I dedicate this chapter to KhElLy17

JESSICA’S POV

It was almost a year since I wasn’t part of SNSD anymore, it was sad and it pains me a lot but sometimes I just tell myself that it was for good, for me and for the group. Like right now that their sales of album is so high just because I wasn’t there anymore. I was happy for them still deep inside it hurts a lot that their doing well without me.

I won’t deny that I was jealous that they still can sing and perform because they are SNSD, the nation girl group that I was a part once for seven years. When I heard their new song like now I can’t prevent myself to cry because I hope I’m still part of that group reaching the top.

SM and I already agreed to end our contract with each other, it was a mutual decision and they can’t sue me because they are the ones that not want me to the group. Actually I can sue them for kicking me out the group but I decided not to because it will just cause chaos in both parties and I don’t want SNSD to be affected by that.

“Unnie, you’re crying again, I told you to stop listening to that CD, you even buy so many just to support them, unnie stop hurting yourself already.” Krystal said and sat next to me, she hug me side ways

“I’m sorry Krys you need to see me like this often.” I said while sobbing on her shoulder.

“Unnie, please stop this. You need to bury this in the past for you to start a new, don’t let your dreams take away from you.” She said

“I don’t know what to do anymore Krys.” I said and my tears just continue to pour there

“First unnie you need to stop doing this, stop crying for them because they don’t deserve it and accept the contract YG is offering you.” She wipes my tears away

“Do you think it was a right decision to be at YG?”

“Yes unnie, you deserve to sing and perform again, just accept it, okay?” She gives me an encouraging smile

“Thank you Soojung ah for not leaving my side.”

“You’re my only sister and I’ll never leave your side like they did.”

“Krys, stop blaming them, arrasso?”

“You’re such a kind person unnie, they kick you out but still you defend them.”

“They didn’t kick me out but the company did, so stop getting mad at them.” I said to her

“But they didn’t protest, right? It was like agreeing right?”

“Soojung ah….”

“Unnie they doesn’t deserve your love.” She said and hugs me tightly

Actually I wasn’t mad at them especially on her because I know she did what they have to be done. They told me what happen that day the upper position call them for a meeting and I know I also lack on some of my responsibilities on the group since my company got busy after launching. Yoona told me about her agreeing on the company about my situation, how they didn’t have a time to protest because the leader already decides for them.

I understand her situation because she was in love with Tiff that I know is in love with me, Tiff may never confess but I’m not that dense, I know I’m hurting her at all but I can’t do anything about it because I was in love with Taengoo. I want to love someone else like Tiff but my heart doesn’t obey me, she keeps beating and always beating for one person, KIM TAEYEON.

SNSD kid leader, we’re inseparable since we’re trainee, and I fell for her when I first had a real conversation with her after three weeks since she came to SM. I find her cute when she defended her roommate Tiff that time. I didn’t think that she already had a crush on Tiff, that’s why she defended her when I said she’s annoying.

I really find Tiff annoying before because she always talk and talk and talk without a pause, she asking question and being friendly to everyone. I know she just wants to understand everything here in Korea before and I was the only there who can understand her. But because I didn’t want people feeling close to me I got annoy but eventually I learned to be used to her and we became best of friends like Taengoo and I before.

I shouldn’t have confessed to her that night