pvo jiyong:

I woke up the next morning with a headache. I turn in bed and saw a woman.

but she was not blonde, and she wasn't extensions this time ...

kiko ... .. ...

I stood up at once, which caused her to wake up.

she was placed herself in front of me and she put her hand on my chest.

- Ji ... .. good morning honey ...

- Kiko ....

- Ji ... thanks for last night .... it was great .... as usual

- What happened last night ... kiko we do not ... .. I mean ... we have not really done anything?

- Like nothing hee? affection wrong?

- Everything! everything! everything is wrong! who you think you are ... Kiko. I'm not your toy out of here.

- Ji are in my room, and it was you who called me, remember.

- No! I .... ...

- Yes ...

- But only wanted to talk ... we went to a bar

- And we drank Ji .... and drank ... that problem?

- Kiko .... have someone ... I ... this should not have happened ... not now ...

- You have .... you have someone? Ji ... that's great but I have someone as well, and what? ... you know that a part of you will always be mine.

I kiss on the lips and I could not get away.

she went to the bathroom when I get out of bed, I was surprised to see me in shorts, but did not think about it, and got the rest of my clothes and I left the hotel without saying goodbye to her.

…….

pvo chaerin

-oppa?

- Are you here?

- Of course .. you don't see me? today there isn't schedules until much later what happens?

- Chae .... I want that baby

- Again with that issue? I told you I would not mind I love children, but I will not give up my career .... I will not ask you for maintenances ... and if you're missing it I will never would come to find you, you know. What's up?

- But ... you're seeing someone ...?

if there was something good for me to know so much jiyong ... it is that he could not even think of lying to me.

- Oppa what have you done?

- Nothing nothing.

- Oppa ... you went to Kiko las night right?

- how ...  how do you know?

- Because you smell of the most sweetest perfume for women that I know.... and I hate the sweet ....

- Chae I ...

- why are you here oppa?

- I…., I don’t know

- Oppa, we are not dating ... We wanted to try something more than friendship ... but we're not dating, though, I'm hurt to feel me so insignificant for you. I must go

- Chae no...

I shut the door quickly. and I ran to my room.

just few hours later, that he had been with me in my bed, he went looking for kiko ...

he refused _ to spend the night with me and he went after Kiko ....

I am so insignificant?

I know he deserves more than a few eyes too small and too exaggerated curves.

a hard and complicated character, but ....

I believed that after all these years ...

I believed ....

I believed in it ....

My mother always told me that I am no good enough,

I wasn't pretty enough to be succeed in the kpop.

I was a tomboy that I would not get that any guy to notice me ....

I sat on my bed and cried.

I felt dirty ... utilized ....

-unnie ...

-minzy ....

-unnie ....

she sat next to me and we cried together, I do not know if she had heard the conversation but .... she knew I was broken inside ...

my maknae .... my sweet maknae ....

We had always been inseparable.

I told her everything.

until I could not tell her everything.

being a leader is not an easy thing .... all who know what is being a leader of a group of kpop know what being a leader entails.

ease the  loads of the members.

show them the necessary strength in hard times.

many people thought I was not a good leader. but I really tried.

It is not easy leading a group and less when you have no the power to be the oldest.

You do not have that respect.

I instead had to have respect for my unnies but showing them the way.

you know?

I was so tired.

- Uh! slumber party? what are you doing?

- Daraunnie .... no ... we were just ....

- Chae .... you're crying? what happened?

she sat next to me, in the opposite side of minzy and she start to rub my back.

I hated this!

I did not want compassion! I hated compassion!