I woke up really early or I probably wasn't able to sleep properly. Kyungsoo is finally coming back today. I jumped off my bed at 5 in the morning. I was already half-way through my morning coffee by 5:15. As I sipped through the rest of my coffee, I remembered something from last night.

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After Kyungsoo and I hang up, I turned to go back in the cafe and I totally forgot that Sungjae and Inguk-sshi were still there.

"Were you...waiting for me?" I asked apologetically. They must have stood there for a long time.

"I'll keep waiting, Je-in-sshi."
"I'll keep waiting, noona."

They said the same exact words at the same time which made me chuckle a little. Their face looked so serious which made it more convincing. But they didn't flinch. They don't look like they're finding this uncanny resemblance fun.

"You must have been real twins in your past life." I said with a really bright smile. "You don't have to keep waiting. Why don't we all go together? Mira and I will just close the cafe really quick."

They didn't utter another word from their pursed lips and serious faces. Mira already did the clean-up so I just tidied the place up before closing the door. Inguk-sshi offered to give Sungjae a ride home so he won't have to take the taxi. Inguk-sshi always parks his car a few blocks from the cafe so we decided to walk with them there. Mira and I only came with our bikes today so that makes everything easier.

It was a really nice walk. It wasn't too cold and the wind felt wonderful. The sky was filled with stars and a bright moon which lit up the night sky. As we were walking, Mira asked, "What did Kyungsoo say?" Then she quickly glanced at the two men beside me who looked like they don't care one bit.

"Well, he's coming back tomorrow." I said as I smiled, staring at the sky. 

Mira just nodded in response. Silence filled the air again when Sungjae suddenly asked. 

"Is Kyungsoo hyung really special?" He asked without any hint of malice. Still, it was very brave of him to be asking that kind of question.

"Well, he is. Very special at that." I plainly replied. It was the truth. I couldn't think of a more suitable word. 

"Why?" He followed up. Still keeping his head down as he asked. 

"He's my very first friend." The memories with Kyungsoo slowly filled my head and I can't help but smile and smile again. 

"But what about Mira-sshi?" Inguk-sshi finally spoke. Sungjae looked a little grimm as Inguk-sshi took over the questioning. 

"Mira? Mira is my sister. She's family. We've been together since birth." I said as if everybody already knows that. The two guys with us looked so confused that they had to stop and look at both Mira and I again and again.

Mira decided to explain the situation before the two breaks down from a great confusion. 

"We were both brought to the orphanage when we were still babies. Je-in was brought there a year after me. We grew up together, and will always stay by each other's side. That's why we aren't just friends."

The two look really sorry. They probably pity us now. We don't like that. That's why we never tell people about our past if not necessary. The look in their eyes speaks a lot. I frowned and said, "We don't want pity. We're doing perfectly fine so there's nothing to be sorry for."

The two forced a smile and the rest of our walk was covered in utter silence.

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"I should treat those two next time. I was too sensitive." I took a sip of my coffee. Then, I felt a presence approaching. 

"Yes, you were. Those two looked more pitiful than us actually."

Mira responded as she rubbed her eyes and yawned while scratching her head. I probably woke her up because of such ruckus early in the morning. She grabbed the milk box from the fridge and directly drank from it. She sat beside me and rested her head on my shoulder with her eyes still closed.

"Are you that excited to see him?" She asked while yawning. 

"I've never missed him like this before. He was the only guy I practically know and, well, Hyunsik. But because of Sungjae and Inguk-sshi, I felt like Kyungsoo was so far away. Like he's somewhere I can't reach him."

Those were my feelings. All my life I've never thought that I'd have too many guys around me. I missed having only Kyungsoo beside me. I was, a little, suffocated by Sungjae and Inguk-sshi's presence. I'm not used to having more than three people around me.

"What will happen to you if he does go somewhere really far? Really far that there's no way to be in contact with him?"

