1 girl, 3 love interest, infinite twists. A fluffy romance with slight!angst where Kai is your anger-turned-devil ex who wants you back, Chanyeol the school pariah you protected from Kai mistakes your kindness for love and falls in love with you and you thinking you might be in love with your best friend D.O. who has stuck with through it all. This isn’t your typical love triangle, no way! Set in a South Korean high school with high regard for the academics and athletics, with little or zero regard for the arts.

I stopped reading on ch.11

Your title had me wondering who was going to be the one saying that—Chanyeol or Kyungsoo, I’m not even bothering with Kai considering their history.

The description made it obvious that it was going to be a cliché love story, which is something that I don’t normally go for, but since you asked for a review I’ll make an exception. Your description needs to have commas, especially if you’re talking about different people and situations, it’ll make it difficult for readers to keep up on what’s happening, even if it’s only the description.

For your first chapter you shouldn’t’ve added that flashback, it honestly would have been better if you’d kept Jongin and Raerin’s meeting out of it. It would give your readers more questions to ask, and give you their opinions. I notice how in ch.4 you wrote: “in which Raerin reflects on being Aunt Agony.”—I can guess your hidden meaning, and I shouldn’t be able to tell you right away.

Don’t over use parentheses; use a dash, semicolons, or start a new paragraph. It’s confusing when you put parentheses too close to each other.

When your characters are talking, don’t use an already written paragraph and add dialogue. When someone new is talking, always start a new paragraph. You add enough commas and periods to let the reader breath throughout sentences. Which is good, normally people just write a whole paragraph without punctuation.

The flow of the story is everywhere, I get confused as to what’s going on when you go from present time to flashbacks. Word of advice: don’t add flashbacks in the middle of a chapter, it’s confusing. It’s better if you start a new chapter with the flashback, that way you can give more detail to your characters past.

That whole thing with Jongin suddenly turning verbally abusive because he was drunk isn’t something that appeals to me as a reader. This story doesn’t sound like it’s based on a college campus, it feels like you’re writing about high school where the students are still immature and can’t seem to understand the concept of stopping a coward from doing things his own way.

If they’re already in college, Jongin shouldn’t be stuck in a 15-year-old’s mind set. Let me also emphasize on this: Jongin’s way of acting isn’t badass, he’s just a straight out bully who doesn’t understand the term of “hands to yourself”.

Badass—a tough, uncompromising, or intimidating person.
Bully—a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker.

There’s a difference, but it seems people tend to confuse someone who doesn’t like to follow rules for some browbeat. This is one of my pet peeves, which is why I don’t frequent school aus, especially when it involves the “bad boy” image. If Kai was badass, he wouldn’t even be bothering to start trouble unless someone else wanted to start a fight with him; so all in all, Kai is just a bully.

I’m not really feeling a connection with Raerin either, even though I’ve also gone through heartbreak myself I can’t feel any sort of mutual feeling towards her. It could be because I see her as a sort of Mary-Sue, although she said she treasured Jongin (Kai) she seems to act like their entire breakup wasn’t bothering her. She’s also an anonymous advice giver, who, for some reason, manages to fix everyone’s problems.

Your idea of adding an anonymous advisor is quite good, it’s not something I see often but making everyone agree to what she says is…meh. Not all of her advice can be correct, and maybe not everyone agrees to what she advices—different people, different minds.

I hoped this helped, and I hope I didn’t sound rude; I’m really not into school!au or cliché plotlines. Honestly, I think this could have been good if you had kept the reason as to why Kai and Rin’s relationship went sour until farther chapters, it would have kept the readers thinking that he had left her to go up the social ladder.

Her friendship with Kyungsoo could use a little more color, as in besides school and messaging each other through IM and hanging in a group, make them hang out alone and I’m not talking about being inside their dorm, make them go out like normal friends do.

And as for Chanyeol, if he’s going to be part of the love triangle, give them scenes outside their classroom. Also, it really bothers me that he’s been labeled as autistic when it’s obvious he doesn’t have it, it’s clear the poor giant is just awkward. Students and their labels, really.

So that’s it, good luck finishing your story.