But Dongwoo wrest himself from Hoya's grasp. He rubbed his face with his hands. "F***ing . Everything's going to Hell," his curses were muffled by his hands but didn't stop Hoya from being surprised.

He didn't know how to respond to Dongwoo's outburst, so he just sat down next to him. After hesitating for a few seconds, Hoya finally put his hand on Dongwoo's shoulder. The other seemed to be somewhat comforted by it. "It's okay to have a bad day. Everybody does. A bit of a relapse is normal," Hoya encouraged. "Tomorrow will be better."

Dongwoo moved in with Hoya at the end of the month.  Hoya watched his new roommate explore his apartment like an explorer discovering a new world. "Woah! Look at the size of this bathroom! And this kitchen too! Looks like all new appliances. Very nice. Oh and this carpet is very soft," he ended with a giggle, playing with the carpet in between his toes.

"Uh, thanks," Hoya slowly spoke, amazed at the other's sudden change from a blubbering, cursing mess from a week ago back to his usual chipper self. He shook his head. "Your bedroom is over here," he showed him the bedroom across from his own. It used to be his study. It was small and windowless, and Hoya's books still lined the room in several bookshelves. He had barely managed to squeeze a bed and a dresser in between them (which, yes, he did recently buy for this newcomer, but he justified it because they were on sale). But the look on Dongwoo's face made it seem like it was a room fit for a king.

"It's perfect," he exclaimed as he threw his bag into the room and jumped onto his bed. Hoya just stared at him from the doorway. Dongwoo propped himself onto his elbows and looked at the other apologetically. "Thank you...for everything. I'll make this up to you as soon as I can. I'm looking for jobs, but it might take awhile. In the meantime, I can clean up around here and...I can cook too!"

Hoya nodded. "That sounds good, but I already thought of a way we can both help each other out." Dongwoo looked up at him with a confused expression. "Tomorrow, we're going to try something new."

The next afternoon, Hoya dragged Dongwoo out to the dance studio that he often practiced in with his own dance crew (Feeldog owned it). He could feel the apprehension emitting from Dongwoo as he surveyed the studio. "Hoya, do you really think I'm ready for this?"

"No," Hoya answered honestly. "But I don't think the both of us could wait any longer."

Dongwoo nodded. "You said that we both could help each other out, but what are you getting from this?"

Hoya sighed as he looked at his serious expression in the reflection of the mirrored wall. "I want to have fun again."

"YAH! Stop laughing!"

"I can't help it! You look so serious," Dongwoo sputtered in between laughs, but he soon began to control himself after seeing the hurt expression on his friend's face. He shuffled over to Hoya and put his arm around his shoulders. "You have the typical problem that most of my students have, especially those with parents who force them into dance lessons...You care what I think. You care what they think. You care what everybody thinks. You care too much! You're not in the moment. It's like in sports. The moment a batter thinks about his swing, he screws it up. Dancing's like that too. Clear your mind. Feel the moment. In fact, don't even face the mirror. Your technique is good anyway. Just...feel it." Dongwoo forcefully turned Hoya away from the mirror as he spoke gently, and quickly. Hoya nodded as his brain tried to make sense of Dongwoo's quick speech. Then Dongwoo poked a finger at each corner of Hoya's mouth and lifted them up. "And smile! It's hard to have fun when you're not smiling. It's a fact!" Then he let go of the mouth, and Hoya let it fall back down. "Or don't smile."

Hoya rubbed his face in frustration, regretting this idea, but in the back of his mind he knew that he should set himself up for criticism if he couldn't take it. Worst of all, he knew that Dongwoo was right. But now his thoughts were racing a mile a minute, and he couldn't clear his mind. He'd failed before he even started. "Alright, Woo, it's your turn. You already know what I can do. Let's see what you can do. Let's start with some simple moves."

