(Song: "She Keeps Me Warm" - Mary Lambert https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhqH-r7Xj0E)

 

 

 

 

“Hey.” A hand gives her shoulder a few gentle taps then a shake. “Time to wake up.”

 

 

Even her brain is still buffering, she giggles with her eyes squinting, thinking of a certain memory, or, a dream. “Hmm.”

 

 

“What so funny?” Wendy’s eyebrows are probably cocked to her forehead high. Irene knows it without looking. An expressive person she is.

 

 

“I love you.” She murmurs with a throaty voice and turns to look at the girl towering her by the bed. A smile plastered on her tired face as she sees that set of pajamas.

 

 

 

Wendy huffs several times before chuckling and throwing Irene her own set of clothes, “You’re random. And here, get dressed. Not in the mood of seeing your before breakfast.”

 

 

“Hey!” Feeling offended, the older girl bolts up and doesn’t bother to cover her glory with the covers, or picking up the clothes her girlfriend just threw onto her face. “Don’t you at least have to say, ‘I love you too’ to greet me in a morning like this?”

 

 

“Oh.” The younger pursues her lips and folds her arms. “I thought we have long passed that stage, Joohyun. It has been a while, hasn’t it?”

 

 

A rush of guilt gushes through Irene’s skin all the way to her face, as her mind is brought to a less distant past, “Seungwan, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

 

 

 

“No, I understand that perfectly.” She flashes her a quick smile and her hands are now hanging loosely on her sides. “You made me feel a lot better last night and the “I love you” a minute ago.” 

 

 

She slowly puts on the clothes one by one, “I didn’t mean to hesitate. I was not prepared when they asked me that.” She knows she shouldn’t resent her parents because of yesterday. Still, it’s technically their second time nearly ruining their relationship.

 

 

Wendy casts her glance at the white bed sheets, “Sure. Either did I.”

 

 

“My parents were just asking…...” Irene tries to smoothen the wrinkles on her shirt and catches the scent of fabric softener. “We all know it’s been some time and it’s-”

 

 

She cuts her off again, rather quietly this time, “2 years.” 

 

 

“Yes, 2 years.” She repeats in a firmer tone since she too counts the dates carefully. She keeps herself in mind every day that what could have happened in a few years later if she ever thinks and acts stupid again. 

 

 

 

“Is 2 years long or short for you then?”

 

 

“It’s the longest relationship I’ve ever had but yeah…... it’s short.”

 

 

“Tell me Bae Joohyun. What do you want really?” Wendy reaches out a hand to cup her cheek, forcing her to meet her eyes.

 

 

Irene’s lips curve into a smile but it doesn’t reach her eyes, “You.”

 

 

 

Hearing the bold confession, the young brunette doesn’t mutter a word but lays down beside her girlfriend. Therefore the older girl snuggles closer and circles her arms around her waist.

 

 

They stay like that under the warm sunlight showering down, looking deep into each other’s eyes. Perhaps words are not necessary if you’re that in love. 

 

 

“You know what.” The linguist chuckles softly grazing her fingers on the other girl’s arm. “I should be the one who says sorry.” 

 

 

“Does it matter now?” She encloses her with a hug. Call her clingy, she would more than willing to admit that when it comes to someone she loves. She knows she could be stupid when it comes to words. So she always expresses her feelings through actions.

 

 

 

I want you to stay. 

 

 

“She says I smell like safety and home,

I named both of her eyes "Forever" and "Please don't go”.

I could be a morning sunrise all the time, all the time yeah,

This could be good, this could be good.”

 

 

 

Bae Joohyun finally brought her special someone to meet her parents yesterday. They were more accepting than “before”. It’s probably because their daughter herself is more confident about their relationship and they all could see how she has changed for good after meeting this trustworthy girl called Wendy Son Seungwan.

 

 

Still, something happened. It was not actually a perfect timing. The couple just had a fight the day before. It was not exactly Wendy’s fault but Irene was a bit mad because of that.

 

 

The two both know Wendy was once religious since her elementary and middle schools were Christian, and so she got conservative friends. The Canadian has later decided not to have any religious belief when she learned more about other religions and different ideologies in college. 

 

 

Yet as a kind girl she was born to be, she still keeps in touch with those friends whenever she has the leisure to. And she doesn’t lie about her latest relationship with a girl. It went quite ugly at their recent gathering.

