Being the maknae of an idol group was tough. Most likely you wouldn’t get many lines, you would be dancing in the back most of the time and wouldn’t really be that popular with the fans. Sanghyuk knew all this when he decided to take part in the tv reality show Mydol. He really wanted to become an idol and worked hard to make it into the group.

When the members of the group VIXX were chosen, he had hoped that he wouldn’t be the youngest of the group. Unfortunately, he was.

In the beginning he was a bit scared for the older members, especially the two oldest. He just didn’t know how to associate with them. As time passed he became closer to the other members and began to enjoy their company more and more.

Even though, he became closer with the others. That didn’t mean being the youngest wasn’t tough anymore. Of course it made it a bit easier to deal with and there always was someone to go to when he needed to talk. But still it was hard to keep on smiling and pretend to do the amiable. Always getting scolded by dance teachers and producers that he didn’t do the move right or didn’t hit that note the way he should have. Also the fact he was still a student didn’t really help either.

Sanghyuk tried his best to just pretend everything was alright. He began to wear a mask, only keeping his emotions to himself. However, sometimes this mask would fall off when it all became to much to handle. When it was too much he would lock himself up in the bathroom, with the excuse he is going to take a shower. There he would cry as long as needed before he is able to face the others.

Of course the other members knew when something wasn’t right and would ask if something was bothering him. Sometimes he would tell his hyungs what was wrong, but there were times he wouldn’t because he didn’t wanted to bother them with his problems while they are very busy.

Sanghyuk’s last break down was around the time they promoted Eternity. For the preparations he needed to work really hard since he had more lines to sing. All those weeks of practicing, recording and school really took all of his energy. He was tired and dealing with stress became harder every single day. When they finally had their comeback with Eternity he was really happy of the results of the mv and really enjoyed to perform with the others on music shows. Performing in music shows and seeing the fans showed him that all those hard times were worth it.

However when the comments came that some fans were angry because their “Leo-Oppa” didn’t had that many lines and that some of Sanghyuk’s lines should be given to the oldest main vocal broke him. He was so glad that he finally had more than just one line to sing, thanks to Taekwoon who gave up on most of his lines with the excuse his voice can’t take it to sing a lot of lines in Eternity and sing a lot in the musical he took part in. Eventually those comments stopped and he was able to go on with his life as an idol without those breakdowns that he was worthless, not good enough and that no one likes him.

Up until now, some weeks before the recordings for their Chained Up album, he was able to do his things without feeling like crying. He still got comments from the hired staff that he did things wrong and should work harder than he already did, but he was able to just deal with it and push all the negative thoughts away.

Keeping to pretend to do de amiable, Sanghyuk thought that he had fooled s by making it seem he was totally fine. However one of them knew for sure that what he was seeing was just a broken boy behind a mask.

Wonsik was one of the members Sanghyuk would go to when something was bothering him. Because of that Wonsik was able to read the youngest. He could just look right through that fake smile Sanghyuk wore all the time. He knew that his dongsaeng was struggling with himself and he wanted to do something to make him feel better.

A week passed by and Sanghyuk still struggled with himself, he was afraid he would let the members down. He was upset because he would get around four lines to sing for the upcoming title track Chained Up.

One evening they all were watching a movie, but Sanghyuk didn’t really paid any attention. Instead the thoughts of everything that could go wrong got the best of him. He stood up and excused himself, telling the others he was tired and went to bed. They all wished him a good night before Sanghyuk walked of to his and Wonsik’s shared room.

When he walked into the room he spotted something with a sticky note on his pillow. He picked it up and came to the conclusion that it was an MP3 player. He then read the note that says “Listen”. He took the note from the device and put the earbuds into his ears before turning the MP3 on.

“Heaven…” Sanghyuk whispered the name of the only song on the MP3 player to himself.

He pressed play.

“Eden, Vuela, Amor.” He heard Wonsik say those words before the melody of the song began to play followed by Wonsik’s voice singing the next lines of the intro. Sanghyuk wondered if this song was a demo. Wonsik always sang the demo’s of his own composed songs.

“I know, I know how you feel. It’s not easy to smile all the time.”

The first line of the couplet hit Sanghyuk right in the heart. It was like reality just got smashed into his face. Tears start to form in the corners of his eyes.

“You know, your sorrowful tears will definitely blossom for you one day.”

Sanghyuk continues to listen to the song while crying in silence. He didn't want the others to hear it and make them worry. However it was when the bridge came when he couldn't hold himself in anymore.

“No more cry, you’re too precious to spill any tears. Please don’t cry, I’ll protect that pretty smile of yours” Those where the lines that made him throw all the sadness, pain, stress and loneliness out in a form of crying.

There was no doubt the others wouldn't hear him cry his heart out. Everyone, except for Wonsik, looked at each other in shock. Wonsik already knew what the reason is that their dongsaeng is crying. Actually he had hoped for a reaction like this. Sanghyuk always bottled his feelings up, so a good crying would make him feel better in the end.

Before the others would barge into the room, Wonsik explained why the youngest was crying and told them they should go to him slowly so they won't overwhelm Sanghyuk.

The others nodded and followed Wonsik to the room. He slowly opened the door of the room and walked in, followed by the others. They waited for Sanghyuk to calm down himself, they didn't wanted him to force himself to stop because he doesn't want to worry them.

When Sanghyuk calmed down he noticed the others in the room. He looked at them with red puffy eyes, his cheeks were still wet of the recent crying and he was holding the mp3 player like his life depended on it.

His hyungs all took a seat on his bed and wrapped their arms around him, causing Sanghyuk to cry once again. Even though Sanghyuk hated it to be seen so vulnerable, he loved to see how much his hyungs loves and cares for him.