Chapter 4

[Autumn 1456]

He wondered if the world was only as wide as ten steps time ten steps. At least it was the world he knew. There was a horizontal plane that he stood on, it was called the floor. Then, there’s another horizontal plane above him, it was called the ceiling. Four vertical planes surrounded his surrounding as they’re called walls. He wondered what thing existed outside of this locked box he lived in since he opened his eyes in this world.

Whisper was his best friend. He barely learnt how to talk by listening to people around him. He was fed and took care of, but no one seemed to close enough for him to call ‘family’ or ‘friend’. He even learnt those words when few older boys than him passed in front of him room, talking about it. He didn’t even know what his name was. No one ever called him and he wondered why he was born in this world only to be locked down.

He was four now or so he thought and there was a new caretaker. No one got into his room except his caretaker. His caretaker always changed from time to time so he got used to it. It was weird because usually, his caretaker was an old woman or man, but this time it was a boy around his age.

“I’m Jaejoong. Ummm, what’s your name?” the caretaker boy asked as he shook his head. No one of his previous caretakers ever told him their names. It somehow made his chest felt warm.

“You don’t have a name?” the caretaker Jaejoong spoke as he nodded sadly.

“Don’t be sad, I’m good with names!” the caretaker Jaejoong suddenly said,” Let’s see…You have bright eyes and you really look like a smarter version of Junsu! I want to squeeze you~”

He couldn’t believe his ear, there was no way he had this bright eyes the caretaker spoke of; he spent his life inside this dark room after all. Like it wasn’t surprising enough, he felt a warm touch on his body as he froze. No one ever touch him, he couldn’t imagine himself to be hugged like now. It was too overwhelming and he couldn’t help but to shed tears. It was the first time he felt alive.

“Please don’t cry!” the caretaker Jaejoong was surprised,” Shhh…I’m sorry if I startled you. Ummm, what about this? What about ‘Changmin’? Your name is Changmin!”

“…Changmin?” he wiped his tears as he let his new caretaker hugged him again. Changmin felt happy with his name. From that day, Changmin always waited for Jaejoong to visit him. Since they’re not that different in age, Changmin felt like he had a brother, instead of caretaker. It really slipped his mind that was another caretaker at the same time that took care of his needs. Jaejoong was only spending time with him and making him smile all the time.

[Summer 1458]

“Hyung,” Changmin still couldn’t get used to call Jaejoong like that but he loved it,” I’ve finished all the books you gave me. They’re all so interesting. Thank you.”

“I have more,” Jaejoong laughed as he gave a pile of books to the very excited Changmin. Mostly, they spent their time reading and teaching Changmin stuff. Changmin felt like he had a teacher.

 Yet, it began to bug him that Jaejoong always visited him at odd hour, when no one was around. Changmin was barely six but he somehow became highly aware of things happening around him; couldn’t help it when the thing you had done your whole life was analyzing your surrounding because you couldn’t get out from your room.

“Hyung, what’s out there?” Changmin suddenly asked as he pointed to one of the walls. He could see Jaejoong stiffened at his question and it scared the hell of Changmin. He was afraid Jaejoong would leave him like everyone else; two years were a miracle for Changmin to still have Jaejoong around.

“Umm, there’s a hallway next to the door. Then there’s a garden,” Jaejoong tried to explain as Changmin nodded. He was drowned in his thought. He obviously wanted to get out after knowing much more about the world from Jaejoong’s books. He decided to take his chances, out or Jaejoong left him.

“Hyung, can you take me out? I want to see it,” Changmin asked as Jaejoong dropped his book. It took Jaejoong at least one minute to finally nod and Changmin couldn’t contain his excitement. He promised he would only take a minute view and then came back to the room. Slowly, Jaejoong opened the door and looked around. Once, he was sure no one was there, he told Changmin to come out.

What fell upon Changmin’s face was something he couldn’t recognize. It was bright but it felt so warm; it was the first time Changmin felt sun on his skin. Couldn’t help it, Changmin walked out in reflect to bask more on the sun. He passed the hallway and got into the garden. He didn’t realize he left Jaejoong behind. All he could think of was what his life would be from now on if he was free like this.

