GO groaned when Seungho just laughed out loud while patting GO's shoulder. A comforting pat from a winner. "Shut up!" GO squinted his eyes dangerously as he fiddled with the game console.

"Sulk all you want. I'm still the winner." Seungho smiled proudly as he turned to lied on his back.

"That's our leader." Mir came into the living room with a tub of ice cream in his hand. "Byunghee hyung. Want to play a round?" Mir asked as he grabbed on the game console that had been abandoned by Seungho.

"You'll regret it." GO muttered bedgrudgingly as he picked his game character.

"Don't forget our maknae is strong at game." Seungho reminded while patting both GO's and Mir's shoulder before returning to his ice cream.

"Yeah right! I'm stronger than him." GO shot back. He glanced at maknae just in time to see the youngest's loud yawn. "Yah~ You haven't been sleeping these days, have you?"

"Huh? No... I sleep like a baby."

"No, you don't." Seungho pinched in. "I saw you sneaking out at 4 in the morning almost every day." Seungho narrowed his eyes when he saw Mir visibly stiffened at his words. At first he wasn't about to question the maknae, he didn't too much about it, but seeing the maknae's suspicious reaction just bugged him. "Where did you go, maknae?"

"Huh?" That made even GO turned curiously towards the maknae who was obviously avoiding their eyes. They knew Mir too well. There must be something Mir was hiding from them. "I-I... Uh... I went cycling."

"Cycling?" GO echoed. "At four in the morning?" He asked in disbelief.

"Uh-huh."

"Really?" Seungho rose his brows at Mir.

"Yeah... It's pretty nice exercising early in the morning. You guys should try."

GO frowned became deeper as he gaped at the maknae. "Cheolyong. It's too early!" He almost squeaked. The game was long forgotten.

"I win!" Mir exclaimed and tossed the game console onto GO's laps while doing his ridiculous victory dance.

"Hey! That's unfair!" GO whined.

"Yah! Maknae! Stop deflecting." Seungho yelled out, trying to catch the hyperactive maknae who was now jumping all over the living room, ignoring him.

"Yah! One more game!" GO demanded.

Seungho cursed as he couldn't focus in capturing Mir when GO kept yapping by his ear about the damn game. "Just switch that thing off! I'm trying to question off this brat!" Seungho turned to GO angrily.

GO scowled. "What's wrong with you? I'm totally innocent. I just want to play!" He said defensively.

"Play all you want after Cheolyong answer my question!" Seungho offered a deal.

"Fine!" And GO accepted it. Both turned to the maknae only to find an empty space. They blinked absentmindedly. "He just left."

"He did." Seungho sighed and sat back on the couch. "I just remember he got photoshoot today." He mumbled. "How convenient." He continued his grumbling.

"Hey..." GO called quietly with a sheepish grin. "Another round." After letting out long groan, Seungho did join GO until they both got tired of playing. But, Seungho made sure to remember to confront Mir about his suspicious behaviour. Later.

○○○○○

How convenient. That was what Mir thought as he easily evaded Seungho's question because of that photoshoot. He really didn't want to lie to Seungho or GO but after what had happened, he knew, truth would just make it worse. Him accepting Sanghyun didn't mean he had forgotten of his promise to protect both Seungho and GO. Right at this moment, the only way he could protect them was keeping this as secret.

He almost could predict what the two olders' reaction will be if he told them about him meeting Sanghyun secretly every morning. Seungho might understood him but with all of his understanding gestures, he knew Seungho still would be hurt. GO? GO would probably ended up ignoring him.

Mir sighed. Why did he do this? Why couldn't he just be like Seungho or GO? Why couldn't he just ignore Sanghyun? Why couldn't he hate? And now, as he stood in front of the door to Joon's apartment, a small plastic bag of medicine in hand, he wondered, why the hell he couldn't just say no to Sanghyun's request?

When he just finished his photoshoot just now and was about to head home, Sanghyun had given him a call. Sanghyun's panic and worried tone was enough to set alarm on Mir. Sanghyun had asked him for help. Asked him to buy medicine for sick Joon because he couldn't leave Joon's side. Sanghyun made it sounded like Joon was severely ill but he did detect Sanghyun's uneasiness for having to ask him though he didn't know the reason for. Sanghyun sounded a bit scared to mention Joon's name. Weird... And the older let out an obvious relieved sigh when Mir finally agreed to help. Double weird. It was totally weird unless Sanghyun thought that Mir hated Joon. That was a possibility though Mir thought Sanghyun already know how he felt towards the two former members after their reconciliation that morning in the park. Hatred... It wasn't as easy as to speak. Love... It wasn't as easy as to forget...

The door opened just a few seconds after the maknae rung the bell, revealing Sanghyun who smiled once he saw Mir there. "Oh, Cheolyongie? Come in." Sanghyun reached out Mir's free hand and guided the boy straight into Joon's room. "Where's the meds?" Sanghyun asked and Mir gave it out without a word. "Take after a meal." Sanghyun read loudly. He went out of the room and left Mir awkwardly standing there in the middle of the room. Fortunately Joon was sleeping, so the awkwardness was still bearable.

