The talk
It hurts"I wonder if he remember..." Sanghyun slurred as he played with the empty wine bottle in his hand. Sighing, he leaned forward and put his chin on the cold table. "He should remember, right?" He asked innocently at the bartender, a plain looking girl with kind smile, who was standing before him, behind the counter.
"When did you guys make that promise?" The bartender asked, putting another glass of shot for a customer sitting next to Sanghyun.
Sanghyun let go of the bottle and it almost rolled off the counter when the bartender swiftly caught the bottle and put it on the table where she used to put all the empty glasses and bottles. Sanghyun hold up his hand and started counting on his fingers. "4 years ago." He raised up one hand with only his thumb bent in. He had this childish grin on his face as he did so.
The bartender shrugged as she mixed another ordered drink. "That's quite far back." She commented.
Sanghyun sighed and turned his head so this time, he lied his cheek flat onto the counter. "It is... But, he need to remember."
"Is that promise so important?" She asked again. It had been half an hour since Sanghyun started telling her about how he wanted his brother to remember their promise and Sanghyun had downed almost two bottles of wine while doing so.
Sanghyun nodded and closed his eyes. "It is. To me."
Seeing how her customer was becoming too drunk, she asked for his phone which Sanghyun easily gave to her. He liked that girl. She was a good listener and she never failed to respond to him. The bartender tried a few numbers but were unreachable. "Who can I call to pick you up?"
Sanghyun chuckled. "No one..." He replied. "No one is going to care about a drunk betrayer like me."
"There must be someone. Even a murderer has family." She replied calmly, already used to face all kinds of people who came here with all kind of problems.
Sanghyun hummed. Eyes still closed, he answered. "Then call him. He understand me."
"Name?"
"Joon hyung."
She did and fortunately Joon answered the phone. After explaining everything and heard the worried voice of the other on the line and heard the rushing footsteps and slamming of door, she cut off the phonecall and turned back to Sanghyun. "Are you sleeping?"
"Ani..." Sanghyun mumbled tiredly.
She shook her head. Idols could be so messed up like this... It wasn't even eight in the evening and that certain idol was already this drunk. "Hey... Why can't you just tell him that promise?"
Sanghyun never answered that question as he was already snoring away on the counter. She shook her head more and simply get back to her work until about quarter of hour later, Joon came in running.
"Sanghyun-ah. What the hell are you thinking? You never get this drunk." He nagged and tried to shake awake the younger.
"Someone doesn't remember their promise." She interluded with a small smile and just shrugged when Joon gave her questioning look. She just watched as another customer of her with heavy heart and messed up feeling being taken out of her bar. People never escaped from problem.
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GO sighed and put on his windbreaker. His movements were slow and reluctant as he grabbed his wallet and phone. Fixing his hair a bit, he tried not to look at the new picture frame standing alone on his computer table.
He remembered that he had threwn the old picture frame and when he woke up in the morning, a new frame was there, no doubt was from Mir who had cleaned after the mess he made, albeit it was empty from the picture that was supposed to be there. GO didn't even make any effort to find the picture and just let it mysteriously disappeared.
It probably was better that way anyway. At least he won't feel the stabbing pain on his chest everytime his eyes landed on the picture which was to him, just another proof of lies they had been living in.
But, he did wonder sometimes whether the picture was now in the maknae's possesion. Whatever. Even if it is, he didn't mind if Mir didn't give it back to him. He wouldn't even mind if Mir actually burn that picture. He wanted to tear the picture apart and burn it out of anger long ago but he just never had heart to. His hands would always trembled and he would just stop, leaving the picture unharmed. So, if the maknae did get rid of the picture, it meant that Mir was just doing him a favor. At least that was what he wanted to believe.
"Ready?" GO turned and saw Seungho popping in only his head through the door to his room. GO nodded in response and Seungho jerked his head a bit. "Let's go."
"Do we have to?" GO asked with a small whine.
Seungho pushed open the door a bit wider and approached his friend. "Remember. We do this for Cheolyong." He reminded, putting his hand on GO's shoulder. "It's about time we be strong for him." Seungho gave a light squeeze as if trying to share the strength.
Sighing deeply, GO stepped towards the strawberry flower plant by the windowsill. He caressed the silky like petals before he bent down a bit so he could smell the sweet scent of the beautiful plant. His finger then caressed the new vase as beautiful as the flower. A new vase given by Mir yet another one. "Fine. For Cheolyong." GO said, walking ahead. "That kid better at least treat me to expensive dinner for making me do this." GO grumbled, gaining himself a soft chuckle from Seungho.
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Joon stopped dead in front of the cafe. He put his hand over his chest and felt how his heart was thumping loudly and erratically against his ribcage. Catching his breath, he swallowed as he felt how dry his throat was. Honestly, he never felt as nervous as now.