“Minnie ah!” Jaejoong’s panic voice caught his attention. He saw Jaejoong ran toward him from the hallway and Changmin wanted to wave for him to join him. But before he could, he felt his arm was taken by force by one of the guards. It was when Changmin realized he wouldn’t ever have his freedom.

Changmin cried, struggled, but it was useless as he was thrown back to the dark room; his prison. He could hear Jaejoong’s cries on the other side but it was soon stopped when he heard a loud slap. Changmin begged for Jaejoong to not leave him but there was no answer.

[Winter 1461]

It had been three years since he last saw Jaejoong, his supposed-to-be-caretaker, who turned up as his half-brother. Yes, Changmin had learnt everything he wanted to know in a hard way.  Once a week, there’s this man in mask that hurt him as the man shouted curses at him; most was the truth. A slap on his face was a slight punishment, mostly, his punishment ended up with whipped mark on his back.

Tonight was no different. Changmin slept with his chest on the floor as his back burnt him. They treated him obviously because somehow they wouldn’t let him die. How Changmin wished for death was extraordinary. He lost count how many time he tried to cut his wrist or neck or even bit his tongue. The only problem was they always knew and his suicide attempt always ended up in failure. Moreover, once he was healthy enough, they would call for the man in mask to torture him so bad until he was afraid to do anymore suicide. It worked out and Changmin was living like the dead; he wished nothing.

“…Hyung…” Changmin mumbled the name he missed the most. He felt so stupid because he used to hate Jaejoong. He thought Jaejoong played with him since he was the first prince and Changmin was the unwanted prince. Yet, all he could remember was his kind and sincere Jaejoong hyung who sometime would call him ‘Minnie…’. How he missed to be called like that.

Without realizing it, Changmin fell asleep as he dreamt of running in middle of nowhere. But then he stopped because he remembered he had nowhere to go. When Changmin opened his eyes, he didn’t know how many hours or days had passed. He felt incredibly weak as he looked around for any food. They always left food for him in the room after his punishment but he couldn’t find it now.

Changmin waited and closed his eyes again. The room was even darker when he opened his eyes again. He knew at least few hours had passed but then again there was no food. Changmin could feel the pain in his stomach grew more evident as the time passed. He was so weak and he couldn’t move or speak.

Maybe, they finally decided to let him die. Yet, the irony to die by starving was something Changmin hadn’t expected. He could hear his tummy growled so loud and it began to deafen him. Not forgot to mention now his throat was on fire, he needed water and he knew he would die of thirst first. It grew more painful and Changmin wanted to cry out, yet he had no voice or tears left.

Gasping for air, Changmin felt so suffocated all of the sudden as fear struck him. He knew from the beginning death was the only thing waited for him. Yet, once he faced it, it scared the hell out of him. Knowing there’s no one around him when it was finally time for him to go. Jaejoong’s face was the only thing he could picture as he struggled with his life.

It felt like forever until Changmin finally let go of everything and closed his eyes. Then, he felt light warm touch he had missed for so long. He tried to open his eyes and he did. He saw Jaejoong’s face. Not the one he remembered years ago. Jaejoong had grown up like him. He laughed at himself for his silly picture of heaven, if it existed.

“Changmin ah, please hang in there,” he could hear and see Jaejoong spoke as he felt a warm sweet liquid made contact with his burning throat. Changmin drank frantically in reflect as he let Jaejoong held him. If this was really heaven, Changmin wouldn’t mind staying.

“I’m so sorry, it takes me so long to come back here,” Jaejoong cried as his tears fell on Changmin’s face,” It’s okay…No one will ever hurt you again, Minnie ah…I still can’t free you but I promise I’ll someday. Please wait a little bit longer, okay? Please…Minnie ah…I’m so sorry…”

Changmin finally realized it wasn’t heaven. He was still living in hell, but at least, he got his Jaejoong hyung back. Changmin nodded as he promised Jaejoong he would endure everything until come the time Jaejoong gave him his freedom. It felt so good to finally be able to hope for freedom again. It reminded him of the sunlight that shone upon his face once.

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P.S. I dun even know if this part makes any sense w/ the others...Anyway, I've decided to do Jae's part for next one before moving on w/ the story...N I'll probably giving timeline of the events to clear things up, in case anyone is confused (even I'm confused writing it L0L) Like always, comment are love XD