 

 

 

Wendy undoubtedly has an intellectual mind, that makes her harder to be shaken and talked down. However, she actually minds how her friends have been degrading the love between her and Irene. 

 

 

“It’s not natural.” 

 

 

“It doesn’t last long.”

 

 

“It’s just a phrase, isn’t it? I’m sure you didn’t like girls back then.”

 

 

“Did some guy hurt you? Trust me, there are better guys out there.”

 

 

 

“I thought God is all-loving.” She spoke up in the middle of the gibberish. “I thought we are all His children or else why he made us…... or me?”

 

 

Then she left and cut her contact with them. She was disappointed.  

 

 

On her flight back to Seoul, Wendy somehow kept thinking about that gibberish although she knew it’s just judgmental. She even kept zoning out when she was with Irene. The latter started to sense something wrong and probed. Wendy would never lie to her so she told her everything, and blurted something she shouldn’t.

 

 

 

“I know your assistant, Bogum, has feelings for you. Have you ever considered him? How do you see him?”

 

 

“Do you know what you’re talking about, Seungwan?” She turned around abruptly and only saw Wendy blankly looking at the stoves. 

 

 

“You know how he looks at you. You do. But you still keep him around.” She was supposed to cook her things to eat. 

 

 

“Snap out of it, goddamn it! What’s wrong with you?” Irene dashed to her side and raised her voice at her face, trying to shout some sense out of Son Seungwan.

 

 

 

“Yes, something’s wrong with me. But I don’t know what it is. Can you tell me?” She tardily looked up and her face had never been that exhausted.

 

 

It was just not the Wendy she knew. “You are losing faith, aren’t you? Why do you have to listen to that bull? Does it really matter how they see us? Can’t you prove them wrong?”

 

 

Isn’t this what you said to me - I know someone or something would break us apart some day. Just like your parents. But we can prove them wrong. Please don’t give up, Joohyun. I won’t give up, only if, you don’t love me anymore. 

 

 

 

“It’s not that I don’t trust you” Wendy closed her eyes. “I don’t trust myself.”

 

 

“You have me.” Irene took her hands. “I trust you.”

 

 

“I’m scared.”

 

 

“I’m here. You know it.”

 

 

 

Irene then noticed Wendy had so many things hidden within her. And indeed the reason why she was mad is not solely because of her dear Seungwan. It reminds her the very fact that she was the coward who left Wendy alone after so many years for the very same reason. She too understands how hard it is to face those s. 

 

 

She lost faith once. And she’s not going to repeat the same mistake.

 

 

It went pretty awkward when their parents asked if they would get married. Irene thought Wendy still needed the time to overcome their fight so she hesitated while trying to steal a glance or two at her reaction first. Again, her sensitive little Seungwan misunderstood it. They spent the rest of the day confronting and arguing. 

 

 

They reconciled as Irene brought up about Seulgi and Joy, who are living happily together and give no s to the others. The youngest has moved back to Seoul after completing her study in Tokyo, and since then, the bear is the happiest animal on this earth. Of course, also thanks to the wise Bae Joohyun who have foreseen their sad ending. 

 

 

 

“Joohyun, I love you too.”

 

 

Wendy agrees that language has its limits, so she kisses the girl she loves.

 

 

 

“I'm not crying on Sundays,

Love is patient, love is kind.”

 

 

 

Irene almost smiles instantly, against another pair of warm lips. “I wanna tell you something by the way.”

 

 

“Say it.” Seungwan continues to stare at her face lovingly.

 

 

“I talked to Bogum and he'd leave his post at the end of this month.” 

 

 

“Oh…... You don’t have to do that if it’s because of what I said.”

 

 

 

“Seungwan-ah,” She leans in so that their foreheads touch, “He does like me and it’d be better if we stop working together.”

 

 

“I…...” She diverts her gaze down.

 

 

“You should see the way I look at you too.” Irene shows a lopsided grin at a timid linguist. “I look at only you in that way.”

 

 

“Why do you love me so much anyway?” Wendy flashes her a smile too.

 

 

 

She chirps, “That’s the second thing I wanna tell you.”

 

 

She tilts her head in confusion, “Huh?”

 

 

 

Bae Joohyun tenderly caresses Son Seungwan’s brown hair, “Let me tell you a story, no?”

 

 

“What kind of story? That fairy tale again ?” The linguist frowns and squirms a little in that tight embrace.

