He thanked his manager for the ride to his new apartment.

At the door, he pushed up the keypad cover and entered his pin. The little melody sounded, indicating that it’s now open. He pushed down the cover and, before turning the knob, sighed. He knew that there’s nothing in there but an empty apartment. For the 227th time, he questioned his decision to live alone.

Heechul collapsed on his bed. He was definitely more tired right now than how he was after their first ever Super Show. His “bionic leg” (that’s how he liked to think of it) feels stiffer as well. He rubbed in unconsciously, remembering the accident that got him the leg. He remembered Donghae, that poor innocent boy, with teas on his face, the ones for his father’s passing combined with guilty tears for his accident.

Silly boy, he thought. It wasn’t your fault. It was mine. I’m sorry for adding to your heartbreak.

He kept his eyes closed for a while, letting his mind wander, not dwelling on anything specific. He scratched his face, realizing that he still had makeup on.

In the midst of contemplating whether he should wash up or just sleep with everything on, his stomach grumbled, telling him to screw washing and sleeping - food is top priority right now. he kicked about in his bed in a little tantrum, too lazy to cook. Besides, he doubted if there even is anything to cook in his kitchen.

He really should have stayed in the dorms. Ryeowook probably has whipped up something delicious by now.

But you know what he’s really craving for at the moment?

Beijing fried rice.

Heechul finally sat up, hungry and upset. He’ll never satisfy this craving. Goodness knows he’s tried, but even Henry, in one of his chef-Henry moments, couldn’t replicate that specific taste he used to make.

Trodding to his desk, the memories of early dorm days rolled around in his head. There were a lot of mad laugher to mask fearful tears in their hearts, ridiculous joy over free food - no matter how little, noisy days that turned into nights spent in insecure silence, the soundlessness screaming of the uncertainty of their future.

It used to annoy him, but right now, what he really missed most was how crowded it was. It can get irritating, but it was hard to feel lonely with all the boys around. The best thing was the knowledge that no matter what time you come, there was always someone to welcome you home.

And the way they charged towards the table when there’s food! Heechul let out a chuckle. Were they really that starved back then?

And that guy, that kind, stupid guy, would always end up doing the dishes even after cooking the meal itself. He’d grudgingly do it while threatening to never cook for them again, but he’d always cook again the next day.

Heechul smiled at the cutesy graphics of the on screen. Yet again, he’s holding his old flip phone. How long has it been since he turned it on?

Ah, right, it’s been two years, the day he came back from military service. He had to learn an album’s worth of new choreography, and re-learn their past dances, all within 3 months because he was set to participate in the next Super Show stop. He was really anxious then, so he sent a message to the person who he longed to hear reassuring words from.

Just like then, he opened a new message window and typed in the familiar number he’s typed since a decade ago.

Hey, it’s me. We just did our 10th anniversary encore concert. Can you believe it? 10 years. Who knew?

After sending, he opened up another message window.

This is ur 10th anniversary, too, u bastard. U started this with us. U should’ve seen it through with us, too. It would’ve been perfect, had u been here.

Sent.

New message.

It’s been a long 5yrs w/o u, man. A lot of things have happened. A lot has changed. I’ll tell u all about it when I see u again.

Sent.

New message.

We’ve come a long way from when we began. Look at u doing photoshoots in London & appearing on Trans4mers. You’ve gotta tell me all about it when I see u again.

Sent.

Heechul wiped the stray tear that he didn’t realize has fallen before shutting the phone down. He missed his best friend the most during times like these, times of success. Over the years, he’s decided that it was indeed a good thing that he left, because he wouldn’t have reached the heights that he has now had he remained in the group.

But just like how he hoped that these messages still reached Hankyung, he wished that he could return by his side and celebrate this dream, one that he started along with the other boys, come true.

Darnit, Heechul thought irritatedly as his stomach let out an angrier growl. He had to feed himself now.

Irritated at having to do this thing that he had always taken for granted, he quickly changed into comfortable sweats, grabbed his phone and wallet, and went out to the only place that comes close to making Hankyung’s Beijing fried rice.