It takes two weeks for Lu Han to finally allow Yixing on set again, with a demand that the author will bring Shixun along to watch out for him when Lu Han can’t. The author agrees and doesn’t argue especially when he himself doesn’t know what he will do if he gets an attack again. Also, after all that transpired, from him fainting to him replying with that long message of gratitude, he has no idea how he will face Yifan.

Yixing never received anything back after his message to the actor so he doesn’t know where he stands or how the actor took the message. He does not feel neglected, he shouldn’t, but he can’t help but feel down spirited every time he opens his phone to check his exchanges with Yifan only to find his last message still without a reply.

It is surprisingly sunny, with the monsoon already slowing down to make way for autumn. And it is just the perfect day to be out and enjoying the sun light that the day brings.

Yixing is currently with Lu Han in one of the old houses the company built from scratch. He is leaning on one of the sliding doors while he watches Yibo film one of his solo scenes. When Lu Han calls cut and walks to his actor to give him a more extensive instruction, it startles Yixing from his daydreaming of peaceful walks on a seaside village; his eyes instantly traveling to the director and the talent who are having a hushed discussion about the scene. The rookie actor is wearing robes as well but unlike the fine silk around Yifan’s body his are made of a lesser kind of fabric. Even so, the actor’s beauty brings so much life to the humble piece of clothing that it can rival even the finest silk that China can create.

After talking with the rookie, Lu Han gives him time to internalize and get in character again; leaving him behind to ponder on his instructions. With the given time, the director goes to Yixing to check up on his best friend.

“You’re surprisingly holding up well.” Lu Han comments as he approaches Yixing at the far end of the current set. He notices the pallid color is indistinct compared to before and he is not having any difficulty in breathing or a bad headache either. It seems like the previous events were non-existent and just part of a distant memory but Lu Han knows better. It is either his best friend is just really good at hiding the signs of his difficulty or this is just a phase, a sort of a remission period. Whatever Yixing has will remain with him, he knows that and there will only be times when it isn’t at its peak or is barely there, days when Yixing can be like this, carefree and making sure he savors the moment to the last drop.

“I told you I just need to get used to it.” Yixing hums, smug when his friend finally reaches him. Lu Han just snorts at his reply. If it was two weeks ago, the director would be fuming every time Yixing said anything in defense even if it made sense. But being Yixing’s best friend and the only other person outside of his family to know about his attacks and the reason behind it, Lu Han can’t really stay mad knowing that Yixing only has him to trust.

“We’ll be done here in a while then we can move on to the next set.” Lu Han informs Yixing, to which the younger raises a hand to give him a thumbs up and a lazy smile. Then they just stand there, quiet while they observe the people shuffling different equipment, busy movements blurring before them like they are watching everything in fast forward.

“Are you really okay?” Lu Han finally asks when the silence starts to become deafening, his eyes still following his crew around, making sure they are placing the equipment where he needs them to be. He hears the author chuckle beside him before straightening up.

“You want me to be honest and have you panic at me?” Lu Han then turns to look at him, his eyes wider than their usual deer-like size, “Hell no.”

“Yixing,” Lu Han voice is barely over a whisper, a scolding tone can hardly be heard from its edges, and the author doubles over in a fit of laughter at the horror on his friend’s face.

“I was just kidding, Han.” Yixing manages to say when his laughter dies down into giggles, “Now go back to work.” He shoves Lu Han by the shoulder, who, if people were not around, he knows would have given him the middle finger as he walked away to take his seat in front of the monitor again. The elder shakes his head in disapproval even as he retrieves his headphones from where he had left it before. Yixing thinks this is all funny and Lu Han can’t be sure if that is really how he sees everything now after having things the way they are ever since he was little. But the director shoos away the thoughts and focuses on his work in the meantime. He can scold Yixing later for not taking things seriously, right now his undivided attention needs to be on Yibo and the actor’s scene.

***
 

As the elder had promised, after a few takes and a satisfying fourth, they packed up on that house and moved to a different area of their vast set. It is still a house but this one will be the abode of Yifan’s character. Thankfully, the first scene they will shoot will not be of Yifan’s character but of his father. Yixing breathes a sigh of relief when Lu Han informs him. With just the idea that he will be in the same room as Wu Yifan has his heart thudding in a rambunctious manner against his chest and he knows it has nothing to do with his attacks.

“We’ll see you at the other set once you’ve changed.” Yixing hears Lu Han shout out to Yibo as he climbs down the stairs of the entrance of the house.

When they start walking towards the direction of the other set, they come across Minseok. It is obvious in Yixing’s eyes that Yifan’s manager is smiling from ear to ear at the sight of Lu Han. He seems to greet with the same disposition whether the director is in a good mood or is being sour. Yixing smiles and nods at him and was about to catch up in a casual conversation when he finds Lu Han going straight and not even stopping to acknowledge the manager. The author just gives him an apologetic smile and a promise to talk later when they see each other again before running after his friend who is already a good few meters away by the time he leaves Minseok behind.

