I love you, Taeil.

The words I never said out loud to you, I never dared to say them aloud and I never will.

And I know you feel the same about me. 

The painfully throbbing heart when we see each other, look in each others eyes. 

The breathing, that suddenly feels so heavy when we get too close. 

The sleepless nights of angst, loneliness and many tears.

I know you feel them too.

I can see it when you stare at me, your eyes shining in the most beautiful way.

I can see it when you start to tremble the moment my hands touch your smaller ones.

I can see it when you let me hear that gorgeous laugh of yours, whenever I make a terrible joke.

But mostly I see it when you are trying not to cry.

Do you remember that cold winter day at my studio?

Everybody left and we were all alone, we even had some drinks.

And suddenly I touched your face and you smiled at me lovingly.

We got so close, so close, feeling each other breaths.

We kissed.

It was only a moment.

And you smiled.

Only a short moment.

Then your face got sad and you looked so afraid.

So afraid…

You turned around - you wanted to hide you tears, that kept falling down your soft skin.

You left me standing there and you didn’t come back.

It still hurts.

Now you’ll never touch me and I never touch you.

We always keep our distance. 

It’s a mute agreement, a secret and the most painful one I ever had.

It will never be Lee Taeil and Woo Jiho.

It will never be Taeil and Zico.

But I still love you.

And you still love me.

Maybe one day I can forget.

I wish I could so I wont have to cry anymore.

You’ll never see me cry, but my heart does in silence.

Not every story has a happy ending.

And our story wont have one either.

But maybe one day I can touch you again and you wont be afraid anymore.

Maybe one day neither of us has to hold back their tears.

We will never be happy, but we can try to be less miserable.

Until then let me be your strength.

Only a bit.

Because I love you, Taeil.

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It's a little angsty, isn't it? I thought in between all those fluffy ones I nedded a serious one shot ^___^

I hope you liked it anyway and aren't too hurt  >___< I am kind off xD

Also I have a tumblr ask box now, so please leave questions, comments, requests or criticism :

http://toni-daboom.tumblr.com/ask

thank you for reading!!! ♡