a/n at the end

Jimin walks shakily to his closet and blindly chooses whatever his hand grabs first. He sighs in dismay; the t-shirt and sweatpants he pulls on does little to cover the anxiety that is radiating off him in waves. He has to take a couple deep breaths before he reaches for the handle and opens the door.

He takes his time walking towards the dim light of the living room, failing to stop his mind from conjuring a thousand scenarios of how this night could end. Taehyung is sitting on the couch, feet tucked up and chin resting on his knees. The TV is on, the volume high enough to be audible but low enough that Jimin knows Taehyung isn't really paying attention to what dances across the screen.

Taehyung glances up as he enters the room, lips forming a small smile as a soft “hey” escapes them. He hands him a warm ceramic mug which Jimin accepts gingerly, letting the heat seep into his clammy hands. Sensing his hesitation, Taehyung pats the spot next to him on the couch until Jimin reluctantly sits down. He finds that he has no reason to feel nervous though because Taehyung carefully holds his body away from touching his, ironically leaving Jimin even more space (literally and figuratively) to drown in his thoughts.

“Earth to Jiminnie,” Taehyung chuckles, pressing a warm hand on top of Jimin’s forehead. Jimin’s heart is all jumpy but his body is tired, and he suddenly feels the strong urge to curl up into Taehyung’s side.

“No fever..” Taehyung murmurs. “Maybe you’re just working yourself too hard Jimin-ah.”

“Hmm... oh.. I. Maybe...” Jimin’s reply trails off because he’s momentarily distracted by the hand that has drifted from his forehead to his cheek.

Without thinking, he leans into Taehyung’s touch, closing his eyes briefly, becoming more desperate for Taehyung’s warmth by the second. He misses the look of surprise that flashes across Taehyung’s face as his best friend fights against forbidden desire.

Taehyung swallows hard. ‘This is Jimin,’ he tells himself. ‘Jimin is sick. That’s why…’

He gives up trying to rationalize the situation after the fourth try and instead closes his eyes and takes a deep breathe to clear his mind.

Usually, he had no problem keeping up his cool pretense, the mask he often found himself wearing to hide his inner turmoil. His jaw tightens as memories flicker in the back of his mind. Jimin sprawled on top of him, mumbling Taehyung’s name; Jimin falling asleep next to him on the bus, head rolling to rest on his shoulder; Jimin crawling into his tent during a camping trip because ‘Damn, it’s so ing cold Tae, can we sleep together.’

‘Yes Jiminnie,’ ‘Sure Jiminnie,’ ‘Always, Jiminnie.’

And how many nights had it been, Jimin’s head across his chest, Jimin’s face snuggled into his side as he looked up at the ceiling and wondered if there was anything as suffocating as unrequited love.

When Jimin opens his eyes a heartbeat later, Taehyung’s are still closed. Jimin takes the time to examine Taehyung closer. A little bolder now without Taehyung’s gaze on him, Jimin unabashedly stares at his best friend’s face, taking in his dark lashes and high bridged nose all the way down to his plump lips. He can’t take his eyes away from Taehyung, washed in TV glow, chest rising and falling slightly with each breath.

Jimin doesn’t know where he gets the idea, doesn’t even contemplate if it’s a good one or not, all he does is feel. He’s still flushed from his hot shower and even warmer from the tea and Taehyung’s body heat. He’s had a long day and right now, at the cusp of sleep with his brain slowing down, he doesn’t