“What’s the matter with you?” He immediately blurts out when he falls in step with Lu Han. The director pretends not to hear and just keeps walking. Only when Yixing yanks him by the arm does he concede to the younger.

“What?” Lu Han asks against gritted teeth, annoyed that his steps are halted. Yixing crosses his arms over his chest, foot tapping the ground as he waits for Lu Han to answer because he knows, even as great as a director he is, he can’t act well, at least not in front of Yixing.  As if to give clue, the younger nods towards the direction where they came from while saying the manager’s name.

“What about him?” The director is starting to look impatient, pushing forward again and leaving Yixing behind.

“Why are you so mean to him?” Yixing finally lets it out. “He was being nice to you. Did you even hear him greet you good morning?” The younger has noticed this from the very beginning. Ever since they started the reading, Lu Han seems to treat Minseok lesser than others; not meeting his eye, not talking to him as much as he can even he is being addressed to by the manager and sometimes he is just being plain rude by not acknowledging the presence of the manager. And it is starting to piss Yixing off.

“Well there is nothing good in my morning.” Is all Lu Han replies, completely disregarding the other details of Yixing’s complaint. “Well, not anymore.” The author grumbles before him, completely irritated at his friend’s avoidance of the root of the conversation, his attitude towards Minseok.

“Why do you even hate Minseok?”

There, Yixing thinks, I said it. You can’t deny it anymore.

“I don’t?” Lu Han replies, baffled himself of the younger’s accusation. And Yixing doesn’t think his eyes can roll any further to the back of his skull.

“Right,” Yixing answers sarcastically, “because ignoring someone greeting you and trying his best to exchange pleasantries with your sour is normal.”

“I hate how that manager’s secretly arrogant like his talent.”

“There, finally, you admitted it.” Yixing breathes out a sigh of relief but then he backtracks at Lu Han’s words and splutters, “Wait, what?”

They finally arrive at the set, the crew already busy preparing the place for the upcoming scenes that they are going to shoot inside the Yu residence. Lu Han gives instructions here and there, Yixing falling back behind to give his friend the space to talk about the following scenes with the crew. He waits closely behind until Lu Han lets go of his men to move to the inside of the house.

“Minseok is adorable what are you talking about?” Yixing follows him inside, aware that minutes will go by and Yifan will be in the same vicinity. But for now he doesn’t care, he needs answers. Lu Han doesn’t seem like he wants to answer but he also knows that Yixing is persistent and will stop at nothing to get a response, a proper one.

“Oh, did you see the way he flirted with some of my female crew?” Lu Han stops after they turn into one of the hallways that will lead them to the room of Lord Yu. “You should come to my coffee shop some time, we make the best coffee in town.” The director makes his best impersonation of Minseok, smiling like a lunatic, showing even his gums, eyes opened as wide as possible. “Please,” he is back to his normal voice in an instant, a dismissive hand up in the air, “I’d rather choke on my saliva down my throat than have a goddamned coffee from his shop.”

“His coffee or his ?” Yixing comments unabashed with a sly smirk gracing his lips. He knows that there is only him and his best friend in the area so he is not afraid of uttering such words.

“Oh my god, Yixing.” Lu Han quickly covers his mouth with both of his hands, head turning to every direction to make sure no one heard his friend’s inappropriate words.

Yixing just pulls the elder’s hands down, freeing himself from the elder’s hold before giving him a thoughtful expression and sincerely telling him, “You like him, Han.”

The director blushes but tries to fight against it, breathing heavily as he counters: “No, I don’t.”

“Then why are you so riled up about him getting involved with other people?” Yixing crosses his arms over his chest again and leans forward, menacing and challenging.

This action seems to scare off the elder who leans back as Yixing looks at him with  curious eyes, not letting any word pass by without his scrutiny, “I just don’t want him distracting my staff and crew.”

“Sure.” Yixing clicks his tongue in disapproval, knowing full well that this is just a lie, “If you say so.”

“Yixing!” Lu Han fumes, hands balled in fists to his sides, the blush he can’t fight now creeping to the back of his neck. The younger playfully makes a motion to zip his mouth, lock it and throw the key somewhere far before walking away with a hum under his breath.

Lu Han grumbles and almost throws a tantrum if the younger didn’t turn around to wink at him. He hates how Yixing knows him so well and how his best friend so easily douses fuel to his unwanted desires.

“Hi Lu Han!” The director startles at the chirpy voice but keeps his expression blank when he turns around to acknowledge Minseok because he knows Yixing is watching him and if he treats the manager like he usually does, the younger will say something about it again. “I brought you coffee.”

