As much as Ryeowook was holding his pee in, Donghae was holding his tears in as desperately.

"Hyung, hurryhurryhurry I can't hold it much longer!" said his roommate who was dancing urgently beside him.

The open melody finally sounded, and Ryeowook was through the door in less than a heartbeat, kicking his shoes off at the entrance and charging towards the bathroom like his life depended on it.

Donghae wanted to laugh at the little comedic scene, but instead, his lips let out a sob, and the tears he’s been holding back since the car ride poured out.

He ran and locked himself in his room, not wanting Ryeowook to see nor hear him break down. He dove onto his bed and cried against his pillow, confused at why he was a wreck when inside, he was cartwheeling in ecstasy.

After the usual videos they showed during mid-concert, the staff played a surprise compilation of photos and clips, some of which even the members haven’t seen before, starting from their pre-debut days until that very night. They included everyone, even Hankyung hyung, also Kibum.

Together, they were horrified at their tribal hairdos during their first ever international performance in Thailand. Everyone hugged Kyuhyun when they showed a photo of their first performance with him. Then, they squished Henry and Zhou Mi when they showed a clip from the first ever SJM performance, back when Hyuk and Sungmin weren’t part of it yet.

He realized that he’s been taking everything for granted, all that they’ve gone through. People took care of him right from the beginning, but seeing the rest of the members start from something as small as being thrown together by an agency, to witness that miniscule commonality turn into a bond, and that bond turning them into one big family, really struck something inside.

It all went back to the person he’s been longing for every single day, the one person he most wanted to share this day with.

Rolling to his side, Donghae reached for the picture frame on his bedside table and, clearing tears from his eyes with the back of his hand, looked at it.

“We’ve come a long way from where we began, Dad,” he told the man smiling next to him in the photo. “So much has changed. It was just yesterday when I told you that I was finally debuting as a singer. I can’t believe it’s been 10 years since then.”

He sat up on his bed, still holding the frame, and crossed his legs into an indian sitting position. “One of us is even married already. Can you believe it? Sungmin hyung. He’s serving his duty now.”

Donghae felt his throat tighten at the thought. “I’ll be going in soon, too, Dad. I know everyone does it, and they come back okay. But I’m still scared, Dad. What if I go, and everyone moves on? I’ve been Super Junior’s Donghae for most of my life; I don’t think I know how to be anything else. How will I take care of Mom and Donghwa hyung if there’s no Super Junior anymore?”

A tear fell on the smiling man in the photo. He wiped it away with his thumb. “I miss you so much, Dad. I wish you were here to tell me that everything’s gonna be okay. I wish you saw us perform tonight, heard the screams of the audience.”

“I wish you could’ve seen your son make it. This is your dream, too, right, Dad? This is all for you, you and Mom and hyung,” Donghae continued, his voice cracking. “But don’t worry, I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again. I promise.”

A knock came on his door. Donghae put the frame down on his bed and hastily wiped his face dry. “Yeah?” he answered after clearing his throat.

“Hyung,” came Ryeowook’s muffled voice from outside. “Time for dinner.”

Giving his dad’s photo one last smile, he rose from his bed and opened the door, hoping that his eyes weren’t too puffy. Ryeowook didn’t say anything when he saw him. Either he looked fine or his roommate chose to not say anything about it.

Donghae walked to the kitchen where they usually eat but found it clean and empty.

“Where’s the food?” he asked, confused.

“What, you expect me to cook after that crazy show? We’re going out!” Ryeowook replied cheerily, taking his hand and dragging him to the door.