A/N: ok, so the first "Try" was, as you might have guessed, straight written according to the lyrics and nothing more. And that was not the way I had originally planned to write this fic :D sometimes the first time isn't the way we wanted the things to be so here I am, trying to do a better job. It might be that "Try" is going to be just a onetime miracle, or it might be that I will write a short drabble like that of every song that I choose to write, don't know yet myself :D

But please, enjoy. And I'm so happy to have so many subbies already and thank you maryfemme and xxDRAGONLOVERxx for throwing those requests out there. I will try to do them as soon as possible, it might be a while though. Life is hectic with work and what not at the moment ^^

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I knew, when I first met you that we were not going to be just friends. I sensed that attraction to you the moment I walked into the room to meet my members. You had this air about you that screamed "not pleased" and it also showed in your face. You refused to look at the rest of us, I think you were upset about something. Then I didn't know that you wanted to be GDYB, that you wanted to debut as a duo. Yet, there I was, all excited to be able to work with you, the trainee of YG that was already famous in the company. 

I admired you from the beginning. Although you refused to talk to me, I knew that there had to be something that we had in common. It is impossible to find 5 people with nothing in common, it's against the odds of the world. So I just had to wait for it to happen. And then you spoke your first words to me, asking about a drama. I was thrilled. You were into the same thing that I was.

From then, we watched that series until the end and cried on each other's shoulders at the finale. But then I didn't know how to continue this connection that we had found. What if the connection didn't exist anywhere else than in my mind? What would I do then? So I wracked my brain to come up with something to connect us again like the drama. 

But I didn't come up with anything. It was you. You came to me. And I thank YG so much for assigning us to the same room. You were forced to spend time with me, even if the time was meant for sleeping. But then you did something strange. In the middle of the night, you grabbed me and took me into your arms. I wasn't use to that, I was the oldest in the family. And I thought that you were too close to the edge and were afraid of falling to the floor. So I scooted closer to the wall to give you more space. But that didn't work either. In later years I found out that you felt that I was left out, lonely. And you, as the leader, wanted me to feel better about my decision on coming to this strange city, all alone, with no family or friends to support me.

Slowly, I noticed that my gaze would always find you. And I was anxious if you sat next to someone in the van. I wanted you to sit next to me. I was, though, too naive at that point to realise what I really felt for you. I was too young. So as we grew older, you went out to test your boundaries. You wanted to know more about yourself. And I knew that I could never do the same thing, as open as you. Because at that time I already knew what was happening inside me. I knew that I wanted more out of this relationship, which was named leader-maknae. I wanted to be someone more special to you. What kept me from doing anything was the fear of your rejection and thus the disbandment of the whole group. I would shatter not only the dream of your love, but my dream as an entertainer. As well as the rest of the members' dreams. And I couldn’t have that kind of burden. The guilt would eat me alive.

So I was silent. Though I guess Youngbae, TOP and Daesung all knew at least to some level what I was craving for. Youngbae didn't encourage me or reject me, he just said that I should be who I want to be and not care about the opinion of others. But that I should keep in mind that I shouldn’t cause too much trouble to anyone. Daesung was the same as Youngbae, I think it comes with their character, they are too similar. TOP was the most encouraging one. He actually came up with the plan of acting affectionate with him to see if you would react the slightest bit. "Jiyong is as stubborn as you are. He might not show it but it might be a flying look in his eyes that he masks after a second. So you keep a close watch on him." he said and we put the plan in motion. And every time we would fool around, like brothers should, I'd keep a close watch on your expression, to see if you were affected the slightest bit. And one time, I was able to see this look in your eyes that boosted my self-confidence. I knew that you felt something from us fooling around. And then it hit me. What if it was me you were jealous of, for acting affectional with TOP and not the other way around, like I hoped? So I had to ask and beg Youngbae to act the same way with me to see if you were feeling anything. And that was one of the biggest mistakes, I would realise later on.

To my pleasure, you were just as jealous of Youngbae as you were of TOP. So now I knew that you felt something for me. But how to come out to you and confess? That was my next problem. 

The following week, Top and Youngbae were both super clingy with me. And it started to irritate me. But I didn't have to do anything as you came over one practice, pulled me out of their grasp and said super menacingly, "maknae is mine." I was in seventh heaven.

I could never tell you that it was all a plan to see your reaction. You would kill me, murder me and hide the body somewhere so that I could never be found. And I value my life too much.

So that night when you came to sleep next to me, I was waiting for your hands to sneak around my waist. But they never came. Instead, I felt your back against mine. So I decided to make the first move and I moved so that I was facing your back. This time I was the one embracing you. And I mumbled against your neck "Jiyong, I really really like you". I don't know how your expression was because the moment I was ready to place my lips to your neck for a slight peck, you turned around and buried your face to my chest. I felt so thrilled. The mighty dragon was feeling embarrassed in my presence. And the next scene caught my breath in my throat and I know I can never erase it from my mind. You were so beautiful when you lifted your face from my chest and just looked at me with slight tears in your eyes and your cheeks super red. I bent down and placed my lips against yours. And again I was in heaven. It was the gentlest kiss I have ever given anyone, in my life. And I felt you responding to it. I didn't have to doubt anymore whether it was right or wrong to feel like this towards you. I just knew that we were right to love who we choose. 

We didn’t do anything more that night, we just exchanged some kisses and then cuddled. I woke up with the widest smile on my face as I felt you still snuggled up against me. I placed a small kiss on your forehead to signal you I was awake and you should wake up soon as well. And you did. Your eyes opened and you gazed up at me. We smiled to each other and then you stood up, pulling me as well. We stood there for a moment, just mesmerised of each other's beauty and lost in the gaze of our loved one. "I love you, hyung." I said, with a small sigh as I saw your face lit up and a pink shade spreading to your cheeks. "I do too, maknae." You said. And I guess my expression mimicked the one I had just witnessed.

But it wasn't so easy to be open about the things between us. We were just starting our careers and we couldn't afford to be caught in a scandal of this calibre just yet. To be gay is still a sensitive subject in Korea so in the 2000's, it was even more sensitive, almost a taboo. And the life of a celebrity is even harsher than that of a regular human being. Though it shouldn't matter, as we are all the same.

As the years progressed, we faced the problems of every couple. But we couldn’t take our fights outside. We had to keep them behind closed doors. And we had to play our parts as well. But we made this work. With hard work. We both have our set of scars in our hearts and we know that there will be more. We have both been in the wrong, perhaps me more than you. Still we try and make this worthwhile.