaks up with me?! Then he had the decency to actually show up for the final game…” I confessed but left the whole ‘being cheated on’ thing because it was embarrassing. “I was so out of it that when the ball hit me, I didn’t even know a play was happening and of course it had to me match point.”

Junghwa made a face at me and walked closer to me then rested a hand on my back. “If it makes you feel better, I didn’t like him anyways.”

She was lying to me to make me feel better. Everybody loved Chanyeol. He always lifted up the spirits of anybody. Sometimes he would come by practices and bring snacks and sports drinks. Coach always let him on the bus when we went to away games. He was the only boyfriend that was allowed. He was just a great guy…

~ * ~

“Good practice girls. Now go get some sleep and I’ll see you on Wednesday!” Our coach, Ms. Hwang, shouted out during the last minute of practice. “And Junhee, welcome back. We are all happy to have our captain back.”

I smiled as some of the other girls gathered around me and either hugged me or gave me a pat on the back.

After I untapped my fingers and took off my knee pads, I tossed them into my bag and starting walking with it out of the gym. I was all sweaty and gross. My face was beat red from the cardio we did.

I was about to walk outside but I was pulled back by a strong force. I turned to look at who was stopping me and saw the same boy I was with only hours ago. “Baekhyun?”

“You aren’t going outside dressed like that, right?” He said as if we was scolding me for some odd reason.

I looked down to my outfit. It was my usual practice sportswear… spandex shorts and a tight athletic tank top then my running shoes. I was curious as why he said that to me and why he was standing before me.

“Why? What’s wrong with it? And why are you still here?”

Baekhyun flushed deeply and looked away from me. “Because it’s cold out…” he slowly grew into a mumble, “And I was worried about you…”

It was barely audible but it was quiet enough around us for me to hear.

I smirked devilishly. “Ohhhhh, so Byun Baekhyun was worried that I might catch a cold. Is that it?”

"No, that's not it at all." he said while crossing his arms and looking away like the baby he is.

"Just admit it Baekhyun. You care about me." I started poking at him. He was great to tease.  

He started getting flustered and it was great to see his personality coming through that tough exterior from when I had been around him before. Byun Baekhyun was a guy who could talk the talk but his so called tough, sarcastic exterior could be broken in seconds when he does something nice for others.

"Fine!" he had a serious expression so I instantly stopped and listened to him. "I was worried. I was worried about something happening to you during your practice. I was so bothered by the thought that I couldn't even get back on the bus to go home so I waited in the library for two hours then I came here to see if you were okay. And now I see you go outside in such a skimpy outfit? It's cold, Junhee. Bundle up."

I was stunned. My mouth was wide open and could easily catch a fly if I wanted to. I had no clue what to say. Nobody has ever been that worried about me in the short amount of time of knowing me. We literally met a weekend ago and now he is acting like one of my good friends. 

Baekhyun is a strange person. But I guess I'll keep him around.

"There. Happy? Now get a hoodie on or a pair of pants atleast." he grumbled like an old man.

I snickered at him. "Yes mother."

He sent a death glare at me and I laughed evern harder.

~ * ~

It was Friday which meant it was my one class day. I got to sleep in and take my time to get to class.  And while walking into the cafeteria to go meet everyone, I saw a familiar head of hair being the loud, obnixous person he is. He was the same guy at the same table from before. Baekhyun. And topless guy. 

Of course Baekhyun was the person always at the loud table. His personality screamed carefree.

Then I looked to my friends, they were all easily chatting with each other about who knows what. Chanyeol was there, of course. But along with everyone else. So I started making my way over there.

"Junhee!" my name had got called out. Thinking it was either Luhan or Gaeun, I smiled and kept going the way I was.

Not until I felt a tap on my shoulder causing me to turn around and see Baekhyun, with his glasses on and wearing a snapback backwards. "Hey. I called you." he looked partially upset. I guess it was a case of miscommunication. 

"Sorry. I didn't hear you." I lied to maybe make him feel better.

"That's okay. It is pretty noisy in here." he smiled. 

Yeah because of you and your friends.

"What do you need, Baekhyun?" I wasn't in a rush but I could feel my friends stares on my back as I was talking to Baekhyun.

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to come eat with my roommates and I." I noticed he started fidgetting his hoodies string. 

I felt truly bad but my friends were already expecting me to sit with them. "I'm sorry. My friends are waiting for me." I pointed behind me to the table we usually sit at if it's free. "I promise I'll sit with you another time. How does that sound?"

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll talk to you later then?" he said. I nodded instantly and he smiled then waved goodbye as he went back to his own group of friends.

