No matter where you're from, no matter where we're going

You're always encircling around me and you'll even flutter your eyes at me

Along the road there will be bends but please don't be anxious

Because if you love me, no matter what you think about, you won't have to worry about a thing.

Please look at me, don't hide away from love

Oh I always remember your beauty

Love comes stealthily, without time for a warning

Love is now in progress, getting ready to set out

Your insomnia became worse. Nearly every night, I heard you tossing and turning in your bed and even when there's silence, I knew that you were not sleeping, but rather staring up at the pale ceiling of out dorm. Your health was suffering as well due to drastic weight loss. 

It was inevitable- you had to leave. Your desire to stay with your remaining 10 brothers, was not worth your life- for surely your body will gradually succumb to the stress and sickness brought on by an idol's life. I wasn't surprised when our manager reported to us one evening that you were planning to file a lawsuit against the company in a bid to exterminated your contract, if an agreement wasn't reached on the terms of the contract. Shock was etched upon the faces of the other nine members, as they chattered urgently to each other before turning their attention to Suho and me, the leader and the eldest of the group, in search of a plan of action. Honestly, both my mind and heart were empty, devoid of any emotion or thoughts. Only one thing mattered- You were truly going to leave me. 

But I wasn't angry, or mad, or shocked. I was numb. And as the days dragged on into weeks, my mind remained numb. Everything was just a blur. Colours, images, people, sounds all flitted through my mind but none of them registered, not until I saw you again, for you had disappeared ever since the day before we were informed of your disagreement with the company

I missed you so goddamn much. I had never felt so lonely than in that three weeks during your absence. But it was also during those three weeks, that I realized my other 9 brothers were suffering as much as I, yet they still had enough space in their heart to comfort me, their elder brother who should be the one protecting them. I guess I was hopeless at hiding my emotions because more often than not, a gentle hand would rest on my shoulder, or a warm pair of arms would wound their way around my waist and in Chanyeol's case, a hand would pat my head, all signs of comfort which I needed and sought, much to my embarrassment, from my fellow members. These small gestures eased the pain of loneliness greatly, but a part of my life was still missing. 

Finally, less than a month away from our concert and nearly four weeks since the disagreement, you returned. Although looking much healthier than when you left, dark bags still haunted your pained eyes, which were framed by sharp pale cheekbones. All the members rushed to you, all shock, anger and sadness gone, and embraced you like the the waves of the ocean embracing the shore, because that what you were- solid stable ground which calmed the agitated ocean. Celebration came first. We literally had a feast with Kai ordering 15 servings of chicken, Chanyeol ordering 8 large pizzas and 3 packs of 6 pack coke as well as garlic bread, cups of ramen, kimchi and we even set up our own Korean barbecue. I know. We were all going to be swollen with junk food by the end if tonight, but I couldn't bring myself to ruin the mood, especially when everybody, including you, were smiling so sincerely and brightly for the first time in a long time. 

" Luhannie, You're finally back!"

"Yeah hyung, we missed you so much." 

"Our little deer is home!" 

The others spoke of joy and relief, but I could feel neither. All I could think of was that this joy and happiness was going to be temporary. Soon you would still leave us. And I think the others knew that as well in the back of their minds, but they still clung to the sliver of hope that everything will return to normal. When midnight struck and the members had returned to their respective rooms except for you and me, you moved closer, encircling me in your arms. 

"Lu-Lu..han"

And the dam burst.

I just remember crying and crying, breaking down in front of you as you held me. I hadn't cried since I was nine- a record that I was extremely proud of and would uphold at all costs. But tonight, it didn't matter. All that mattered was you- the warmth of your body around me, the rise and fall of your chest next to me accompanied by the steady beating of your heart like a lullaby next to my ear.

Through the tears, I dared a glance up and I was met with your twinkling eyes, fluttering with a mixture of pain, happiness and mirth. I quickly covered my face in your shirt, suddenly self-conscious. You laughed softly- I could feel your chest gently vibrating from the action. A few remaining sobs escaped before they were reduced to sniffles. 

"Xiumin, don't cry. Shhhh...it's okay. Baozi, Look at me." 

I didn't move.

"Love, please look at me, you know you wanna. Don't hide from me." 

My heart skipped a beat and out of surprise I stared at you with wide eyes. You smiled at me.

"Yes, I love you. And I mean it, Minseok. So don't you ever avoid me again, okay?" 

Then you bent your head so that our foreheads were touching and we were nose to nose. Warmth pooled at my cheeks at our close proximity, so close that I could feel your breath across the inch of space between our lips. Your eyes scanned my face carefully.
Without warning or hesitation, you closed the remaining distance and captured my lips in a tender kiss. My body tensed and I closed my eyes out of nervousness rather than pleasure. This was almost too good to be real, but the gentle press of your mouth, as soft as rose petals, against mine sent wild tremors along my nerves, evoking a light-headed and toe-curling sensation that rendered me completely incapacitated. 

It was a short but sweet kiss. 

As the warm embrace of your lips left, to be replaced once again be the cold night air, I slowly opened my eyes. At that moment, your eyes were smiling, twinkling brighter than ever with mirth and love. I thought 'This is what an angel must look like. I must be in heaven.' I will always remember your beauty. 

"I love you too, Luhan." 

Your memories and even the future will be filled with my footprints 

Hidden within my mind, I feel incredibly happy becoming the password to love 

That one kiss initiated our love and over time, the budding bond grew every time you held my hand- (By now, you didn't care who saw our conjoined hands because there already were millions of pictures floating on the internet of you dragging me along by the hand at the airport, at disneyland and even on the street)- sneaked in a kiss on the cheeks or a peck on the lips, when you thought no one was watching. Although nobody mentioned anything, I still suspect that the nine other members knew about our secret. Well if they hadn't, they certainly did that night in China during our "Lost Planet" concert. 

You were still suffering from nervous headaches and occasional insomnia, but the quick visit to your motherland did wonders to your mood as you were suddenly transformed back to the springy, energetic deer that I had first met. After that particular concert where the chinese fans shouted your name and some even held up "Lumin" or "Xiuhan" signs, you were feeling exceptionally........naughty. In the van on our way back from the concert, the managers, staff and members all congratulated each other on a job well done, but as soon as we reached our hotel, I found myself being hauled by the hand through the hall, into an elevator and through the corridors until finally the door of our shared room came into sight. You let go of my hand. And looked into my eyes.

"I love you, Kim Minseok." 

"And I you, Luhan." 

Your eyes showed the sweetest tenderness and love, as did the warm hand that now caressed my cheek. Closing the distance between us, you pressed your lips against mine, gently at first, but with every soft tug and bite, the intensity grew until finally (I am not proud to say this) we were openly making out in front of the door. Your tongue danced with mine, fighting for dominance, as a soft palm brushed the heated skin underneath my shirt. 

"Ahhhh....L-Luhan.......not here......open the door...."

With hooded eyes, you leaned towards me and breathed into my ear. 

"Fine then Xiumin.....We'll continue this inside." 

A shiver ran through my body. 

You opened the door nimbly, dragging me inside before slamming it shut. Our lips latched together once more in a intrinsic dance, molding and melting into each other. Passion, love, and lust jumbled into one big wave and crashed into us with uncontrollable force, breaking our shoreline of calm and serenity. My once cool-headed thoughts were washed away. That night, filled with pants, moans and promises of love, I welcomed you into my body and for the time we were connected at both a mental and physical level.