"I'm breaking up with you."

These words were still bouncing around in my mind as the middle of the final game of the tournament. How could he simply say that to me when I found him earlier? Three years. I gave him three years of my life and this is how it ended. I thought we were going to get married after we graduated, find good jobs, get a cozy home, and when the time was right then we could have a few kids.

I know that may seem a little far fetched but that's what happens when you are in a long term relationship. You think about your future. Whatever is behind that door you so badly want to open.

Yet as I stand here in my volleyball jersey with the number 8, trying to focus of the ball that is getting hit back and forth from each side of the net. I can't help but think why didn't I see the signs earlier? Was I just too in love to see the bad things happening around me?

No one knew. And no one will ever know. I don't want to be that girl who got cheated on. During the time outs for the game that was currently happening, I spared a glance to my friends who were in the stands, cheering me on. Behind their smiles and shouts, I knew they were worried about me. I wasn't myself for this game because of course I had to find Chanyeol face with a girl in the hallways right before the final game. This was the last game, the big one, the one that would decide top picks for the end of the season tournament and if we got first place then we would have a gurnateed spot at nationals. Even second was guaranteed but I was the captian and I wouldn't settle for less.

But stupid Chanyeol had to mess everything up. I was off my game, everyone knew it. They asked me if I wanted to sit the last match out and gain my composure for the final match. I couldn't though because I was the captain. We were tied at 2 each and whoever won the final round would win the whole tournament.

When my teammate, Junghwa, served the ball I immediately got into my position as the setter. I was the decision maker of the game and if I missed a count then it would be my fault that the spiker or decoy didn't get to hit the ball. The other team rallied the ball over to our side, I knew they were going to spike the next time they got their turn. My eyes narrowed and only had my sight set on the ball as I set it over to Yewon who was the best spiker we had. My fast hit went straight into her hands when she jumped up and she spiked the ball into the other teams court. 

I was really relieved because I almost missed the timing. The whole team cheered around me, we were finally tied up for match point. Now I really couldn't start to think about Chanyeol. I would be upset later.

But when I looked toward to all my friends, I saw the most familiar face up there. How come when I looked up a few minutes ago he wasn't there? Now of all times, he really showed himself. He really didn't have an expression on his face. No sadness, happiness, remorse... nothing. He wasn't my boyfriend anymore so why did he have the decency to show himself to me after what he did to me.

Finally, our eyes met and he started to show some emotion. He looked almost... shocked? His eyes were widening and mouth was slowly gaping. He raised his arm and pointed to the other team. I turned my head and finally knew what he was talking about.

I was too slow when the other team spiked the ball... right at me. The very firm volleyball hit me hard causing me to fall back against the gym floor which was smooth, maple hardwood flooring. My hit the floor first then my head followed and got smacked against the hardwood.

That caused everything around me to go black, only voices from my teammates and friends could be heard. Even a distinctive "Junhee!" from Chanyeol filled my ears before everything seemed to fade away as I lost conciousness.

~ * ~

Being awaken by people talking around me wasn't the greatest but atleast they were my friends and not some strangers or doctors. Carefully, I opened my eyes to see my dorm room. My movie posters right beside me on the wall and my window right in front of me. I had a growing migraine though as I started to sit up.

"Woah, easy there." I felt a hand on my back and a soothing voice tell me. They helped me up so I was sitting forward. Taking a look at who was helping me, I saw Luhan with a relieved look. "Glad we didn't have to take you to the hospital. How's your head? You slammed it against the floor pretty hard." he continued talking to me.

I rubbed my eyes to try and focus them some more from this pounding headache. "I'm alright, just might need Advil or two for this migraine." I groaned, massaging my temple. 

Now was my chance to see who was all here. Luhan was here of course, then I saw Aerin, Gaeun, Sehun, Minseok but then Chanyeol was sitting at my desk. He was leaning on forward, placing his elbows on his knees. Yet he wasn't looking at me. Why was he even here? Did he not tell his friends that he cheated on me then proceeded to break up with me? Well to be fair, the guys were his friends and the girls were mine. Once Chanyeol and I started dating our little friend groups joined together. Does that mean I have to stop being friends with Luhan or Minseok and even Sehun? Maybe I shouldn't tell them about him cheating because they're Chanyeol's friends. He deserves to tell them.

