“He still needs to stay overnight as a precaution, but all the test he’s done so far showed no major issues.”  Hyesung said as he busied himself with looking at the various health awareness posters lined up along the hospital hallway.  He had excused himself from the rest of the members, who were back in the lounge area of Junjin’s VIP suite, to take an overseas call from Kangta, and was now filling the guy in with the recent developments, especially with Junjin’s status. “We told him to stay longer, but he insisted on being discharged in time for the presscon tomorrow—or later.”  He added after checking his watch.  It was already half past one.

He heard Kangta let out a sigh at the other end “Well, that’s great news! You know, when I read the headlines, I really imagined the worst.  It’s a relief to know that he’s not in any serious danger.”

“Yeah…” Still, he wouldn’t even be in that position if not for me.

Hyesung shook his head to clear the negative thought off, and instead, allowed his mind to wander back to the words Junjin told him a while ago.

Give yourself a chance.

Junjin was right.  He was beating himself up for something he no longer had any control over.  It’s not like he could undo who he was, nor would hiding it help.  If something good came out of this whole ordeal, it was that he no longer had to hide or pretend to anybody.  Sure, he’d get ostracized by a whole nation, but now that he had time to think about it, would pretending really be the better option?

He wrapped up his call with Kangta, and was on his way back to Junjin’s room when he saw Eric walking to and fro just outside the door of Junjin’s suite.  “What are you doing here?  Where are the others?”

“They’ve left”

Hyesung gave the leader a once-over, and can’t help but notice Eric’s agitated state. A sudden panic came to him.  Had something happened to Junjin?  “What’s wrong?”

He was rushing towards to door to Junjin’s room when Eric blocked him.  “Nothing.  Jinnie’s asleep, and everyone left to give his family their privacy.”

He gave Eric another look.  It does not seem like the leader was lying, but why did he look so high strung.  “So, what are you doing here?”

“I—uhh, figured you might need a ride.”

“Oh, you didn’t have to.” He mumbled in reply, although he was glad that Eric stayed behind for him.  After all, he didn’t have anything but his phone—which was currently out of battery—on him. “What about Andy?”

When they found out about Junjin’s accident, it was Andy that took it the hardest.  Maybe it was because he allowed Junjin to stay back when he tried to pick him up that morning that he couldn’t help feeling partially responsible for it.  In any case, it was Hyesung that drove Andy's car on the way to Seoul, while Andy rode with Eric.

Eric had been against it at first, but Hyesung insisted, saying driving would help him clear his mind off other things. Plus, everyone knew he was always more comfortable being the one behind the wheel, than being a passenger. So in the end, Eric agreed to the set up.

“They’ve given Andy something to help with the nerves.  Plus, he’s seen that Jinnie’s alright, so I reckon he’s feeling better.  At least, he insists that he’s well enough to drive himself back home.”

“Nugu?”

Hyesung was settling himself in the passenger’s seat of Eric’s car, when Eric unexpectedly pose the question.

“Who what?” They had spent entire time it took them to travel from the VIP section to the parking lot in silence, so Hyesung couldn’t help but be confused with the question.

“Earlier…who was it that called?”

“Oh, it was Chilhyun-ssi” He replied passively as he buckled up his seatbelt.

“Chilhyun? You mean Kangta?”

“Well, do we know anyone else going by the name Chilhyun? Of course, it’s Kangta.” He had meant the reply to be a joke, but when he turned to see Eric’s cold expression, he couldn’t help but feel a bit of guilt at the way he snapped at him.  What was the guy’s deal anyway? Why was his mood so sour all of a sudden?

“Are you saying the guy still calls you? Does he even know?”

“Why wouldn’t he call me? And what do you mean by ‘does he even know’?” Hyesung replied a little more forcefully than he intended. He couldn’t understand the irritation that was obvious in Eric’s tone, but he couldn’t help being agitated by it too, especially when Eric was not making any sense—at least not to him.

It was Eric’s turn to face him. “About you. Does he know about how you feel?”

About me? Was he asking if Kangta knew about me being gay? “Well, yes of course he knows!”

Once again, there was silence between them—the kind that he hated.  Hyesung could sense Eric trying to gather his wits for a reply from the way he was gripping the steering wheel, could see the tension on the leader’s face, but couldn’t make anything out of it, and it was frustrating him.

Why would Eric think that Kangta would stop befriending him if the guy knew about him being gay? Could it be that this was how Eric honestly felt about his situation? Was he projecting his ideals on Kangta? Does this mean, this whole time, Eric was merely pretending to understand—to care?

“A-are you still hoping for another chance?”

Hyesung felt his heart drop at Eric's words. So, that was it? “Why?” Hyesung managed to ask before his voice betrayed him.  “You think I don’t deserve it?”

