Two days after they started filming, two days after Yixing’s attack on set, the author shows up again at the filming site and this time he’s alone. He doesn’t really know why but he felt the urge to come and keep watching even when he knows that there’s a huge possibility that something similar from the past incident might happen again. But here he is, walking towards Lu Han who’s currently talking to Yibo about a scene. Yifan was on the other end of the set getting ready for a take; he doesn’t notice the author’s presence on set being a good forty feet away from him.

And then it hits him like a bullet train at full speed.

Yixing feels the dizziness first before he feels his airways constrict. Before it gets any worse, he turns back around to find some sort of shelter where he won’t see any of these people. He spots Kyungsoo coming out of one of the dressing rooms followed by a male and a female who were holding a microphone and a camera. He focuses on Kyungsoo walking away and lets his gaze follow the younger man’s back as he disappears behind the tall trees.

He somehow regains enough of his composure to start trudging to the dressing room. When he opens it, he finds Jongin sitting on one of the sofa chairs reading some papers. When he hears the door open, the producer lifts his head up with a smile thinking it was Kyungsoo but it immediately turns into a frown when he sees that it’s Yixing. It’s not that he was disappointed; it’s just that Yixing looked like he’d been showering in his own sweat and he looked sick again. He’d heard from Zitao about what happened on the first day of filming and when he messaged the author, he dismissed his worries and said he’s doing fine and that he just needed rest; to Jongin it looks like he needs much more than that.

The producer stands up and helps Yixing to sit on one of the sofa chairs before fetching him something to drink. The author thanked him when he reached out for the offered glass of water.

“Yixing, are you sure you’re alright?” Jongin’s eyebrows are meeting in the middle as he looks at Yixing gulping the water down like it’s his first in a long time. “You know you don’t have to be on the set all the time.” The author replies with a weak smile after putting the glass down.

“I’m fine, really.” Lies, Jongin thinks. “Trust me.”

“I trust you, alright but maybe not with your own self. I should get a driver to get you home.” In panic, the producer pats down his pockets for his phone.

“No, you don’t have to worry about that.” Yixing tries to stand up to reach for the producer’s hands and stop them but he’s still too weak for anything physical so he falls back down on his chair and hopes his reasoning would be enough. “Besides, I just got here. Let me stay for a while.”

They hear a knock on the door before Kyungsoo comes in. He bows when he notes that there’s another person in the room. When he looks up and sees it’s Yixing, his eyes widen because of how the author looks. He’s still having a little trouble breathing, the scriptwriter observes, as his chest is rising and falling faster than and more noticeable than it should be.

Jongin then eyes Yixing for a second before retrieving his briefcase and folders with a shake of his head.

“Okay but if you do need a driver just let me know. Kyungsoo and I need to go for another interview.”

“Sure.” The author replies, even if he knows he wouldn’t want to bother the producer and Uber would be more convenient. “Have fun.”

“These interviews aren’t exactly my definition of fun.” With a wave of goodbye, Jongin and Kyungsoo leave him in the dressing room and he’s all alone again. He takes the time to get his breathing back to normal, closing his eyes for a few minutes to allow his heartbeat to find calm. He doesn’t even notice when he falls asleep until someone is shaking him awake.

He finds his best friend’s imposing figure before him, arms crossed over his chest as he scrutinizes Yixing quietly.

“You’re here again.” Lu Han said with a scolding tone and a roll of his eyes. “I was hoping Kyungsoo was just joking. I thought after that attack I won’t see you back here any time soon. I didn’t even think you’d come back, not ever.”

“Two days should be enough.” Yixing rubs the sleep from his eyes as he sits up properly.

Lu Han just keeps eyeing him and he feels sort of exposed with the way his friend is running his eyes up and down, possibly looking for any damage just from being on set before he pulls back a bit to ask: “Are you sure about this? Don’t you think last time was pretty bad?”