Why am I being so logical about this? This guy I told every little thing to broke my ing heart and caused us to lose the final game. I mean, we got second so I should still be happy but it's my job to keep the game in order. That's why I was captain. That's why I got a scholarship to this school. I shouldn't have looked at Chanyeol the whole time during that last point. I barely even knew that my team had already served the ball because I was too focused on looking at my ex-boyfriend. 

I knew they shouldn't have let a third year be captain when there were perfectly good fourth years that would have been better captains than me. It's all my fault. It's all my fault... My fault that we lost the game, my fault that Chanyeol cheated on me...

"Do you want us to leave you alone and sleep? It's almost 8 at night anyways." Luhan spoke, looking me in the eyes. He was speaking softly which I appreciated because of the headache reason.

I nodded and gently smiled towards them all. "Please. I promise I'll text you all when I wake up."

"Okay good." Aerin suddenly started talking. She moved and sat down on the edge of my bed. "I'm sure Chanyeol will keep you company before you go back to resting."

I opened my mouth to object but nothing came out. Instead I slowly nodded and grabbed onto my bed sheets. I squeezed the fabric between my hands in frustration because I really didn't want to be alone with him.

I watched all my friends turn to Chanyeol who looked so out of it. He looked up and I watched his eyes go big. "Yeah, t-totally. I'll make sure s-she is alright." he stuttered out quietly.

"Sounds good." Luhan said in a cheerful voice. He turned back to me and placed a kissed on the top of my head, like he usually does. Then the five of them left my dorm room and closed the door behind them. Once they were out of my sight, it was silent. There was a eery feeling as well. 

The only queston I wanted to ask him was "why?" Yet I didn't have the confidence to ask or the strength to be able to listen to his reasons. All I wanted to do was cry because he broke my heart. I saw him with some other girl and I just tried to brush it off until he saw me and calmly told me that he wanted to break up with me. It still hasn't sunk in that we are broken up.

I couldn't take my eyes off of him. It's always been like that though. Chanyeol was just so handsome and when he smiled, I swear rain stopped and the sun instantly pushed the dark skies away. 

"Chanyeol..." I croaked only because if we didn't talk now, we wouldn't get anything resolved. "Did you really mean what you said?"

He didn't respond. 

Now I was starting to get angry. What did I do wrong for him to go to another girl? "Hey! I'm talking to you." I said, raising my voice but not enough for my neighbours to hear me through the paper thin walls.

Chanyeol finally looked me in the eyes. No emotion. Nothing at all. They use to be filled with so much love whenever he looked at me. How long has he not loved me?

"I did." was all he said to me. Now he looked so sad and hurt. "I want to break up with you."

"How long have you been lying to my face?" I wanted to know so badly. "How long exactly have you been going behind my back to meet other girls?" 

I gripped onto the sheets tighter as I really tried to control my emotions. Just anger, betrayal, guilt, and utter sadness were just going through my head. As much as I wanted to scream and cry, I tried to compose myself.

"I didn't tell you for your sake." he tried to tell me. 

Now I really wasn't having it. That pulled me over the edge. "My sake? What part of you cheating on me was for my sake?" I threw my bed sheets off of me and stood up in front of him. My migraine was just pulsing and it was hurting so badly but the pain of having my heart broken was even worse.

"It was two months ago. You and your team were just starting to get pumped for the tournament. You had practice almost 5 times a weeks for a few hours. I barely saw you unless it was at lunch with everyone else. I just started to feel abandoned by you. Then I met someone else. But you have to trust me, I never meant for you to find out about this. She just was at the tournament today too. She pulled me aside before your last game and started making out with me." Chanyeol had tear-filled eyes as he tried to explain to me. "I lost my love for you because I thought volleyball was more important to you then me."

Two months? "Never meant for me to find out? Were you just going to two-time me until we graduated university? Chanyeol, we were together for 3 years. I would never put volleyball in front of you. I love you. It has just been stressful with midterms, adjusting to becoming captain, and just struggling to juggle every little thing. I never meant for you to feel abandoned. You should have told me." My eyes were starting to glisten with tears that were threatening to fall. 

