His headlights shone over grass and gravel. It was pretty challenging to navigate this place at night when pitch black surrounded him. A little trick he learned over the years was to count the turns. Five rounds up the mountain road, keeping the tiny dots of light from the faraway city on his left, usually took him there.

Making sure that the handbrake was up, Siwon killed the engine and grabbed the gym bag from the passenger seat before getting out. He fumbled for the flashlight and, finding it, turned it on, the bright white beam piercing through the darkness.

He’d be lying if he said that it wasn’t still a little bit creepy coming here this time of night when the only sounds were the mild rustling of trees somewhere in the distance and dried leaves crunching under his feet, reminding him of the horror movie Jiwon begged him to watch with her the other week.

Stop scaring yourself, the rational part of him reprimanded. Siwon gave his head a little shake to clear it. He went back to focusing on the search for the mound.

He shone his flashlight left and right, losing his sense of direction for a second. Shadows swayed around the edge of the patches of illuminated grass as he searched for the mound. Then, the light hit something white. He paused, the silly part of him thinking of something utterly ridiculous.

It’s just the flower pots, he remembered, letting out a relieved sigh. He seriously needed to watch a ton of comedies when he gets home.

Training the light on the pots, he walked until he loomed over them before laying his bag on the ground, resting the flashlight on top of it. He then stood up straight, brought his hands together, the left over the right, and lifted them up to his chest. Slowly, he brought his knees down until they touched the floor, his hands doing the same. He bent his body further until his forehead touched the back of his left hand. He first brought his right knee up, then the left, until he was standing once more, his hands back at the level of his chest, before bringing them back down below his abdomen.

After all this, he sat back down, crossed his legs, and proceeded to take out more things from his bag. Two fat candles were lit. Both pots emptied of dried flowers and replaced with fresh ones. Dusting his hands off, Siwon sighed, then smiled.

“Hi, Grandma, it’s me.”

He kept his eyes on the mound of dirt, imagining the pleasant smiling face of his grandmother.

“I… I was supposed to come next week, on your memorial day, with everyone. But… I couldn’t wait that long. I had to see you,” he said. He remembered how his grandmother would nod encouragingly, and she probably was doing just that right now, so he continued.

“I had one of the most fantastic days today, Grandma. We had our 10th anniversary concert. It was amazing. I-I don’t really cry easily but I… I couldn’t help it awhile ago. You know how it was when I first joined the group, how worried you were about the hardships…”

“But it all paid off, Grandma. We made it to 10 years. Your favorite grandson is now a 10-year veteran in showbiz.” Siwon let out a laugh that ended with a sniffle. He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to will it back in. But the snot, along with the tears, forced their way out.

“I actually have them all written down, you know, like I always do. My yearly letter to you. I know that it’s silly, that you can’t read them anymore, but… it’s tradition, you know?”

He could almost feel his grandma’s warm caress on his cheek from a gust of wind. Siwon sniffled once more as he drew the folded letter from his pocket.

“Here, I’ll read it to you.”

And he began to tell his grandma of everything that happened the past year. He told her of the group’s new album and world tour, his dreams of being in a Hollywood movie coming true, the members who came out of and went into the service, his travels alone and with his family, new people he’s met, and this new show that he’s in where he’s paired with one of the kindest women he’s ever met, and how that made him want to have a real version of that make believe in his life.

He also went into detail about the last two days, the emotionally-charged nights that ed just a few hours ago, on that stage where everybody did their best to hold their tears in. He was used to events by fans, but tonight’s was different, more special - something he seared into his memory, never wanting to forget it.

Then there was the surprise video from the staff. He recounted the moments to his grandma, the embarrassing photos from the early days and how the recent ones weren’t less embarrassing, and how he wouldn’t want it any other way.

The most touching part, at least for him, was when they showed photos of ELF holding sapphire blue balloons. From their debut performance, the number grew bigger and bigger until they became a beautiful glittering ocean. There were pictures of ELF from different countries, people who wouldn’t have met otherwise, sitting in a circle talking animatedly while in line for a Super Show. They somehow even managed to put together some statistics of how much help has been given to those in need through ELF’s fan projects for them.

“I cannot thank God enough, praise Him enough, for blessing me with such kind and generous fans,” Siwon read. “I pray everyday that He looks over each and every one of ELF, that He protects them and continues blessing them so they can continue blessing others.”

Siwon folds the letter in half. “That’s all I managed to write, Grandma. I might’ve forgotten some, but I’ll just tell you all about them when I see you again.”

“It’s been a long journey to this day, and we’ve come a long way from where we began. But I couldn’t have made it without your love and encouragement. I miss you, Grandma. I wish you were here to see it.”

Silently, he held the letter over a candle. The corner ignited, and he let it burn, the flame oddly calming as he watched it devour the paper. Right before it reached his hand, he blew it out, stood up, stepped on it, then poured water over the mulch. Making sure that there were no embers left, he bid his grandma one last goodbye before returning to his car. He headed for the twinkling lights of the city beyond.

All that driving and reading made him hungry.

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Here's a new update! I hope you're liking the story so far. :)

Doing my best to update regularly, lol.

Thanks to everyone who read and commented!

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