 

 

“Not 'Neverwhere'.” She giggles with the mention of her favorite nontypical fairytale that consists no prince at all. “So listen. Once upon a time, there is a snowman living up on a hill. One day she goes down and meet a winter cabbage-”

 

 

“Wait.” She has to stop for her because it sounds weird. “Are the characters implying us?”

 

 

“Don’t interrupt me. Listen ’til the end, would you?”

 

 

“Alright. Carry on.”

 

 

Irene uses her thumb to smoothen the crease between Wendy’s bushy brows, “They meet at the village meeting and fall in love with each other although they aren’t supposed to….. ”

 

 

 

“She says that people stare 'cause we look so good together.”

 

 

 

“The winter cabbage eventually can’t stand the hurtful gossips around them and break up with the snowman for a fuller life. The snowman complies, because it loves the cabbage so so much. So much that it would never break its promises even though it hurts. The cabbage goes on to date with another cabbage and have babies. Although the snowman is the one she truly loves. It knows it’s selfish but......”

 

 

“The snowman has promised the cabbage that it would stay in its life no matter what; that it would let go if it falls out of love. So it goes back up the hill and stays there for the rest of its life, with the cabbage in its heart as always. The only one time the snowman comes back down is when the cabbage dies. They finally meet again when it’s the cabbage’s funeral, but they could no longer look into each other's eyes. The snowman still doesn’t regret loving this winter cabbage, but it doesn’t know it’s the same for the cabbage…...”

 

 

“That the snowman is the cabbage’s biggest regret. And it only wants to start it all over again, to love it all over again.” Irene takes a deep breath as the story ends. 

 

 

“Woah.” Wendy’s jaw drops. It sounds childish but there’s meaning in it. “What an impressive story, Joohyun-ah.”

 

 

 

“And you, you’re not going to be my biggest regret.” She playfully pinches her cheek. 

 

 

Not again. We’ll make it right this time.

 

 

 

Son Seungwan rests her chin on the crown of the older girl’s head and plants another kiss there, “I’ll kill your husband if you happen to be the cabbage.”

 

 

“I won’t be that stupid to let you go.” Irene nips her bottom lip. “And I promise you, I’ll always stay, as a part of your life.”

 

 

It’s the same promise you made to me. Now I promise you the same.

 

 

“I promise you too.” Wendy lets out an adorable chuckle and tightens her grip. “I promise we’ll grow old together.”

 

 

 

The slightly taller girl buries her face in the crook of the younger’s neck. Her face muscles are having a cramp from smiling too hard but she’s enjoying every second. It’s because she knows it is not out of guilt - that she’s really meant to be with her.

 

 

Just like that morning, I woke up next to you again. And you’re wearing the same clothes. But unlike that morning, I’m no longer sick and I’m in love with you. And I’m not leaving you ever again. Nothing can break us apart, not even ourselves. 

 

 

 

“And I can't change, even if I tried,

Even if I wanted to.

My love, my love, my love, my love,

She keeps me warm, she keeps me warm.”

 

 

 

“Seulgi-ah.” Irene stands in front of her best friend with a smirk. “When is your turn?”

 

 

The photographer rubs her nape shyly, “Hmm…. Maybe later.”

 

 

“I think Joy isn’t ready.” Wendy side-eyes the bubbly giant whose cheeks are now rosy. “She has just landed herself a job. Take it slow.”

 

 

Joy clings onto the bear’s arm, “Well, unnie is right. We need more time but we’re slowly getting there.”

 

 

 

“You know what…...” Seulgi smiles brightly at her Sooyoung and her eyes shrink. “I’m quite oblivious and dumb sometimes. Thanks to you two, or else I won’t be able to keep her by my side.”

 

 

“I’m your best friend, no?” Irene grins even brighter and intertwines her hand with Wendy’s. 

 

 

In return, Wendy just gives it a tug while her eyes are busy admiring the younger couple in front of her. 

 

 

Seulgi is now her best friend too. They are the same age after all so they get close in these years. And she wants to make sure her second favorite junior is in good hands. 

 

 

Both her and Joohyun always give her timely advice since Park Sooyoung is a mature girl who seldom expresses her frustration and worries, an exact opposite to Kang Seulgi.

 

 

 

Then who’s Wendy’s favorite junior? Speaking of the devil......

 

 

“Unnie! Did I miss anything?”