"I know I should have told you but I was going to wait until the end of nationals before I broke up with you. I didn't want to put you in a rut." 

"Okay. But before I tell you to leave, can I ask you one last question?" I badly wanted to go back to bed and sleep all this pain off.

Chanyeol nodded and I took a step closer, gesturing him to stand up too. He did and I looked up to him. He was always so much taller than me, I never felt intimated by it. It was adorable how his shirts were like dresses for me even if I was still above average height for a girl like me.

I wanted to take his hands in mine for the last time but I knew it wasn't right. "Did you ever consider me as your future?" I mumbled, letting the tears fall down my pale skin.

"Ever since the moment I laid my eyes on you in the hallway when you were moving in. You had dropped your box full of rock music and I knew that maybe one day I could marry you because I knew that I could put up with your taste in music." Chanyeol looked at me with a broken smile as he said that. I couldn't help but sadly chuckle.

"So I guess this is goodbye?" I asked still feeling betrayed by this whole situation.

"Well, we still have our friend group. If it makes you feel uncomfortable then I won't hang around them because I hurt you." He rested his hands on my shoulders.

"No, they are our friends. You can hang out with them still and eat lunch with them. Just give me a few weeks to kind of get use to not being with you."

Chanyeol stepped away from me and went to the door. He grabbed the doorknob and turned to face me, "I'm really sorry. And if it makes you feel any better, I'm going to end things with that girl." Then he opened my door and left.

All my frustrations just poured out of me. The endless stream of tears running down my face, the sobbing noises that were coming out of my mouth, and the running to my bed to get in and sob into my pillow. I cried and cried until I fell asleep.

~ * ~

"Did you hear about Lee Junhee, the captain of the volleyball team? She lost the game on the final point because she wasn't paying attention."

"How could she do that? She shouldn't be captain if she did that."

"I know, right? Maybe she should just quit the team. I think they are better off without her anyway."

I was on my way to class when I overheard some of the girls from the swim team talk about me and the game. Maybe I shouldn't be captain because a captain doesn't zone out in the middle of a game. Or maybe I should just quit the team all together, even Chanyeol dumped me because of it. I apparently put it first before everything. But I kind of have to because of my scholarship. Without it, I wouldn't be able to afford to go to university at all. It's my last resort for having a successful future.

All through my teen years I played it recreationally at the sports complex in my town and the coach thought I was too good for just a basic group of leisure players. He told me that I should try to play competively and so I did. Then in my second year of high school, scouts of Seoul University gave me a scholarship for when I graduate. 

I use to love playing but now, I don't know how I feel about it. 

When I kept walking to my class I saw Aerin waiting my the room door for our Child Development class. We are in the same major, which is education, so we have most of our course together. I enjoy it because we can always bounce ideas off each other for our term papers. 

"You look horrible." she said, bluntly. Maybe because for the past two nights, I have been held up in my dorm room doing assignments and crying. I haven't told Aerin or Gaeun about Chanyeol and I's breakup and I really don't want to say anything about it.

"Thanks." My voice was laced with sarcasm. "Did you finish your psychoanalysis project?"

"I finished it like two weeks ago when it was handed out." Aerin said with a smug grin. "Did you?"

I nodded and then yawned. "Finished it a few hours ago."

"No wonder you look horrible. You have been staying up all night. You were having trouble with it weren't you? You should have called me and I would have come over and pushed you in the right direction."

"I'm fine, I'm just trying to get caught up with everything since the tournament. I was really busy the past couple weeks and didn't get time to do it until last night after I finished the case studies for statistics." I walked into the lecture hall with Aerin following behind me to our usual seat.

"Man, you really are behind. That project for stats was handed out before summer break." she had a look of concern. "Are you sure you can handle everything at the moment?"

Well, with the piles of little assignments, volleyball practices and games, and Chanyeol breaking up with me... I would have to say no. "Yeah, of course. This is an ease compared to last year." I lied through my teeth.

"With the look you currently have. I'm not going to believe you but I will wait till you need someone to talk to." she took a hold of my hand, giving it a soft squeeze.