"So you never explained to us what your boyfriend's surprise was," my friend, Seong Im asked as me, her, and Sun Young were eating dinner together at a restaurant down the street from the school. 

It was Friday night and we had all decided to splurge a bit after the week the three of us had had. Sun Young and I had passed our chemistry tests, while Seung Im had to take two tests, and so far she only knew she passed one, the other still hadn't been graded yet. 

Midterms ; they're dark, bleak, and the the life out of anything that gets too close. Not so unlike black holes.

"Oh yeah," Sun Young said.

"Either your boyfriend really wasn't pregnant or you place a disturbingly small amount of importance to it," I commented.

"No, he's pregnant." Sun Young rolled her eyes. "We just don't think it's a big deal. We'll just set it in a corner and throw some food at it ever once in a while.."

"'It'?" I asked, aghast.

"In all seriousness, though," Seung Im said, trying to get the conversation back on course before we got too distracted.

"In all seriousness," Sun Young repeated, pausing while a smirk spread across her face. "He gave me a key to his apartment."

"Oh my gosh that's so exciting!" Seong Im squealed.

"Congratulations!" I said.

"I know! I'm so happy! Although I did kind of expect him to propose."

"It would have been the responsible thing to do since he's pregnant," I said.

"Or maybe he's waiting on you, since you're the one who impregnated him," Seung Im added.

“Ever the voice of reason,” Sun Young said, taking another bite of her food. 

“Someone has to be,” Seung Im said as she finished off her food. “You guys get too excited and don't stop to think before you act most of the time. You're too impulsive.”

“My impulsivity is what landed me my boyfriend.”

“It also almost lost you your boyfriend in the same night.”

Sun Young and her boyfriend had met on a night when our friend Jong Hyun had set us all up on a group date with some of his friends. Sun Young and her boyfriend, Jin Ki, had hit it off pretty well at the start, but then alcohol got involved and Sun Young was never very good at holding her liquor. Seung Im, who is surprisingly good at it, thankfully noticed that Sun Young was more than just a little tipsy and promptly ended the whole thing before Sun Young could make a mess out of it.It was a good thing she was paying attention because I was too busy making googly eyes at the guy who would eventually end up “cheating” on his girlfriend with me.

It all makes more sense on how I got involved in all of that knowing alcohol was involved.

“I knew you'd take care of me,” Sun Young said.

“Thank goodness you have a boyfriend to do it for you now. It's exhausting to keep up with you both.”

“Clearly, since you let me flirt with that creep,” I said.

“Exactly. There's only so much of me to go around.”

"You need a boyfriend yourself to help you take care of us.”

“Nah, she'd just wind up taking care of him, too. You just need to hurry up with Xiumin because he seems responsible and Seung Im could really use a break.”

“Me and Xiumin are just friends,” I said for the millionth time. 

Because that's all we are, I think. I mean, I still find him incredibly attractive, and I'm finding out that he has an awesome personality and gets along with my friends. Or, at least Sun Young, but if he can handle Sun Young he can handle any of them. But while I'm poised dangerously close to accidentally falling for him again, I don't think it's the same for him. When he’s relaxed, it's great; we joke and laugh and get along really well. But just as often as not, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells with him. He shuts down easily, and I know he's keeping something from me. It's not really any of my business, and I don't think it's some deep dark secret, like he murdered someone in America and came back because he was running from the law, but it is still annoying.

If he liked me, I doubt he'd let it be so obvious there was so much I wasn't supposed to know.

We all finished up dinner not too long after that, and decided to wonder around for a bit before going home. We walked and talked until Sun Young remembered she needed a new razor. We made our way to the closest convenience store, and while wondering the aisles, looking for the one with razors, I came up short when I saw Xiumin standing in the middle of one, looking awkward and lost. Sun Young and Seung Im hadn't even noticed him, they'd just kept on walking when they saw this wasn't the aisle they were looking for.

I hesitated before walking up to him, trying to think about what could possibly be wrong for him to be so upset. It only took me a few seconds to figure out why when I noticed what actually was on this aisle; sanitary pads. He was standing in front of a wall of them, looking at each one, considering, but clearly having no idea which one to actually pick.

He was out buying pads. What does it usually mean when a guy is buying pads? He has a girlfriend.

I was more upset than I really wanted to be at the realization that he had a girlfriend. I wasn't devastated by it, thankfully, my heart wasn't exactly breaking like it had when he started dating Hee Yeon. I didn't like it, really didn't like it, but it didn't hurt that much.

At least, not as much as it had before.