For the next hour, Hoya would do a move, and Dongwoo would mimic it. It was odd. Even with these simple dance moves, Hoya could still see Dongwoo put his own spin onto them. It also made Hoya want to kick up his own game a notch, his competitive edge getting the better of him. He almost forgot that Dongwoo was still recovering until Dongwoo put his hand on Hoya's shoulder, putting the weight on there instead of his knee. "Let's end here," Dongwoo said, panting. Hoya should have said that, but he had forgotten his duty. He nodded, and the two of them sat in the corner, resting for a few minutes before leaving. "Hey," Dongwoo called out to him as Hoya stretched. Dongwoo reached over and poked the other in the cheek. "You're smiling," he teased. Hoya immediately frowned and bit back the smile. "What? No! It was cute."

The next month passed in a like fashion. Hoya would go to work. Dongwoo would stay in the apartment, look for jobs, run errands, cook and clean. Once Hoya came home, they would go to the dance studio. But 'helping Dongwoo recover' soon turned into 'competing against each other,' which for Hoya became 'a lot of fun.' Somehow, he felt more at ease dancing with the other than he did with his crew. He was its leader, and he felt pressured to be perfect and strict. But with Dongwoo, who was wobbling and slightly off-tempo at times, Hoya didn't feel like it would be the end of the world if he messed up. He let go of his worries. He cleared his mind. He had fun.

Hoya also began to see Dongwoo differently. Dongwoo was no longer his carefree, immature rival. What Hoya had first mistaken as innocence was really optimism. Dongwoo was well aware of the reality of the world. He didn't choose to ignore it. He accepted it more easily than Hoya did, without much of a fight. Dongwoo just chose to look at the positives, which was starting to rub off on the usually negative therapist (Hoya on the other hand, had confused his former pessimism for realism).

One day, when the two of them were walking out of the studio, a hand grabbed the back of Hoya's collar. He turned around to see Feeldog. Hoya waved at Dongwoo to continue without him before turning to his teammate. "What's up?"

Feeldog crossed his arms with a knowing smile on his face. "I've been watching you two. You work well together. You should invite him to our team."

"You've been watching us; that's creepy," Hoya teased. Feeldog narrowed his eyes on the other. Hoya sighed. "He already has his own."

Feeldog shook his head. "They already moved on without him. You've been watching the show. They're going to win, especially with that Kim Myungsoo on their team. That kid was made to be a star." Hoya nodded. He had been watching the show, religiously with Dongwoo. Dongwoo who watched them like a proud parent watching from the sidelines, calling them immediately after the show to congratulate them. But Hoya always noticed the sadness behind Dongwoo's smile, the melancholy that followed the phone call. Dongwoo wanted to be with them too, but he knew that his time with them was over.

"What if he says no?" Hoya challenged.

Feeldog scoffed. "He won't. He knows it too. You two were meant to be partners."

 Those words floated around Hoya's mind for the next three days. You two were meant to be partners, Feeldog probably didn't mean all the implications that came along with that statement, but it didn't make it any less true. Dongwoo balanced out Hoya in almost every aspect of his life. And he balanced out the other as well. He kept Dongwoo grounded and stable. Whereas Dongwoo helped Hoya to lighten up, to be more free.

Hoya had pushed those thoughts in the back of his mind for weeks. He can't like Dongwoo. He wouldn't allow himself. Not after what he had done. Besides, Dongwoo probably didn't even feel the same way. They were friends, roommates, now teammates (Dongwoo had accepted the offer to join his crew), but nothing more.

But Hoya could no longer struggle against the growing attraction he had for Dongwoo. It didn't help that the other ambled about the apartment practically , the boxers being some sort of courtesy (to be fair, Dongwoo had asked if it would be a problem for the other. Hoya said it wasn't. He lied). A part from the physical form of his roommate, Hoya was also attracted to Dongwoo's kind heart and strength. Hoya might've cared what other people thought. But Dongwoo cared about other people, the actual person. He was a man made for interacting with and helping others. And so when Sunggyu offered Dongwoo a job as a secretary for his office, Dongwoo gladly accepted.

"Isn't this great?" Dongwoo cheered. He sprung the news on the other as soon as Hoya walked through the door. "Now I can finally get out of your hair and get a place of my own again."

Hoya was shocked. "You...you don't have to move out," he answered. No words of congratulations, just fear of Dongwoo leaving him.

Dongwoo hung his head. "I know everything you've done for me. Doc Gyu said you recommended me for the job." He looked up at Hoya. "It's too much and it's about time that I start to pay you back."