“I should get used to it.” Yixing stands up carefully this time, hands on the table beside him for support; making sure his knees aren’t jelly anymore. He releases a breath when he finds strength restored in his limbs before he moves to grab more water. “Desensitize myself. There’s no use in running away from it.”

“But Yixing…” There’s concern laced in Lu Han’s voice as he tries to reason out with his best friend.

“I’ll stay as far away as possible, I promise. I need to do this Lu Han or I’ll forever run away.” Yixing turns around and tries to even out his breathing and not break down. He knows he needs to do this. For him, it sounds absurd that he’s already twenty five but he still has his so-called habits from his childhood.

“You lied to me, you know,” there’s just enough venom in the director’s words for Yixing to flinch the slightest, “you told me you’re past it already but then you have an attack, in public, Yixing.” Lu Han stresses the words to show importance on the words in public, to remind Yixing that it happened in front of people who don’t know him and his personal story.

“I can’t let that happen again.” Lu Han adds, as if the responsibility is on him as the author’s best friend.

“That’s why I’m staying as far as I can.” Yixing meets Lu Han’s eyes in an attempt to persuade his best friend and change his mind completely. “Please Lu Han, you should be encouraging me here.”

“I don’t know, Xing.” Lu Han shakes his head at his best friend, breaking their eye contact easily, “I just don’t want it to happen again. People will wonder and we wouldn’t have an answer.”

Yixing just pouts at him and hopes that it will be enough to force his friend to let him stay. He turns around to return to his seat, to think of a way to make Lu Han say yes but he knows there’s barely anything that can make the director agree with his wants.

“Look, Han,” so he comes up with, “Just, please?” Nothing. He lets his head drop low and wipes a hand over his face in frustration.

“Okay.” He looks up after hearing Lu Han’s quiet voice and his face lights up.

“Okay?” He repeats the word in askance; trying to confirm if he heard it correctly.

“Okay but you have to stay away from the set, Yixing.” Lu Han needs to set rules if he doesn’t want a repeat of what happened few days prior. “I can’t take care of you while I’m working. You have to swear by it.”

“I promise.” He raises a hand in assurance before jumping up to give his best friend a hug. Lu Han stands idly as Yixing squeezes the air out of him. It takes quite some time for the younger to release him; only after telling him that he already has to go back outside to shoot again.

“I hope I didn’t make a bad decision here.” Yixing slaps Lu Han’s arm after the director’s parting comment before he left for another take.

The author stays in the dressing room for a while, knowing there will be some extras who will come in to cool down when they’re not needed. He patiently waits but the door doesn’t open for a long time and when it did, it was one of the managers, retrieving his talent’s cellphone. In the middle of debating whether he should go out or wait it out a little bit longer, the door opens again and he feels the air in his lungs out with just a mere eye contact with the man before him.

“Yixing.” Yifan’s deep voice cuts through the silence inside the dressing room and he stands tall in fine green silk that Yixing can’t help but have his jaw drop to the ground.

“Oh, umm, hi.” He manages to reply afterwards, at the same time as he’s trying to even out his breathing and preventing it from going out of his control again.

The actor doesn’t seem to notice his troubles when he asks: “Umm are you, are you alright? I mean last time, Minseok told me you were really sick.”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Yixing fares to stutter out as he soon feels the heaviness weighing his head down. “I’m f-fine. Just didn’t have enough rest, is all.”

The actor looks at him with his eyebrows furrowed before walking closer to where Yixing is seated. He kneels down in front of the author; gauging whether he can touch him or not. He eventually puts a hand over the younger man’s forehead and beads of sweat stick to his palm when he makes contact.

“You don’t look alright to me.” By now, his voice is the only thing Yixing can focus on. Everything feels heavy and he feels out of breath as he tries to work hard against losing to his body’s commands. He loses to it sooner than he wanted and the next thing he knows the warm hand on his forehead and Yifan’s voice is gone, only to return minutes later with a medic.