I suddenly remembered Xiumin'd said he hadn't dated anyone since high school. I was annoyed at being lied to and that it proved  that there really was stuff he didn't want me to know for whatever reason. Strictly speaking, it really wasn't any of my business, and he had a right to keep things from me, he's not legally obligated to keep me updated on his love life, but I still didn't appreciate being lied to.

But then there really wasn't a reason to. Why would it matter if I knew? If he had found out about my old crush and didn't like me, he wouldn't hide it. And if he thought I still liked him, he'd probably bring more attention to it to let me know he was taken and uninterested. I seriously doubted it was a repeat of the guy who used to me to try and make his girlfriend jealous. Aside from the fact that he doesn't seem the type, it's highly unlikely to happen again.

Kind of like my running into him again was highly unlikely, but I didn't dwell on that thought.

Then I realized, and I felt stupid for having to realize it, that there could be another kind of girl he'd do this for. Xiumin’s an only child, so he wouldn't be doing this for a sister, but maybe he was doing it for his mom or an aunt or cousin or some other girl he was related to. Just because he didn't live at home didn’t mean he never saw his family.

I was a little unnerved by how comforting this realization was for me.

I finally forced myself out of my head and walked up to him, feeling like I should put him out of his misery.

“Hey.”

His head whipped around when he heard my voice, and his eyes widened when he saw me. His cheeks turned a little pink from embarrassment, then he turned his head away and stared resolutely at the ground.

“Hi.”

“Need help?” I laughed a bit as I asked, hoping to help him feel more comfortable. I thought it was pretty silly that guys make such a big deal about this stuff, anyways. Periods are just a thing that happens. I mean, it's definitely gross, but it's not like the guys have to deal with the cramps or the bleeding. Even so, we girls can't even mention such things for fear of upsetting their masculine sensebility over it.

Still, I respected that he was willing to actually come out here and buy the pads, whoever they're for.

“Yeah,” Xiumin said, answering my question. “I have no idea what I'm supposed to be getting.”

“You weren't told a specific brand or type?”

“She just said whatever is fine.” He shuffled his feet as he spoke, hunching his shoulders, seemingly trying to disappear. 

“Is she a heavy bleeder?” He stared at me wide eyed again, the color draining from his face as he halted his movements. I could see panic forming in his eyes as my words started setting in. “Here.” Trying to back track out of the situation so he'd stop freaking out, I just grabbed a package from the brand I typically use and held it out to him. He just stared at it in my hand, not moving to take it, so I tucked it up under my arm so he wouldn't have to carry it, yet. 

"Need anything else?” I asked as I started walking out of the aisle, hoping that would make him feel more comfortable, and me less embarrassed by him getting so embarrassed. I was glad when I noticed him following me. 

He shook his head.

“You don't have to carry those,” he said with much effort, holding his hand out for the pads.

“Do you really want to walk around the store holding them?” He blanched and shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. “That's what I thought,” I said, smiling. “Running errands for your mom?” I asked nosily.

Clearly, this was the wrong thing to say. His face stiffened, and while I had distracted him from the awkwardness of the situation, it wasn't exactly the way I had wanted him to react.

“My aunt,” he clarified.

“That's nice of you,” I said, confused again on where I'd gone wrong.

“It's the least I could do.”

When I gave him a confused look, he continued.

“My aunt and uncle take me to dinner with them and my cousin every other weekend.”

“That's nice of them,” I said, still confused.

It's not that I find people hanging out with extended family strange or anything. My mom has three younger siblings, the youngest being ten years younger than her, which makes her not that much older than me. We get along great, and she used to take me to movies or shopping with her a lot before she got married. Not too long after, she got pregnant, so I don't get to see her much anymore.

What I found strange was the consistency of it, of his aunt and uncle taking him to dinner, and the fact that it only appeared to be him they took, that his mom never came. Maybe they were his aunt and uncle from his dad’s side and they just didn't get along well with his mom, but still. It was odd.

Yet again, though, I had to remind myself that it wasn't any of my business and I shouldn't pry. I tried prying earlier, and he didn't like that. I should learn from my mistakes. 

"Jin Ri!” Seung Im called as her and Sun Young rounded the corner of another aisle and saw us. “There you are.”

She came up short when she saw I was standing with someone. I saw recognition flicker across Sun Young’s eyes, and when Seung Im glanced at her, she saw it too. I could see her putting two and two together and figuring out it was Xiumin.

“Hey,” Xiumin said to Sun Young, who greeted him back. This time, I did manage to remember to introduce Xiumin and Seung Im to each other.