The long sigh that came from Eric right after was all he needed as a response.  Quickly, he unbuckled his seatbelt and reach out for the door handle.

“Wait, Sunggie…what are you doing?”  Eric said as he grabbed on to Hyesung’s arm, but he shook his hand off.

“Leaving.  I wouldn’t want to bother you with my sordid existence.” He said as he stepped out the car.

“No Sunggie…wait, that’s not what I meant!” Eric call out as he heard a car door being slammed shut and footsteps hurriedly moving towards him, but he didn’t slow down.  He didn’t even look back.

As much as he hated the guy for judging him that way, he couldn’t blame him either, just like how he couldn’t blame PD Yeo for making that remark about hiding in the closet. This was just how prejudiced their society was of gay people. His whole life, he’s witnessed the prejudice, witnessed how the LGBT community was treated like second-class citizens in their own country, and on a certain level, he too acted on it.  After all, wasn’t his charade a nod to that bigotry?

Jebal, give yourself a chance.

He had no doubt of the sincerity in Junjin’s words.  However, the dongsaeng was one of the very few people who didn’t judge based on the dictates of society, so his words may amount to nothing more than wishful thinking. 

Still he could try. Although, he had no idea how he was going to do it, especially now that he found out how Eric really felt about his situation.  He could leave Korea—leave everything and everyone he cared about behind—and start over somewhere where he could be accepted.  He had the money to do it, even have enough to start a small business for himself. Maybe he can ask Kangta to help him get settled in Canada, or he could go somewhere totally unfamiliar—where no one knows him personally—and do things on his own.

Then again, would doing this be enough to make him happy?

Hyesung carelessly waved off the loose police tapes that were hanging by his door before he punched in his security code. He’s not sure whether the earlier investigation turned off the reporters who were planning on camping outside his unit or if the building security drove them away, but he found his hallway empty, and he breathed a word of thanks to no one in particular for the small favour. 

As soon as he opened the door though, he heard a faint noise coming from inside his unit, and wondered if the police left the TV or the stereo on. True enough, he found the TV displaying a white noise image.

He was about to turn off the TV, when he noticed the DVD player just below it blinking a red signal. Curious, he opened the player to find an unlabeled DVD inside. Was it his? He couldn’t remember the last time he played something on the player.  It could be one of those homemade videos that Dongwan sometimes shares with the members and, after a moment of contemplation, put the DVD back into the player and pressed play.

It was indeed a video of him and the members, but something about it was odd.  For one thing, the video didn’t seem to make any sense—it was just a bunch of random stuff put together into a montage.  None of them seemed to be aware that they were being filmed, as well.  Plus, the video quality didn’t seem like it came from one of Dongwan’s cameras.  In fact, it seemed like it came from—

A sudden chill swept his body as he realized one thing. The video quality seemed like it came from CCTV videos—the same kind as the video that was leaked just yesterday.

He dropped the remote that he was holding and reached out for his phone, only to remember that it was dead. Anxiously, he looked around his unit.  All the lights were still off, save for the one in the foyer, causing the bright TV display to make weird shadows around the living room.  The wireless receiver of his landline was inside his study, and if he used the base speakerphone to call for help, it would surely alert anyone else who was in the unit with him.

He was trapped.

He looked back at the narrow hallway leading to the door.  More than a couple of rooms were attached to it—a lot of places for an intruder to hide. Should he take his chance to go to his study to call for help, or should he sprint towards the door.

He was still going over his choices, when he heard the beeping sound from his door’s security pad.

Someone was coming in.

A/N:  First and foremost, let me extend my apologies for those of you who were expecting a more proactive HS in this chapter.  I would understand how you guys expected that, considering what happened last chapter, but I guess old habits are hard to break!kkk

A bit of factoid to my readers: part of this chapter was actually included in my initial plan for a one-shot, and I am sooo happy to finally get the chance to write that part! Can you guess which part?kkk

Also, I initially intended the next chapter to be part of this one.  However, I figured you guys needed time to process the happenings in this chapter, before I throw you into another ride!kkk

As usual, I'm going to end this note with a thank you to my readers! Can't believe I'm 5 subs short of a hundred! wow! Thank you so much for the constant support and encouragement.  I'm also planning on giving a shout out to the added upvoters on my next chapter, so watch out for that and don't stop subbing, commenting and upvoting!kkk

P.S.: I wrote this story with HS' Because of You in the background.  A big thank you to the person who introduced me to this song (you know who you are!kkk).  It is now my favourite song in the world!kkk (Some of you may be wondering why I didn't know about the song before when I'm a self-proclaimed HS stan.  Well, I'm still a newbie fan and 17 years of Shinhwa history is too much for me to take in a couple of months, so cut me some slack!kkk)