Sitting, idle sitting and waiting. My whole body is numb, my thoughts are shallow and my probably will fall off soon. But I don’t care. I can’t move, I can’t leave. Not until…

But maybe I should start from the beginning. Since I had nothing else to do, as for now, I can as well write it down, word by word, happening after happening.

After searching for my Yoseob for over week without any results, we’ve become so exhausted it was almost impossible to continue. Hyunseung and Dongwoon from time to time were mentioning something about going back to others but in those moments I was pretending I can’t hear or when they had some more serious objections I was just leaving them for a moment. Besides I told them many times they can resign and come back anytime they feel like it, but I won’t, without Yoseob.

That day, after serious quarrel, we had to meet another people who had some information for us. I don’t know how they knew where to find us but I guess Doojoon always played a big part in that quest. They gave us directions to the old abandoned manor which was property of some influential person with fishy connections.

As soon as we’ve found ourselves inside we knew, coming there was a right choice. Immediately we’ve got surrounded by dark, dull shapes of our enemies. They didn’t seem to notice that we weren’t like before. We had light and the will of all our allies passed on us. That was unimaginable power and we could use it as we wished. And we didn’t intend to linger. In a matter of few minutes we’ve killed everyone… We had to kill them, we had no other choice! Well, at least those devilish parts of them. I can’t tell what exactly happened with their bodies afterwards, as I had more important concerns. Namely we still hadn’t got our Yoseob back. And it took a lot more time then expected before we’ve finally found a secret passing between floors.

I almost pushed Dongwoon and Hyunseung first to see if it really was the place, they’ve been keeping Yoseob in, for that whole time. I was too scared to see him there, too afraid that we were too late. But they only looked at me meaningfully and with big troubled sigh I dragged myself in. He was my responsibility until the end, no matter happy or not.

I stepped slowly into disgusting humid and cold room. The only light there was from the cracks in the corners of the walls and the ceiling but they were big enough to create dark but visible view.

He was there. His once white shirt cut him sharp from a bare stone table he was lying at. And he didn’t move, what scared me even more. I tried to run to him to do something but my body wasn’t listening to me, I just could stand there looking at his shape.

“You came for me.” We’ve heard his fragile voice barely resounding in completely silent room. “But I’m dying, Junhyung. It’s too late.” For the second time I’ve heard his voice filling my whole head and body. That shook me so tremendously I finally started to think straight again. I couldn’t let him die now, the fear in me disappeared.

In a split of a second I was standing at his side. The sight of his maltreated body only caused my anger to arise. What they had to do to him to make his small arms and neck cut like that!? Why that trickle of blood running from his mouth on his jawbone and ear?

“Do you have something broken? Can you move your fingers? Is it okay for me to carry you?”

I was asking questions not really waiting for answers while checking on his body if he haven’t had other injuries.

“I’m not alive anymore. I’ve waited only for you to say goodbye.”

His ridiculous statement made me even more enraged.

“Shut up!” I’ve shouted desperately. His calm face didn’t move an inch and his opened eyes were so still.

I’ve grabbed shirt on his chest and realizing how cold it was I felt something wet running down my cheeks.

“Don’t cry, Junnie.” He said that so softly as if it was me who were suffering the most there. But it was only him.

He slowly raised his arm and touched my face, trying to wipe that strange liquid. And it was too much. My legs refused to cooperate and I fell on my knees burying my head in his chest. I’ve heard his heart, slowly, but still beating so I embraced his body trying to warm him with my own heat. Risking a bit I tried to carry him up. It came to me that he shouldn’t be lying on that cold stone even second longer. Fortunately nothing worse happened to him, he was only terribly drained.

Still carrying him in my arms I led us outside of that damned building and soon we received proper help from people that showed us that place earlier.

Until we came back to our new campus Yoseob was almost all of the time asleep, and he stayed like that for few more days. And he is still sleeping…

It’s not that he doesn’t wake up at all. He does. But right after he eats something or go to toilet he falls asleep again for long hours. And I’m forced to sit by his side all the time. What if he wakes up and there’s no one to help? So I’m here, but I hope it won’t last forever. It can’t, right?