“Oh, I see how it is; you'll introduce Seung Im, but not me?” Sun Young asked, feigning hurt.

“Probably because I can actually be normal.”

“You mean boring.”

“I mean less abrasive.”

“I don't know what you're talking about, people love me.”

“Once they adjust.”

“Once they adjust to my awesomeness.”

“Sun Young,” Seung Im said, looking at me. “Control your friend; her ego is inflamed again.”

“I thought it was your responsibility to take care of us.” I couldn't help my smile. Part of it was definitely because I love my friends and I think they're fun, but mostly because their banter seemed to put Xiumin at ease since he was smiling too.

“No, it's her boyfriend’s responsibility now.”

“Then why are you telling me to?”

“Because I've had two tests this week and you've had life too easy lately.”

“I had a test last week, too.”

“Drama Queen.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Guys, my fabulousness doesn't need to be subdued,” Sun Young cut in.

“Oh, yeah,” I said, suddenly remembering what I was holding. Turning to Xiumin, I said, “you need to go, don't you?”

“Yeah, I do, actually. I was at the restaurant down the street with my aunt waiting for my uncle and cousin to show up when she mentioned she needed something from here, and I said I'd get it for her. My uncle and cousin have probably shown up and they're all waiting on me, now.”

“Then you'd better hurry up and grab what you came for,” Seung Im said. “We should probably go, too. I'm exhausted. Are you buying that, Sun Young?”

One of her eye brows shot up when she noticed what I'd been holding onto. She glanced from it, me, Xiumin, and then back to me, surprised I was carrying around pads in front of the boy she assumed I liked.

“Actually,” Xiumin began, embarrassed again, “those are for my aunt.” He jutted his elbow out at the package in a vague gesture to indicate what he was talking about. “I didn't know what she needed until after I said I'd come.”

At that point, both eyes on both girls shot up.

“Min Seok,” I heard a guy say from behind us.

When I turned, surprised to hear someone use Xiumin’s real name, I saw a boy that looked not much younger than us, probably about Soo Young’s age, walking towards us.

“Mom sent me to check on you since you were taking so long and you weren't answering your phone.”

“Sorry, I was about to head that way,” Xiumin said, even more embarrassed now. “This is my cousin, Kyungsoo,” he said to us. “This is Jin Ri, I went to high school with her, and these are her friends; Sun Young and Seung Im.”

We headed over to the cash register after that. The only person working checkout was a guy, and when I set the pads down in front of him he had a deer-in-the-headlights look not unlike Xiumin had earlier. 

“Oh come on,” Sun Young said, exasperated. “It takes you two seconds to ring them up. It's not like you're a girl who has to deal with the actual period which lasts a week and happens every month consistently  for 30 to 40 years unless you get pregnant.”

Seung Im just sighed, used to this behavior. Kyungsoo, Xiumin’s cousin, definitely turned pink when he heard her, along with the cash register guy. Xiumin turned a little pink as well, but not so much as the other guys, apparently having been desensitized earlier when I was helping him find a kind to buy. I tried hard to suppress a smile, being in full agreement with Sun Young.

“Thanks for the help,” Xiumin said to me after he had paid and the pads had been bagged. 

"No problem. You looked so pitiful, I felt too bad for you to let you go on suffering like that.” I gave him a sympathetic smile, which he returned with a thankful one. “Besides, I couldn't just let you get the wrong one and let your aunt suffer; periods are bad enough as it is.”

“I think I've heard enough about periods to last me for a long time,” he said after glancing at Sun Young, probably making sure she was completely distracted so he wouldn't be on the receiving end of another of her speeches.

“I understand. Anyways, have fun at dinner.”

“Thanks, see you later.”

As awkward as the whole encounter was, I was sad that it ended. I found myself wishing very hard that he wouldn't have to go to that dinner, but of course it didn't change anything. I shouldn't be too upset, it's good for him to spend time with family, especially since he lives alone. Better his family than a girlfriend anyway.

Or was it?

I think originally the idea had bothered me simply because he was my high school crush, the proverbial “one that got away”. I really had gotten over him, and I'm pretty sure the only reason I didn't like the idea before was because it was just habit not to like the idea, to think that way about it. I figured I'd get over it once I got to know him, but now I'm not so sure.

Was I upset because I used to like him, or because I like him now?

I turned back to my friends as he left, but I couldn't help but turn back again to look out the windows at the front of the store to see him walking away, to catch one last look at him. I wasn't expecting him to be looking back at me as he walked away.