I would never imagine so many things can happen in just few days. I can say it for sure, I’m quite a different person now.

Since I can always remember I was always alone. The only child, lost my parents very soon, don’t know any other relatives. In school always tried to stay on the side, never had need to get close to anyone, identifying with no one. Under some strange circumstances I got to know some ritual martial arts. Of course I didn’t have any idea, that it was something like that. For me it was just a dance. When I realized that  behind every move there’s a different meaning, it was too late to stop.

When I joined Cube I thought that I won’t have to use my skills in any other way than before, namely, to performing. But I was so terribly wrong.

After we finally left our ‘dear’ country everyone, for the first time in a while, breathed deeply, relieved. Even for a split of a second no one suspected that it’s just the beginning of our true troubles.

It turned out that, after all, we had some protection in our borders. There were always people who supported us and tried to sabotage actions of officials. With the moment we crossed the borders we’ve lost that protection. And almost immediately we’ve received signals that we’ve been tracked. Everyone gathered to decide what we were suppose to do next but not everyone liked results. Including mainly me.

The plan was quite simple. Dongwoon, Hyunseung and elders were assigned to help everyone to escape safely while Yoseob had to slow/stop the chase. With mine, Doo’s and Kikwang’s help. Since every detail was deliberated and refined evacuation went really smoothly and quickly enough for enemies not to discover anything. And the four of us have stayed alone for long hours, in a place that was suppose to be our asylum. In complete silence.

Neither one of us noticed when they’ve showed up. They were like wind, dark shapes in the shadows. It was a matter of few seconds for us to notice their stiff moves and empty eyes. They had no hearts and Yoseob’s power couldn’t work against them. We didn’t even had a chance to get closer or react anyhow, as it took only another few seconds for them to surround Yoseob with guns loaded straight into his head. No one dared to move as they were bonding his hands and covering his eyes with a band. When they tied him enough so he couldn’t escape, they turned to us. I looked at Doojoon and Kikwang to make sure, we think about  the same. Yes, they also didn’t plan to let go of him easily.

But everything is just and that was. So the moment we decided to act our part they did something to Yoseob and he just fell on the ground. And for the first time I heard his real voice. The one that everyone else, but me, could hear until then. It was loud and clear as if he was standing beside me or inside… I remember his words precisely and most likely I will never forget them.

“They only want me. Go away. Forget. They won’t follow you.”

It wasn’t just words that made me to do so. I felt every tiny sound of his voice in my whole body. My every cell felt that calm order that came from it and had no other choice but to obey. There wasn’t even tiny space for objection. Although I tried to fight it. I wouldn’t be myself I didn’t try. But it was no use. With his strong “Run!” inside of my head something broke in me and I had no power to oppose to him. I was willing to do everything he asks me. Even if it would be my death… or abandoning him.

I felt something strange crawling into my heart and I couldn’t stop it. I was scared. Fear, I probably never felt before or it was so long ago, I can’t even remember, overwhelmed me and my feet slowly started to move in opposite direction that I wanted. I looked around to check what Kikwang and Doojoon were doing but they were already watching us from afar with sad eyes. I understood they expected me to do something, they were hoping I save Yoseob. But when they saw me withdrawing they gave up as well and walked away. And I followed them even more crushed. I failed.

We are safe… but Yoseob is gone.

I don’t really remember what happened in the next few days. Probably I wasn’t thinking then. At least not straight. Sudden loss of his presence in my living space was too much to bear. I couldn’t eat, sleep, talk. I wasn’t able to stop worrying about him, to stop needing him and to search for him.

Everyone else left already that unlucky country and probably are heading to the last destination, our future home, I hope. Doojoon is still at the helm, though I know if only he could he would search throughout the whole world just to find Yoseob. But he can’t do that. Before everything else he is a leader, a good one indeed, friendship comes next.

But I am anything like him and he knows he can’t stop me. And I’m really thankful he not only never tried, but gave me also Dongwoon and Hyunseung to help.

We’ve combed out quite huge area near the border so far. Thanks to many great people we could also cross back to our ex-country and search there. But there were even less signs for anyone’s presence so we came back again and tried to widen investigated area. Tomorrow with some people we will go to search out new places. And if it won’t help we will go further.

Strange feeling inside of my chest and mind doesn’t stop even for a moment. I’m afraid we won’t be able to find Yoseob. But I won’t ever give up on him.