Jungkook's pov

It was harder than i thought. I made up my mind to apologize to her one week ago. But here i am, acting like i don't really care when i actually do. (just a little) The week passed without us talking to each other. It was just merely, "Hi", "Is there homework for today?" or "Okay, bye". I just couldn't bring myself to talk to her because i'm not usually the one who initiates the conversation... in fact, i never once did after what happened to me and my ex-girlfriend... I didn't feel like conversing with people anymore except my hyungs, whom i knew was always there for me, no matter what happened. But, talking to another human being was really hard for me. 

It was a chilly sunday morning and i was out jogging in the park despite the weather. I needed to empty my thoughts... 

Just then, i saw two familiar figures walking in my direction. They both looked really happy, talking and blabbering on about life. 

Should i take this opportunity to apologize? But Ha Young is there too...

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I swiftly pulled down my hoodie and jogged past them while looking down. Ugh. Why didn't i stop to ask for her time? I felt so useless. I stopped jogging, flagged a cab and headed to the dance studio at downtown. Dancing always does wonders. Every time after i dance, I'd feel as good as nothing bad ever happened to me. (In short, it clears my mind from everything)

I opened the door and heard music playing.

"Ya, Jungkook! Why are you here? It's a sunday and there's no practice." Jiming hyung scratched his head and walked towards me.

"I just wanted to dance." I replied coldly to my favourite hyung. I guess he could sense that i was in a bad mood because he didn't pry further and let me use the studio instead. 

"I'll be in the bath! Let's go for dinner later okay kookie ah? Hyung hasn't been hanging out with you in a while." he pouted at me cutely. I pondered for a while and nodded my head, watching him go inside the bathroom and then i started dancing. 

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"Woah! Looks so appetizing!" Jimin hyung exclaimed as the food we ordered finally came to fill our empty stomachs.

I nodded livelessly and began eating. Jimin hyung put vegetables onto my plate. I smiled lightly as i thought myself "some things never change". I felt bad for not telling Jimin hyung about it when he cares about me so much. Whenever something happened to me, he was the first to realise and was always readily there by my side. 

"Ya hyung..." 

Jimin looked up with a surprised expression. 

"Yeah?" 

"When we do something wrong, we must apologize right?" 

"Of course! Ya kookie, what happened?... Tell hyung. Maybe i can help?" 

I told Jimin everything that happened and he put his index finger to his chin and rubbed it thoughfully. 

"Hmm, i think you should be a man and aplogize to her! After what you did, you still acted like it was nothing to you but you actually care right! If not you wouldn't be sitting here talking to me about it.....?" 

Right, i really need to get this over and done with. 

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It was lunch time at school and i saw my opportunity to call her out and finally apologize to her. (I hope) After 30 minutes of thinking of how to go about doing it, i walked to the cafeteria to look for her. I searched high and low for a familiar looking face but i couldn't find it.

Just my luck....

I was afraid that if i don't find her now, i would change my mind about apologizing. I was about to turn around to search the school for her when someone tapped me from behind. I turned around and saw Na-eun standing behind me, her hands interlaced together, as if a high school girl was going to confess her love. 

"Jungkook can i talk to you?" she was looking up at me, given my dominating height compared to hers. 

"Yeah, sure." 

"Wait for me after school outside the school gates?" 

"Okay." 

She turned around and her hair flipped. Scents of strawberries and a fusion of roses diffused through the air. I felt dizzy. Was it her perfume? It sure had me dazed for a moment there. The rest of my classes were boring as i thought about what Na-eun wanted to say to me. I could apologize to her properly too. I was looking forward to after school when someone interrupted my thoughts and gave me a slap on the back,

"Jeon Jungkook, anneyong!" 

I turned around to see a mischevious Ji Myung laughing as she watched my eye twitching in annoyance.

"Han. Ji. Myung. You wanna die?!" i raised a fist and she flinched, moving backwards. I almost laughed at her terrified expression but fisted a cough to hold my laughter in.

"SCRAM!" she fled like a bullet train after i shouted at her. I was friends with Ji Myung ever since Junior High, so she knew almost everything about me. She was my closest friend apart from Jimin and V hyung. Ji Myung even knew about me and Jung Hana, that . It was Ji Myung that helped me through that period of time where i had my heart broken. I was really thankful for her, but once again i couldn't bring myself to express it in words as it was way too embarrassing. Knowing that girl, she'd probably tease me for such cheesy talk and i'd probably never forgive her if she did. So i didn't think of going through the hassle to thank her and i know she probably knew that i was thankful but i just couldn't express myself. 

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After school

I saw her waiting at the sidewalk already. I was supposed to be the one who does the waiitng but stupid Mr. Park made me finish my undone assignment on the spot in class so i was a little late. 

"Sorry about that, i had some unfinished business." 

"It's alright. Let's go somewhere quieter to talk." 

I nodded and we started walking. It was a deafeningly quiet walk. No one spoke more than a sentence. Our arms would touch occassionally as we walked side by side and we would mutter a "sorry" to each other at the same time and then turn to the other direction to hide our embarrassment. We walked pass a cafe and she asked me if i would like anything to drink, 

"No, you go ahead. I'll wait outside." 