Yixing fights against losing consciousness but everything feels tight and heavy that even with the medic reassuring him, he blacks out in the middle of the room. The last thing he hears is Yifan shouting his name in a vain attempt to keep him awake.

***

“Good, you’re up.” Lu Han’s tired voice is the first thing he hears this time. He hears a grunt somewhere beside him and when he opens his eyes fully, he sees Yifan, now completely changed into a plain v-neck shirt and tattered jeans with his hair hidden beneath his snapback.

“Let’s get going. It’s getting pretty late.” Lu Han helps him up from his lying position; without a care for his earlier attack.

“Hey, careful.” He hears Yifan say before a hand flies to his wrist. “He might not be fully recovered yet.” The actor continues as he glares at the director whose hand is still trying to yank Yixing to an upright position.

“Well, he brought it upon himself. He should suffer the consequences of his actions.” Lu Han’s words just made the actor more irritated than he already was, forcefully removing the director’s hand from Yixing’s. A rumble is heard from where he’s seated and Yixing notes his nostrils flaring as he keeps his angry eyes trained to Lu Han’s. The author would have found it funny if his best friend is not doing the same thing.

“If you’re tired, just go.” The actor finally says after seconds of deafening silence. “I will have Minseok take Yixing home.”

Lu Han clicks his tongue in disapproval and is about to unleash hell on the actor with how his fists are balled tightly against his sides, when Yixing puts his other hand out in a placating manner.

“I can go home by myself.” The author stands up from the bed, glad that he didn’t falter on his own feet, not offering a good bye to his best friend nor to the actor because he’s not really appreciating the fact that they’re fighting in front of him for no good reason.

“Yixing,” Yifan catches up to him and he’s surprised that it’s him and not his best friend who’s trying to stop him from leaving by himself, “let Minseok drive you home.”

“I’m not a child,” he retrieves his jacket from the sofa he remembers himself being seated on hours ago. He doesn’t turn around when he continues talking, “I can go home by myself. I’m pretty sure your manager is exhausted as well.” He opens the door and as if to prove his earlier statement, Minseok stops mid-yawn when he spots Yixing and Yifan coming out; eyes blurring with tears from his postponed yawn.

“Ready to go?” The ever bubbly manager asks them both but Yixing shakes his head.

“Take Yifan to the apartment.” Yixing places a hand on Minseok’s shoulder before shortly glancing back to the actor behind him. “I’ll be on my own.”

“But…” Minseok looked like a helpless puppy, trying to fumble for his words so that Yixing will take him up on the offer but the author is already walking away from them without so much as a wave of good bye.

***

“He didn’t even say thank you.” Yifan is back in the apartment now. A house rented by the company so that they don’t have to drive every day to go to the outskirts of the city where they’ve built their set.

“You know I have his contact number if you want to talk to him.” Minseok pitches in as he sets the actor’s stuff on the table.

Yifan hesitates for a little while, the idea is tempting but in the end he replies: “No need.”

“Sure.” The manager holds back a snort at how his talent is acting all nonchalant towards Yixing when he obviously wants to get close to the younger author.

The actor pulls some clothes from his cabinet and uses the bathroom first to wash off the grime that he didn’t get to remove earlier. Today wasn’t taxing but he had to get a bit dirty for a few scenes and the terrain being all muddy from the rain doesn’t help in keeping him speck-free.

He turns on the shower and only gets in when the temperature is just right, not too hot or too cold. He closes his eyes and lets the water run down his hair to his broad shoulders, his wide back and hard chest before meeting again at his hips to slide down to his thighs and legs, only to end up down the drain. It has been Yifan’s habit to stay under the shower for a good ten minutes to ponder about his day and he’s noticed that ever since he met Yixing inside that café, the author has been constantly part of his shower thoughts.

Today was no different and the fact that all he could think of in those ten minutes is the author completely baffles him and leaves him staying underneath the shower longer than he’s supposed to.