“No, thanks. I already have one.” Lu Han lifts the coffee cup in his hand to show Minseok before looking down at the script he placed on top of the monitor in front of him.

“Oh, but I personally made this one for you.” Minseok’s sad voice catches Lu Han off-guard and he feels his heart constrict at the tone. Unknowingly he lifts his eyes to meet Minseok’s and he immediately regrets it. The manager looks hopeful with his gummy smile, lifting the coffee cup that has the logo of his coffee shop.

Lu Han doesn’t have the heart to turn him down and in truth he is actually holding an empty coffee cup. He accepts the offered drink and he was, for a moment, afraid that Minseok’s smile will render him blind.

As he watches the manager walk towards his talent with a skip in his steps, he internally groans: Why the do you have to be so ing cute?

Conveniently or not, Yixing prances towards him with Shixun in tow and surprisingly Zitao beside the university student. The younger looks towards the direction Minseok went to before looking at Lu Han, offering the elder the sandwich he had fetched for him from the snack bar.

“I know what he looks like now.” Lu Han munches on the sandwich Yixing gave him, gently placing the coffee cup on the storage boxes in front of him.

The younger inches in closer, curious at how his friend’s temperament can change so swiftly when Minseok is involved, “And that is?”

“A baozi.” He answers seriously, eyes still on the manager who is tending to his talent’s needs in a room at the other end of the set where they are asked to wait until Yifan’s turn comes up. Yixing giggles at the elder’s concentrated face and the cute revelation.

“Don’t you think so?” Lu Han’s head turns toward Yixing’s but his eyes are still on Minseok’s figure, “His cheeks are so round and so cute–” He catches himself, surprised with his own words and before he can continue he cuts himself off and breaks his watch of Minseok to look at Yixing who is chortling beside him, hand covering his mouth in vain.

“Finally! You admitted it!” The younger accuses as hushed as he can, trying to contain his excitement with nothing but a finger pointed at the elder.

“I–” And Lu Han knows there is no point in taking back his words because Yixing heard every little thing. And really, he has no power over Yixing in this department, “Yeah sure,” he shrugs, trying his best to act with every bit of nonchalance he can exert, “he’s cute but that’s the end of it.”

Yixing can do nothing but scowl and roll his eyes at the elder’s denial, “Right.”

There is obvious tension, , between the two older males and Yixing will do everything in his might to eliminate that useless, annoying divide between the two. Or so help him.

***

From: Yixing♥

I forgot to thank you a while ago. I’m sorry if I came out rude too, I just didn’t like that you and Lu Han were arguing. But thank you for taking care of me and I’m sorry for burdening you. Have a good sleep, Yifan.

“Oho, there’s still a heart.” Yifan almost jumps out of his own skin at his manager’s voice, his grasp tightening around his smartphone as if it is his own life, it may possibly crack if he lets his hands loose.

He only glares at Minseok before placing his phone inside his backpack. The older male doesn’t seem fazed, already used to his talent’s usual glares that actually hold no threat behind them. He meant to delete the heart emoticon beside Yixing’s name that his manager so good-humoredly added when he entered the author’s digits in his cellphone but he never got around it. Funny because it is so easy to do yet he always forgets to do it; considering the fact that he has been opening their correspondence for the last two weeks that he didn’t see Yixing visit the set. He didn’t know what to reply to the younger and just left it hanging. Thinking over and over about what he can reply to the younger that is within the context of the author’s message but he comes up blank every time. Days later, he deems it too late to reply, as he looks longingly at Yixing’s last message.

“If you just replied instantly then that would not have been the last one you got from him.” He remembers Minseok telling him when he caught Yifan gazing at his cellphone, opened to reveal the message from Yixing.

He would have said something smart back, retorted that he didn’t really want to receive any reply from Yixing anyway.  But he kept his mouth shut because in reality he actually wants to keep the ball rolling, to keep the conversation open, in hopes that he will get closer to the author. As to why, he doesn’t really have an answer. All he knows and, now admits even though reluctantly, is that he feels a certain pull of, dare he say, attraction, towards the younger. Maybe it is because Yixing seems so fragile and in need of protection, security and care that Yifan thinks he can give but there is something bothering him.

Never has he questioned his uality before and all because of a certain brunet, he has himself thinking if he actually swings that way.

In all honesty, he is not completely bothered by it. There are a few friends and acquaintances of his in the industry who he knows are openly gay and some who are still in the shadows about it but are obviously into people of the same . What troubles him is the possibility of him being a homoual.

If he was, then he would gladly accept it than shun the feelings away and pretend all his life that he is still that perfect vision of a man. If there is something that Yifan can’t do it is to lie, most importantly, to himself. He knows it will hurt him and probably even the people around him so he wouldn’t want to.

“He’s here you know.” Minseok pulls him away from his thoughts and back to the real world.

“Huh?”