I kept on walking and once I sat down between Sehun and Minseok, I was bombarded by questions. 

"Who is that?" questioned Luhan.

Aerin raised an eyebrow. "How do you know him?

Then Sehun nudged his shoulder against mine. "Is that your boyfriend?" he smirked. And he was instantly hit by Aerin. 

That question shocked me because it was so sudden. I wasn't expecting him to say that. My glance wondered to Chanyeol who was sitting in front of me. He eyes were lowered down to his food in front of him. He was picking at it with his fork, obivously trying to avoid the conversation that was taking place.

"Umm, no. That's Baekhyun, he is just a friend." I muttered out, looking down at the table. Maybe I should have sat with Baekhyun and his friends then I wouldn't be embarrassed and uncomfortable. "I met him at the party last week..."

Everybody at the table… except for Chanyeol smiled and nodded. “He seems nice.” Luhan said brightly. His tone made it sound differently from how you would usually interpret it. It wasn’t like a usual compliment.

“He is.” I tried to hide the grin that was growing but I just couldn’t because I instantly though of the last time I saw him and what he did for me. “He kind of saved me.” I was so shy in saying it because it was something that I didn’t like talking about.

Once I said that Chanyeol looked up from his food and looked me straight in the eyes.

Minseok spoke before Chanyeol could say anything. “How so?” he asked.

“Well, I was off campus a couple days ago. And I suddenly had one of my attacks from my low blood sugar. I almost fainted and passed out but Baekhyun quickly saw me and helped me then took me back to my dorm room.” I had to lie a bit so then I wouldn’t have to tell the guys about the real reason Baekhyun was near me when everything happened. “If it wasn’t for him, I don’t know who would have found me unconscious on the streets. But everything was my fault anyways, I didn’t eat enough.”

Chanyeol furrowed his eyebrows at me, almost like he was glaring at me. “Why didn’t you eat before you left for downtown? You know how you get after a few hours of not eating…” he scolded me.

“Because I was in a rush and didn’t get to eat.” I fought back because I don’t get why he was angry.

“But you should have made time.” he retorted back to me.

I gripped onto the table and stood up from my seat. “I don’t need to be lectured by you right now about doing the wrong thing, you already have that covered.” I spat at him and turned then stomped away from the table.

I could feel the stares going into my back as I left. But he just made me so angry. He shouldn’t care about me anymore, he broke up with me.

When I left the cafeteria I made my way to a secluded hallway in the university and leaned against the wall. Then my feet gave out from under me and I slide down the wall until I was sitting on the floor with my knees in front of me. I curled up into a ball and let the tears fall.

I cried and cried. I didn’t care who was around me. Not at all.

The thing about what just happened between Chanyeol and I was that I wasn’t angry at all. Just confused and sad because he still somewhat cared about me. I was just angry at myself for being so careless.

I was really glad that no one followed me and just let me be.

And I thought was going to be a good day.

“Junhee?” I looked up with my beat red, puffy eyes. There were tear stains on my cheeks but it didn’t matter.

“Chanyeol...” my eyes widened.

Chanyeol said nothing but just sat down next to me. He didn’t touch me or nothing. Just quietly sat there while I cried. I still wasn’t over our break up and he knew that. But it was good to have him there with me so he can see the pain he is putting me through.

After I finished crying, he helped me up and then walked me to my class first. But before that, he waited outside the bathroom while I wiped my tears and refreshed up my face a tad so I didn’t look like a horrible mess.

Then finally as we were at the door of my classroom, he smiled down to me. He was still beautiful and so handsome when he smiled and that’s what I think I miss the most. His reassuring smile. His happy smile. His sad smile. His laughing smile.

“I needed that.” I mumbled to him. “You need to see what I have been going through.”

“I know you don’t want to hear this but I’m having a rough time too.” He said, sadly. Chanyeol was right, I didn’t want to hear it. “It’s weird not being with you. It’s weird not waking up some mornings to your gross morning breath or going to bed with the scent of your moisturizer filling the air.”

I cracked a smile. A small one. “For me it’s weird not having to hear your aegyo when you want me to buy you food or having to always tell you what goes in which recycling container.”

“I miss you.” He said, quietly. Just loud enough for only me to hear.

I needed to let go. He doesn’t love me anymore.

“I’ll miss you.” I said.

Those were two completely different sentences with different meanings. I hated saying those words. It was worse than saying goodbye.

“Junhee…” Chanyeol was playing with his sweater and acting all nervous and I was terrified for what he was going to say next.

“What is it?” I couldn’t look him in the eye anymore. My focus went straight to my shoes… which needed to be cleaned, by the way.

“Can we give us another try?”