In the puddle of his thoughts he vaguely hears a knock on the door followed by his manager’s voice: “Don’t stay too long. You’ll get sick.”

With that reminder, Yifan hurries to shampoo and soap his body up quickly before rinsing a day’s work down the drain. He used to let the thoughts wash away as well but somehow they stick to him like his second skin and the image of Yixing stays with him even after he hits the hay.

“Can’t sleep?” Minseok asks when he notices Yifan, fully covered by his blanket, toss and turn when he came out of the bathroom. The actor pretends to be sleeping but he’s been holding his position for a long time that he had to move and he hears his manager snicker. With no make-up on and in his old clothes on as his makeshift pajamas, he pulls the blanket down unceremoniously and blows on his bangs. Minseok lets out the laugh he’s been holding all this time.

“Tell me what’s wrong, buddy. I’m all ears.” The manager cups the back of his ears when he faces Yifan and waits for the actor to talk and let it all out. “Would you like some beer in your system to help loosen that tongue?” Minseok adds when Yifan just stares at the ceiling for a good minute. The actor shakes his head because he has to wake up early the next day and he doesn’t want a hangover, although the offer is very appealing especially with what’s bothering him. He can blame it on the alcohol and pretend he didn’t say anything or that he forgot what he said if ever Minseok brings it up.

The manager gives him a look and he pulls himself up to sit before slumping forward with his enormous hands covering his face.

“Yixing.” He murmurs and since it was dead silent his manager was able to hear it even though it is muffled because of his hands. The Korean shakes his head with a small smile gracing his face.

 “I told you, I have his number. If you’re so worried then just message him.” Minseok walks to where Yifan’s phone is charging on the nightstand; punching in Yixing’s number himself because he knows the actor will never do it.

“I don’t even know why I’m worried.” There’s obvious conflict in Yifan’s voice and his whole face contorts into one of confusion as well. Minseok s his cellphone into his hands before walking to his own bed.

“Admitting that you’re worried is enough to message him.” Minseok pauses for a yawn before pulling the blankets to let himself in. “You don’t need to know why.”

“But Minseok,” the manager has settled on his bed now and was about to turn off the light on his side, “don’t you think he’ll feel weirded out if I message him out of nowhere?”

“You were there when something happened to him. That in itself gives you the right to be worried for his well-being. Look,” Minseok heaves a breath, unbelieving of how stubborn his talent is being, “if you don’t want to then don’t. Try to go to sleep and hope that he’s back home and feeling better. Now, let me sleep. Good night.” Minseok turns the light off without another word; flooding the room in darkness afterwards.

Yifan is still sitting up with his cellphone in his hand, he blindly looks at where he knows his hand which is holding the phone is. He grips it tightly, breathes in deeply before clicking the home button. His face is bathed with white light from his smart phone and he’s not even surprised that he immediately sees Yixing’s contact when he opens it. He clicks the bubble to send a message to the author and once he’s there, he doesn’t know what to say.

“Oi, are you still awake?” He looks to where Minseok has his back towards him, not sure if he’s just playing dead or is really sleeping. His question was soon answered by a snore and when Minseok hears him grunt for the nth time that day, he forces himself not to laugh at his talent’s struggle else he’ll break his cover.

Yifan closes his phone and lets his blanket devour him again. He tries to sleep once more but his phone that’s just beside his face is tempting him to write to Yixing. Little does he know, on the other bed, Minseok is close to crying whenever he grunts in frustration.

He types then deletes then types again then deletes again. It took him a good five minutes of re-writing his message and even then he still wants to delete it and completely forget about sending the author a message. He furrows his eyebrows and hits send without thinking too much. Before he can even regret it, he tosses his phone out of his blanket.

At the same time, Yixing is just reaching his home when his phone vibrates inside his pocket.

From: Unknown number

Hi. It’s Yifan. Did you reach home safely?