Mira probably just asked that out of curiosity but it pierced right through me. Before I could even answer her, tears started dripping down my face. She noticed I was too quiet so she looked at me and found me in that state. She panicked. 

"Hey, hey. I was only asking." She wiped my tears. "Okay. Let's not think about that. There's probably no way Kyungsoo would leave you. Like ever. So, stop crying already." She kept wiping my tears but they just won't stop. And then, I started talking. 

"If he does leave me. I, honestly, don't know what I'm going to do. I'm scared. I don't know why, but thinking about it really scares me."

I grabbed my chest and just kept crying. Somewhere in my chest hurts. It hurts a lot. The thought lingered in my head for while and I kept crying as Mira embraced me tightly. She must have been really mad at herself for asking that but I can't pretend I'm okay when I'm not. I felt sorry, too, but my emotions got the best of me.

"Je-in, you really have to stop crying now. You know it's not good for you to get too exhausted."

She rubbed my back continuously, trying to calm me down. I started to calm down but my eyes suddenly felt really heavy. I began to feel sleepy, too. I tried to open my eyes. I could hear Mira saying my name, but her voice began drifting away. That was the last thing I remember. 

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I opened my eyes and I was in an unfamiliar place. Mira was standing beside me, holding my hand tightly in hers. She looked like she was crying for a long time. Her eyes were really puffy. She hugged me tightly as I tried to sit up. My body felt really heavy. When I finally cleared my head, I realized we were at the hospital. I figured out what might have happened.

Just then, someone came rushing in the room and ran up to me with a big hug.

"Noona! Are you alright? I was so worried."

I could feel his heartbeat racing. He must have ran all the way here. He was also sweating a lot. He looked like a mess. I felt his warmth along with every beat of his heart and with that I suddenly had difficulty breathing. I pat him trying to assure him I was alright. I held my throat trying to gasp for air. He let go thinking he might have choked me in the process.

"I'm so sorry, noona." He moved away a little. I tried to get my breathing back. He held my hand but I pushed it away. He looked hurt by what I just did but I don't want him to touch me. He stepped back one more time as I struggled for air. 

I felt really sorry but I don't know what's happening to me. First, whenever I see Inguk-sshi, I start getting hiccups and an upset stomach. Second, whenever I think of Kyungsoo leaving me, my chest starts to hurt a lot. And now, Sungjae's touch affects my breathing. Am I really sick? Am I dying?

Just as I was able to breathe again properly, Inguk-sshi arrives. But this time Mira stopped him from getting close to me. He looked worried and confused but I am not in my right mind to be dealing with him now.

"I'm really sorry. I know you're both worried but she really needs to be alone right now. I'll see you  two out and explain the situation."

As they were about to leave the room, a really pale looking man came running in like his life depended on it. He didn't say anything nor did he hesitate to approach me. He just held me very gently as he studied the whole of me. Once he made sure I was alright, he wrapped me in a very gentle embrace. I burst to tears.

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I have a complicated condition. I have an illness in which I can't over exert myself in everything I do. I was born pre-mature. I heard my mother died after giving birth to me that's why my father left me in the orphanage. He hated me. He deserted me.

I was a very sickly person since birth. I don't have any heart, lung or gastrointestinal problems which made me wonder why my chest and stomach were hurting even adding a difficulty in breathing. I have a brain problem, though, but I'm not mentally challenged. I have a condition in which I can't be exhausted in any form possible. Whenever my brain detects stress, either physically or emotionally, my body breaks down and I start feeling ill or worse, I lose all consciousness.

Why don't I want to get too involved with people? Because I'm afraid to get hurt. My body and my brain says so. I can't be too happy either, that's why I don't want too many friends. Because of those two reasons: happiness and hurt, I also don't want to love more than I need to. Love is both hurting and being happy, they are both stressful, that's why I refuse to love someone more than a friend or family.

Unless I am willing to die for someone, I really can't love them too much. I am really sick, aren't I?