Just when he tucked the drunk Sanghyun into bed in the younger's house which thankfully empty since Sanghyun's family members went on a bussiness trip and had some work to do, he got a text from someone he never expected to. Seungho. Seungho had asked him to meet and to bring Sanghyun with him, but considering Sanghyun was drunk, he came here alone. He didn't even thought of asking the reason and immediately rushed to the promised place in mixed feeling of anticipation, curious, excited and fear and a few more feelings he couldn't name.
Calming himself down a bit, he stepped into the cafe, still hearing the loud thumping behind his ears. He was a good actor though. So, he could easily faked his calm appearance as he approached the two men who were sitting in the personal booth of the cafe.
"You came." Seungho greeted calmly which Joon replied with a slight bow and taken his seat facing both Seungho and GO who were sitting side by side.
Joon took his time to observe the two with his outwardly unfazed expression. He saw how behind the collected demeanor of Seungho, there was some nervousness there. He saw how GO never once met his eyes and continuously finding interest in the wall or the table, anything other than Joon. It was awkward to say the least.
"Thanks for coming." Seungho started again.
"Yea." Joon simply replied. "Why do you want to meet?"
Seungho glanced at GO who seemed to ignore the conversation but he knew his friend well. GO was listening. Attentively if he had to add. This topic is important after all. "Well... Wait. Is Sanghyun coming?"
Joon shook his head and was about to reply when the waiter came and took his order. "He's sleeping." Joon thought, there was no need to tell how drunk the younger was.
"It will be better if he's here." Seungho muttered to himself. "Listen." His voice back to normal as he looked up to Joon. "We can't keep doing this anymore."
"Doing what?" Joon feigned ignorance.
"Stop acting clueless, will you?" There was clear hint of annoyance in GO's voice as the singer scowled at Joon.
Joon frowned. He hit his palm on the table. "I'm going if the reason you're calling me here just to show how much you hated me. I'm not that free." Joon hissed back. Joon stood up noisily, almost knocking off the chair he sat on.
"Joon, sit!" Seungho warned with low dangerous voice making Joon froze in his place.
Joon didn't sit though, he didn't walk away neither. He just stood there as Seungho's eyes stabbed deep into his own dark orbs. "Here your order, sir." The waiter walked in and put Joon's drinks and left as Joon slowly sat back down.
Seungho turned to GO. "We talked about this." GO clicked his tongue and looked away, biting his lips and crossing his hands defiantly. Sighing, Seungho turned back to Joon. "I'm talking about us. We can't keep acting like this to each other. Acting like we're enemies."
"Look who's talking."
"And who started it!" GO retorted just as quick.
"Stop you two!" Seungho shouted.
"What?" GO snapped even to Seungho. His lower lips quivered and he barely hold the raging tremble shaking his whole frame. "They abandoned us! They betrayed us. You remember how we got to know them leaving from their lawyers. They left without even a word. Not even a sorry! We mean nothing to them. Not enough of that, you see how bad we got criticized by the netizens. Lots of our fans left, blaming us. Saying that we tried to badmouth them when what we were doing were just telling out the truth. And even when we were being honest, I remember clearly, we never talked negatively about them. But still, we are the one taking the blame. Why? What exactly had we done to deserve this? You know what, Seungho?My answer to your question is still the same. I hate them. Yes! I HATE THEM. Because of them, nothing goes right for us anymore! Nothing!" He almost shouted as his voice kept going higher at his bubbling anger and disappointment. His chest were heaving. His face flushed and his eyes glistened with angry tears.
"Jung Byunghee!" Seungho hissed. He rubbed his temple.
GO inhaled deeply as a drop of clear tear lapped down his cheek. Inhaling deeply, he continued. "Fine... I don't really care about what other people think. They didn't know us. But I cared for them, yet they left. They left. They left without saying a word. It just how distant they are from us. They never care about us." This time, GO's voice was getting smaller. The rage in his orbs disappeared and what was left was only defeat. He wiped the tears away and looked over to Joon who was clearly surprised and frozen at the outburst. "I guess we're just that distant."
Joon bit his bottom lip and he felt hot tears prickled at the corner of his eyes as he saw how similar that broken look on GO's face as on Mir's. All three of them were broken. Were damaged by his own hands. How could he hurt them that bad? How could he put that blade on their heart? How could he keep carving new deep cut on them? As GO's figure seemed blur in his eyes, he blinked a few times and his vision cleared as all of those warm tears fall down in fast stream from his sockets along his sunken cheeks.
GO didn't know how to react as he finally noticed that Joon was crying a river and he only heard Seungho's small voice calling the other's name in surprise and concern. "Joon...?"
Joon sobbed a little. "I'm sorry..." He whispered. "I really am..." All he could do was say that word again and again. 'Sorry'. But he knew, it was not enough. It will never be enough. "I'm so sorry..."
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