 

 

Seeing the whole plate of bread in Yeri’s hands, Wendy heaves a sigh even today is her big day. “I didn’t set up this party for you to eat all the bread.” 

 

 

But the bread-addict exclaims with shimmering eyes as she spots those matching rings, “Hey, it’s really beautiful! I didn’t get to take a close look earlier ‘cause I’m short…... But now woah!”

 

 

 

“Stop drooling over their wedding rings.” The older satan gives a light smack on the younger’s head.

 

 

“Whatever.” She glares before rolling her huge eyes. “And just wanna say your parents are sitting down around the table now. Merrily chatting.”

 

 

“It’s all good then. Thanks, Yerim-ah.” Wendy nods and pats her favorite junior’s head.

 

 

“Should we go and check on them for a bit?” Irene offers as she is glancing around at her guests.

 

 

“Just go.” Seulgi shows her bear smile again and raises her camera. “I wanna walk around and snap some more shots too.”

 

 

 

So the newly-wed walks away with linking hands, with a wide proud grin on both faces.

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

 

“Look what I’ve found!” Wendy greets her wife with a delicate box as she enters their hotel suite. 

 

 

“What’s it?” Irene lazily looks up from the mini sofa.

 

 

“Carrot cake in Amsterdam.” 

 

 

“Really?” 

 

 

 

The gentle girl gives a quick peck on the approaching girl’s nose and opens the box, “You said you wanna have it since the day we arrived.”

 

 

Her excitement fades although her eyes are boring holes on the cake, “But we just had breakfast.”

 

 

“We can have it later.” She shrugs with a soft smile.

 

 

She gladly takes over the box, “I’ll put it in the fridge.”

 

 

 

Wendy looks at the view of her back and chuckles all the sudden, “Joohyun-ah, I dreamt of something interesting last night.”

 

 

“I reckon it’s about me?” Irene closes the fridge door shut.

 

 

“Although it’s not something happy.” She pouts a little recalling the scene.

 

 

“Oh. You can just tell me.” She ponders for a while. It isn’t the “memory” of my funeral, right? Not our breakup, right?

 

 

 

“I had a dream where you don’t remember me at all.” Son Seungwan runs her fingers through her locks. “One day you just woke up and said you came from somewhere we hadn’t met. And in the end, I sent you back…... I sent you away because it’s not me you love at that time.”

 

 

Bae Joohyun tries to scrutinize the face of the woman in front of her. It really looks identical to what she saw before, she doesn’t really age that much. “It’s, just a dream.”

 

 

 

It’s not just a dream. She lies. She suddenly realizes it hurts Wendy that much letting her go that night. Yes, she remembers her weeping at her cold study room, clutching onto the old photo frame.

 

 

Then she remembers something more. “You’re really kind, Seungwan. And it’s not your weakness, it’s your most powerful strength.”

 

 

So kind that she would give up her own happiness for the sake of others’.

 

 

 

“Like how?” She blinks her big eyes.

 

 

She tenderly holds her cheeks in her palms, “Like how you agreed to scout for a gift for Onew’s 1st wedding anniversary in our own honeymoon.”

 

 

“He’s a good man,” Wendy mutters. “And I figure Amsterdam has more special gifts.”

 

 

“That makes me fall for you more.” Irene envelops her lips on hers.

 

 

 

They break away as they need air. Chuckles and giggles and laughter have never ceased in this room.

 

 

“I saw a beautiful park nearby on my way back. Wanna take a stroll with me?” Wendy enthusiastically suggests while pointing at the window - the Sun is shining warmly on this chilly day.

 

 

“Just lead the way.” Irene thinks there’s no way she can stop smiling whenever she sees a hyped up Son Seungwan. “I’ll always follow.”

 

 

 

So they head out and go on for another adventure, together.

 

 

It’s okay to get lost sometimes. It’s because they both know they would never lose each other on the road. Woven, and straying.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

---

That's the end of this story!

Hope you enjoy it 'til the end.

 

But also sad to say, this officially marks the start of my hiatus.

I'm leaving for Seoul in three days and will update "Defiantly" very slowly lol

This is definitely one of my fav stories, really. 

 

p.s. This finale has quite a lot of references from the previous chapters, so feel free to re-read the whole story hahaha (also a reference to my other story "Neverwhere")

 

(p.p.s. you can also find me on Twitter @AD_saudades)

 

Hope to see you guys soon

xo