"You really don't have to." After all, Hoya's intentions for helping Dongwoo weren't exactly pure. For one, he was pretty positive that he had fallen for the other, but above all he was racked with guilt.

Dongwoo nodded and bit his lip in thought. "Look," he began slowly. "I know that I'm not the best speaker, but I'm not stupid either. I know that you didn't like me before. Don't try to deny it," he cut off Hoya who opened his mouth to object. "I know. I know you. Better than you think. It's just that...I mean, I'm glad that we're friends now. Really glad. But...you've done so much for me, and I don't really understand why. You've done to much for me, even more than close friend."

"Are we not close?" Hoya interrupted, also hoping to change the subject, not willing to give Dongwoo his real answer, at least not yet.

Dongwoo's eyes widened, and he vehemently shook his head. "No, no, no. That's not what I meant. We are close. Real close. It's just that...Why?"

"Uh...um...Because..."

"Do you like me? Like more than a friend? Romantically? Because that's the only way I can make sense of this."

"Uh, yes," Hoya immediately responded. Dongwoo froze, and Hoya took this opportunity to put his heart on the line, and to take his roommate into his arms. "I like you," he said softly as he Dongwoo's back. "Don't leave. Please." But after realizing that Dongwoo was being uncharacteristically unresponsive, still. Hoya pulled back to make sure his friend didn't die of shock. It must have been weird for the other, receiving a confession from a former rival turned therapist to a roommate/dance partner.

But apparently it wasn't because as soon as Hoya pulled back, Dongwoo planted a quick and sweet kiss on his lips. Then his own lips pulled back into a broad smile. "Good. I like you too," he said back with a small giggle. He wrapped his arms around Hoya. "And I don't want to leave you. Not ever."

And Hoya closed his eyes tightly, wishing that the other truly meant that. 

If only he knew, if he knew the truth, would he still be here? Would he still hug me tightly like this? Hoya opened his eyes and looked at his apartment door. Or will he go out that door?

His thoughts were derailed by a happy hum passing through Dongwoo's lips. Deep in his mind, Hoya knew that Dongwoo with his soft heart would forgive him. And that made Hoya feel even more guilty. He'll tell him one day, but for now, he wanted to relish in the feeling of Dongwoo's body flushed against his, and the feeling of Dongwoo's lips once again latched onto his own, the feeling of his own love being returned to him.

If only he knew.

A year earlier.

Hoya drank more than he should have, more than anyone should ever drink really. And he wasn't exactly the kindest person when he drank, especially not on that day. His crew was floundering because he couldn't clear his mind. They had a big competition coming up, and they were set up to lose, especially with Dongwoo's crew progressively getting better and better. Hoya tried to empty his mind, but he couldn't. His friend, YoonJae, whom he harbored a heartbreaking crush for, was getting married the next day, and he was going to be the best man. In less than 24 hours he was going to be standing at the altar besides the man he loved, in an uncomfortable tux and tight shoes, to give him away to a girl he had introduced him to a short year earlier. 

He knew deep down that Yoonjae would never return his affections. Yoonjae was straight after all. But it didn't make his heart hurt any less. It was breaking into tiny little pieces, and so he decided to break the face of the short, stocky man in front of him now.

To be fair, Hoya had told the little punk several times that he wasn't in the mood to joke around. But the stranger kept prodding, provoking him, asking why he was crying in his scotch like a little girl, was he 'some kind of fruit cake.' And Hoya lost it at that point, hitting him harder and more than he should have.

The punk stood up on his feet faltering, wiping the blood dripping from his nose. "You, you're going to regret this! I've got friends...dangerous friends. Tell me your name."

The name fell from his lips. His drunken mind concocting a solution to one of his problems. "Dongwoo...Jang Dongwoo. And tell your friends to come and find me. I'll be ready," he challenged as he spat on the other before he left.

And the next day, he heard that Dongwoo had ended up in the hospital, beaten up to a pulp after being cornered by a gang in an alley on his way home. They had called it a random act of violence, but Hoya knew the truth. He felt the guilt.

And his crew had won the competition, but for the first time in Hoya's life, the victory didn't taste sweet. It left a bitter taste in his mouth.