Hye keeps walking back and in forth beside me in the line.

In a moment we will going to aboard. She seems uneasy and starting to clench her fingers – and I don’t even know why she is doing that. I grabbed her arm and looked at her. “What is it, Hye? Let me help you.”

“No, it’s nothing.” She smiled. “There, we can go now.”

I just gave her a calm nod. I am extending a helping hand to her but this is her defense mechanism – telling everything is all right. I don’t have an issue with this because I don’t know what she is exactly feeling now. Hye held my hand very tight as we go to our seats. Once again, I am not sure if this is her response to my question. I am not the type of person who tends to read between feelings but if it going to this case with Hye, I need to be more considerate and sensitive.

Starting from now, I need to answer my own question with every touch and glance she will reach on to me. I responded to her by kissing her hand. “Are you excited?” I just blurted out.

“Not really.” She replied as she lay down her head on my shoulder.

“Take a nap, I will take over.” I caressed her hair.

***

We are on our way to Doctor Shin after dropping our suitcases to the hotel. Once again Hye seems not in a good condition, I am asking her what is it but still she won’t tell me the real deal.

“I won’t get mad even you don’t tell me what it is bothering you right now. But I would appreciate it if you will be honest to me. Do you want me to cancel our appointment?” I said calmly. “You know there is no problem with that. I will do what you want.”

She bit her lip. “I-I..”

“Hmm?”

“I am into this, Yonghwa. Believe me.”

“Then? What is it?”

She looked at me.  “I’m scared.” Hye keeps clenching her fingers inside her scarf. “Not with the appointment.”

I did not say a word.

“At the airport, at one second I don’t remember why I am there or what we will do here.” Her voice is cracking. “I just figured it out it again when you said about the appointment when we are at the hotel.”

Now, I can’t say a word. It is not that I don’t experience this scenario. It is not that I am not aware of every situation. I know this than anybody else. But damn,