Day 311
Somewhere Along the WaySo... how did I survive all of that?
Well it wasn't easy, I'll tell you that. Even after I thought I had moved on from Soonyoung, after seeing that specific scene play out right in front of me, I realized that I was not yet there. Yes, I was depressed for quite a while after that happened. The scene kept playing out in my head. The way they interacted, their skinship, just them together. And they tortured me even more for the following weeks. Since Soonyoung and I had classes together, I often saw him. And what do you know, I also saw that mutual friend with him. I never bothered to remember her name. She was more like an acquaintance honestly. A very clingy one. Each time I saw them, Soonyoung would initiate skinship with her. It made my blood boil and my heart break but I had to toughen my skin.
Soon enough, I grew used to that too. I grew immune to the immature games that Soonyoung was trying to play. I was just done. I had reached the bottom point. I was so tired of feeling depressed. So tired of feeling alone. I was just so sick of it all. I decided to take extra steps in assuring that I move on for good. My goal was that at the end of my process, I would be able to look at him, whether he was single or not, and not give a damn.
Did it work?
Yes. Yes it did work. And I am extremely proud of myself. This is where I am now. I have gone through all the phases of post-breakup. And now I am back at the height of happiness. I love life again. I no longer have dark thoughts about ending my life. I am finally, truly happy.
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