He wonders if it really is the actor’s contact so before replying to the unknown number he sends a message to Minseok with the cellphone number attached to it, hoping the manager is still awake.

To: Minseok ge

Ge, is this Yifan’s number?

The reply came faster than he expected. He was sure Minseok would be knocked out on his bed by now.

                From: Minseok ge

                Yes, I gave it to him because he seemed worried about you. Hope you’re doing fine now.

Oh. Yixing blushes at the thought of Yifan worrying iver his well-being but he tries not to dwell too much on it, fearing that if he does he’ll develop feelings that he doesn’t want to have in the first place. He ends up sending Yifan a reply as he enters his apartment building.

                To: Wu Yifan

                I did. Thanks.

Although his answer seems cold and not how he would usually reply to people, probably not how one would expect a reply from Yixing but he doesn’t want to give the actor the wrong message through his replies. He can’t help but glance at his cellphone throughout his elevator ride even if he knows the device will vibrate if anything came. He’s never felt this before, anticipating for something from someone; someone he barely knows.

He leaves his cellphone on his nightstand and strips himself to shower, hoping the water will help him forget what he’s currently feeling.

What are you even feeling, Yixing? He asks himself as he turns the shower on.

No, no. Don’t think about it. Don’t. He scolds himself but no matter how much he tries to stop himself from thinking of Yifan, all he can see is the earlier image of the actor stamped behind his eyelids.

Why the hell does he have to be that handsome? Yixing groans as he soaps himself up. He knows he’s not supposed to have such thoughts especially inside the shower but he can’t help it. He finishes his shower in a rush so he can get rid of those thoughts easily. He checks his cellphone again but there’s only one reply from Minseok. With an inexplicably heavy heart, he closes his eyes and wishes for sleep to take him already.

But it was a proving to be a Herculean task. He tries his best to get a wink and with the attack that happened earlier in the day he thought he’d effortlessly get into dreamland but something is keeping him up and he doesn’t know what it is.

Giving up on getting any sleep soon, his mind easily flies back to the day’s events and how outraged Lu Han must be at the moment. The older has not sent him any message yet which is so out of character, considering he treats Yixing like he would his little brother if he had any; always asking where he is or if he got home safely.

He considers sending his best friend a message but he doesn’t really know what to say. He could say sorry for staying when he knew perfectly well what might happen or he can say something about how the director interacted with Yifan when he woke up. He expected him to be mad and maybe even worried but there was more than just anger when he saw Lu Han snap at Yifan and he’s not sure he’s ready to confront him about it yet. Besides, it’s already too late to argue with his best friend who he knows is probably too tired to even think about getting mad at him. He would have to give him a call the next day because if there’s anyone he doesn’t want to be in good terms with, it would be Lu Han.

He also thought about how he reacted when Yifan offered him a ride home. He didn’t mean to be rude in shutting him down and now that he’s going back to it, he realizes that he didn’t even think about the older’s concern for him at that moment. Yifan must have been so afraid seeing his attack first-hand. He remembers Lu Han’s first experience too and he can’t forget how the director told him how he felt so helpless when Yixing looked so pale, even describing that Yixing looked like death was coming for him. The actor must have felt the same, maybe even worse. Yixing scolds himself for not being considerate enough and not even thanking the older for his concern and for taking care of him.

He reached out for his cellphone again and deliberated on writing one more message for Yifan. He does end up sending him one and with that he felt something released from his chest and it became easier to fall asleep.

To: Wu Yifan

I forgot to thank you a while ago. I’m sorry if I came out rude too, I just didn’t like that you and Lu Han were arguing. But thank you for taking care of me and I’m sorry for burdening you. Have a good sleep, Yifan.

A/N: Hey everyone! First of all, sorry for the huge gaps in updates. I've been writing a lot of other stuff, Fanxing stuff. You can check em out on my stories :( Also, I'm not sure if I'll be able to update this coming month cause I'll be writing other fanxing fics for fic fests. ><

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