Mir stood like a statue at his spot. Once in a while, he glanced at the sleeping Joon on the bed. Joon was looking pale. Dark rings under his eyes. Lips dry and chapped. His breath was a bit shaky. "Is it really that bad?" He whispered to himself as he took cautious step towards the sick man. He hesitated a bit before he finally put his hand on Joon's forehead. His eyes widened a bit and when he heard sound of the bedroom door opening again, he turned too quickly at Sanghyun, almost displacing his spine. "Hyung! His fever is too high. Why didn't you take him to hospital?" He asked, almost nagging.

"I did take his temperature. No need for hospital, I think. Hey, Cheolyong. I'm going out. He doesn't have anything to eat here. He needs to eat before he takes the meds. You, take care of him for a bit."

"Eh?" Mir squeaked. "It's okay, hyung. I'll buy the food inste-" Mir stopped when he felt shaky grip on his wrist. He turned to see Joon who was still sleeping, now was gripping on his wrist. Mir tried to pry off Joon's hand from him but amazingly, the grip was strong for a sick sleeping man.

Sanghyun chuckled as he saw that. "That means, I'm the one who have to go out. I'll be back quickly."

Mir clicked his tongue as Sanghyun just rushed out of the bedroom and hence the house. He scratched his head as he look down on Joon. Blinking for a few more times while chewing his inner cheeks, he again, peeled Joon's fingers off of his wrist one by one. He watched as Joon groaned and scrunched up his face in his sleep.

When he was finally free, Mir rushed to the kitchen and took out a bowl of cold water and brought it into the room. He rummaged through Joon's drawers and got out a small towel. Wetting the towel and putting it onto Joon's forehead, the older shuddered and scooted away, but Mir kept the towel in place by pressing his hand onto the towel.

"He must have been working too hard." Mir commented while shaking his head. He stopped when something on the table by the side of Joon's bed caught his eyes. He bit his lips when he recognized the picture that was beautifully framed on the table. So, this was where he had dropped that picture. No wonder he couldn't find it anywhere. He turned to Joon sadly. He wished that his hyungs weren't divided. He wished that Seungho and GO could someday forgave the other two. But, it wasn't easy. He knew that. He wasn't a foolish little kid anymore. He knew not everything work the way he wanted. Still... It wasn't that wrong to hope.

"I'm sorry. Don't leave." Joon suddenly whimpered. A drop of clear tear made way out of his close lids. "I'm truly sorry."

"Hyung. Hyung. You're dreaming." Mir tried to shake the older awake but tried not to shock him awake by gently shaking his shoulder and calling out with quiet voice. "Hyung? Joon hyung?"

Joon's lids slowly unraveled his weary dark orbs. They flickered around the room before those black orbs finally found Mir. "You're here." He croaked out with a weak smile. Mir just nodded innocently in response. "I don't want to wake up. Ever."

Mir tilted his head confusedly. "You are... Awake." Mir said slowly, staring at Joon in astonishment.

"This is a nice dream." Joon sighed with a small smile. "After a nightmare."

Blinking, Mir waved his hand in front of Joon's face. "Hyung. You're not dreaming." Mir tried again.

Joon caught Mir's wandering hand in front of his face. A light frown made way to his face as he run his thumb across Mir's palm. "Not a dream?" Mir just answered with a humm and fixed the towel that almost slipped off from Joon's burning head. "It's not... You're real." He kept on talking while Mir didn't really give any attention since the maknae thought that Joon was still a bit high because of his fever. He thought Joon wasn't fully awake yet only to be surprised when Joon suddenly sat up.

"Yah!" Mir warned but he was already too late. Joon was groaning while holding his head which undoubtedly was pounding like a hammer in the brain due to his sudden move. "Lie back." Mir ordered while trying to push Joon back on the bed when Joon just grabbed his hand and pulled him into a hug. "Hyung. You need to rest." Mir tried again until he felt warm tears seeping through his shirt on his shoulder. Mir sighed shortly and hugged Joon back while giving the older a comforting pat on the back.

"I know you will never forgive me but, I'm so-"

"Hyung." Mir cut the sobbing man off. "There's nothing to forgive." Mir felt Joon's arm around him tightened.

"You won't forgive me?" Joon asked like a child between his sobs.

"Like I said, there's nothing to forgive." Mir felt Joon was shaking his head hard and another pain groan escaped Joon's lips. "Stop doing that. You'll make it worst."

Joon still shook his head despite the splitting headache. "Say you forgive me. Please." Sighing, Mir finally nodded to assure the older. "You forgive me?" Mir nodded again. "...them?"

Mir slowly pulled himself away from Joon. He smiled sadly. He didn't know how to answer. He couldn't just ask Seungho and GO to accept the two back. He was afraid to do that. Scared that he might hurt his hyungs. That was why he met Sanghyun secretly. And now, he was here with Joon, again, without his hyungs knowing.

"But you do, right? You forgive me?" Joon asked again. "You don't hate me, right?" Joon asked, more like demanded for more reassurant. As Mir gave him a firm nod, he smiled and once again pulled Mir into a tight hug. "That's enough for me. That's enough..." He whispered.

But for Mir... Though he did feel lighter now that he had told the truth to Joon and Sanghyun, he still felt heavy tug of guilt on his heartstring at the thought of that he was lying and hiding this from Seungho and GO. He felt... Torn... Those feelings are tearing him apart.

sorry haven't been updating much. I just got better. This might be karma for being so cruel trying to make the characters all fall sick. I ended up fall sick