“Yixing, he’s here.” Minseok repeats, looking bored as he leans against the wall, watching his talent go through the process of wearing layers of the rich robes, now in deep red.

At the mention of the author’s name, Yifan straightens up, stiffer than he has to be for the outfit change. For a moment, his brain goes haywire and if his eyes didn’t widen for a fraction of a second, Minseok would have thought nothing is happening. The elder chuckles to himself as he watches Yifan’s reaction and he is so tempted to say something even in front of all the hair and make-up artists and stylists who are in the same room. But he bites his tongue and keeps his words for later when they have the room all to themselves. Yifan is tense, he can see it in the crease in his eyebrows, the thin line on his lips and his shoulders hunched up as he is being dressed.

The manager patiently waits until the room is all cleared out before he says something. Yifan already has his hands on his phone again, the white bubble from Yixing’s message looking more threatening than he had ever seen it.

“Don’t tell me you’re planning to message him right now?” Minseok’s voice is low and quiet in disbelief. Yifan didn’t seem to get the idea when he said Yixing is on set. So he words it out because that is how dense his talent is, he should have known. “What I’m saying here is, instead of just looking at your phone and hoping that by some God-given miracle a text from Yixing will arrive, why not go out there and greet him. Say the things you wanted to say but was never able to because you were shy and being a big baby, giving the excuse that you didn’t know what to say.” Minseok doesn’t even hold back because if there is anything Yifan needs, it is honesty. And if no one is willing to give it to him then his manager will.

“Hey!” The actor protests, quickly stowing his phone away so the elder can’t about it anymore. “I was just looking at the time.” He gives an awful excuse, to which Minseok pointed at the clock placed above the entrance door. “I didn’t know.” His face goes flush from embarrassment and Minseok can do nothing but chuckle as he sulks and sits back on his chair to wait for the remainder of the time while the other actors are shooting their scenes.

“You’re really not going to go out and say hi at least?” Minseok urges, raising an eyebrow to coax his talent.

“I need to memorize my lines.” Yifan picks up his script and flips to a random page, not really noticing that none of the lines are for him. Minseok clicks his tongue, dismay evident on his face as he trudges towards Yifan who has successfully found the right page for his next scene.

“What is disturbing you?” Minseok starts massaging Yifan’s shoulders, easing the tension there as he pushes down on tight muscles that have the actor stiff in his actions. He sounds like the older brother that Yifan never had, the kind of family relation and friendship he had been longing for since he can remember. That moment he realizes why he chose Minseok to be the person to run around with him in this crazy world of entertainment. The older is wise for his age, considering the fact that he and Yifan share the same year but unlike Yifan he knows how to handle things, how to be calm and how to be the bigger person, no matter how cute-sized he is. He knows if there is anyone he can share things with, it would be his manager. Yet, he holds off his tongue, his words drown back into a sea of others in his throat when the elder asks again.

“It’s nothing.” he answers, using his acting ability to pretend that it really is nothing. Although he knows Minseok will see through the cracks, he still puts up the act. If the elder noticed it, he probably decided not to comment on it. Saving it for later, not pushing his talent when he knows he should be focusing on his upcoming scenes.

“Alright.” Minseok finally says, hand easing out and releasing Yifan’s shoulders. There is still tension there but it is the kind that Minseok cannot give cure to just by the mere work of his hands. It is within Yifan, buried and locked. And all he can do is be his diligent manager now and his honest friend later.

Someone knocks on the door, causing them to turn their heads towards it. Zitao’s head pokes in and smiles at them warmly, “It’s your turn.”

Yifan stands up in his tall height, the fabric around his body making him look more regal than he already is and he brushes the dust off, as if there is any, before he straightens the creases, all but in vain. He looks at Minseok who gives him a thumbs up and he smiles. Yixing is out there, maybe even in his set. Two weeks and this will be their first encounter. He will be fine, he hopes.

When he comes out and reaches his location, the study where Yu Shi An stays for most of his days, head buried in a pile of scrolls and textbooks that noblemen of his age devour. He takes his seat, as instructed by Lu Han and in the far corner of his eye, leaning against one of the pillars, there he is.

Yixing.

They make eye contact and there is obvious surprise on the younger’s face when he realizes that Yifan is looking at him but then his features relax, much like they always are, comfortable is what Yifan would use. Then he smiles, dimpled and welcoming. He wants to think for a second that he is alright that he is not bothered even just a bit by the small smile Yixing is giving him as he shifts in his place to deliver his lines and act his role.

But he is.

And he doesn’t know why he likes it.

A/N: Finally! After what feels like centuries, an update! Sorry for the long wait, I was supposed to update last month but things happened. Anyhow, I'll see if I can pick up the pace from here on since I'm still having a hard time piecing stuff together. How to words, really. But thanks for holding on! I hope you keep a tight grip >< See you guys in the comments section below :) TTYL! :)