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She came out with a cup of hot chocolate, both hands grabbing the cup to receive warmth from the drink. I could see her cheeks getting pink from the weather and she didn't have any sweater or coat on. She must be cold. But, yeah as you guessed, i did nothing but ignore the fact that i should probably remove my coat and give it to her. But i didn't. 

We continued walking.

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We finally reached a park. It was kind of dilapidated but there was still a few souls jogging around but couldn't be bothered with our conversation as they jogged past us. So technically, it was quiet enough for a talk. 

"Jungkook," she said, capturing my attention from the joggers.

"Listen, i'm really sorry about what i said that day, about making yourself useful elsewhere? Yeah, i shouldn't have said that and i'm sorry if i hurt your feelings..." oh no.... my plan to apologize first, failed and right now i really seem like a mean jerk. Or was i already one in her eyes? 

"It's okay, i was feeling gloomy that day too. It's not your fault." i muttered.

It was silent again as the wind blew, making me shiver slightly. After a few minutes of "silent game", i broke the silence.

"That's all you have to say to me?" i was already starting to feel inadequate and annoyed. I wanted to go off somewhere to sort my feelings out but i couldn't, as leaving suddenly would be too abrupt. Before she could say anything more, V hyung saved my life by choosing to dial my number at the right moment. I fished out my phone and answered the call,

"Yes hyung?" 

"Ya, kookie, meet me at your house in 10, i have something important to tell you." before i could even reply, he hung up.

"Na-eun ah, i need to leave." 

She nodded her head and i left. I walked from the park towards my house. It was a 15 minutes walk but knowing V hyung, he would probably be there in 20 minutes when he said 10. I had plenty of time to spare for myself. I walked to the coffeshop and bought myself a drink. I slurped on the drink as i pondered about what happened earlier. I mentally faced palm myself as i shut my eyes in anger.

Why didn't i apologize to her earlier?

I let a girl make the first move.

When will i ever, ever stop being like this? 

It was just so hard for me to express myself.

It was never my thing to do so.

But nobody understood.

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Upon reaching my house. i saw V hyung already standing there, looking at his watch frantically, possibly wondering why i wasn't there yet. I tensed up, knowing that V hyung was never on time but when he was, something must have really happened.

"Ya, hyung." 

"Oh kookie ah..." I watched his face with a pained expression, my eyebrows creasing together, wondering what must have happened that he had this tormented expression on his angelic face. 

"The thing is..." he hesitated and the suspense was killing me more and more by the passing moments. 

"YA HYUNG WHAT HAPPENED?"

"WE ARE GOING TO TAKE PART IN A DANCE COMPETITION!! YOU, JIMIN HYUNG, J-HOPE HYUNG AND ME!" he smiled widely and his eyes turned into crescents, complementing his rectangle smile. 

"Ya! You gave me a shock! I thought something bad happened to you tsk. You're annoying!" i folded my arms childishly. 

"Kookiee~~ i wanted to give you a surpriseee~~ don't be mad at meeee~~ come onnnnn~~" V hyung whined as he back hugged me, who was amused by his ageyo. 

"Alright, enough!" i laughed as i turned around to gently slap his arm and he gave a dramatic expression, showing that he was in pain. V hyung never fails to cheer me up at times like this. 

"But why the sudden competition?" 

"Oh, Jimin hyung suggested it. As it's J-Hope's last year in high school, Jimin wanted to make it memorable for him." V hyung said casually. 

V hyung glanced at his watch,

"Kookie, i need to go meet my mom for early dinner! See you in school and i'll tell you the details!"

"Becareful!~" i waved goodbye to him and he did the same.

I sighed. It was refreshing, hanging out or just talking to V. It was always pleasant and he was forever filled with crazy ideas. That's no wonder people call him an alien.

How i wish Jimin and V hyung were here with me right now.

I sighed again as i can never escape reality. Being with the two hyungs just made me forget about things temporary, but my worries were bound to surface again.

I opened the door and went into my house. I changed into a pair of sweat pants and my favourite hoodie, the aircon and slumped onto my bed lazily. I pulled the covers up to my belly button and plugged my earpiece into my ears and played my favourite song to listen to when i was feeling down. It started to drizzle outside, and i was alone in bed in this frosty and gloomy evening. 

I am of no use to anyone after all. 

Why bother changing just for one person that's worth it?

No matter how i try, i can't seem to open up to any new people.

I guess i shall just be the old me, frigid and unapproachable, like how i used to be. It's easier this way too because, 

"We shouldn't set ourselves on fire just to keep others warm."

I drifted off to sleep in this icy weather, secretly hoping that someone would come up to me and open up my iced-cold heart. 

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Author's note: 

I thought i wouldn't update anymore before prelim 2 ended but thanks to my friend(s) who constantly keep asking me to update, i did :> 

ARE YOU HAPPY NOW GLADYS?!?

HAHAH okay jokes aside, Jungkook is turning cold again hehe. I told you he wouldn't budge easily. That guy is stubborn and egoistic as hell. Realise he never said sorry at all when Na-eun apologized? Even though that was his original motive? Heh :3 Let me know what you guys would like to see more of and i'll try to put that in! See you in the next chap! 

`Peterabitt