I hate the fact that I cannot throw a fit to anyone, not even to my wife. I hate the reality that is knocking on my heart at this moment. Shinhye is sitting so quietly in our couch and at this moment I know for sure that my embrace won’t be enough to convince her.

At this moment, all the things I want to do with her seem to be worthless. And I hate the mere fact that I cannot cry with her. I must not let her see me break down.

“What will I do now?” Her voice is trembling. “I know this will not be the last.”

“What we will do now? That should be your question.” I sat beside her. “What happened? Can you remember?” I slowly patted her head.

“I don’t.” She bit her lip. “All I can recall was when Jana found me.”

“Thank God Jana found you. I don’t know what to do the time that you are not home.” This time I hugged her tightly. “I am so scared. I know that I shouldn’t let my fears run to you but maybe this will work for you to remember me.” I kissed her forehead. “You should always think of me.” I tried to smile.

“I am sorry for today. Maybe I was so happy for us having a normal day, I was so overwhelmed that I forgot to be cautious.” Shinhye looked at me with her lonely warm eyes. 

“I will take some vacation leave starting tomorrow. I cannot afford to lose you on my sight again.” I commanded.

Her expression seems to be opposing what I just said but I know she is aware that this is for the better. Finally, she nodded. “I’m sorry at this rate we will just eat the left over breads I baked this morning.” She got up and made herself to the kitchen.

I grinned and grabbed her hand. “I’m glad that you didn’t forget it.”

“Are you trying to annoy me?” She smiled back.

“No, I just feel that you still owe me a good dinner next time.” I gave her the flowers I bought. “White Camellias.” 

Her response was so magical. Shinhye liked it very much. “Does this mean that you adore me so much?”

She got it. Yeoreum, the florist said that is the meaning. “I see, you know flowers.”

“Of course, my Mom’s friend used to teach me about flowers when I was a child.” She said lowly. “My childhood memories are so vivid, too bad those memories are the one remains.”

“Would that be amazing?” I tried to lift her mood. “At least you can recall the times with your Mom and Dad.”

“You’re right.” She smiled. “But, it would be more amazing if I can recall our memories in the future.”

“I am sure that you will, I hope.” I smiled at her and sit beside her with our dinner. This day has been a long, bittersweet day for us and I cannot wait to lay my body together with her. Maybe for now, we just need time to breathe and to think what to do tomorrow.