I’m sorry (I hate u)

I love you (I hate u)

Forgive me

Taehyung felt the tears stream down his cheeks, he could hear his parents fighting in the living room. He was curled up against his door and tried to hold back his sobs. He felt so small, he hated this over everything.

    “I’m sorry!” his mother yelled. Taehyung heard a smack and his mother falling to the ground. ‘I hate you,’ he screamed inside his head. He hated his father for hurting his mother. His mother who had done everything for him and his siblings.

    “I love you!” his mother screamed through her tears. Taehyung heard himself sobbing. ‘I hate you!’ he screamed once more in his head and pulled his hair. He was going mad.

He stood up and rushed to the the living room. His father was just about to hit his mother once again, but Taehyung’s fist hit his father’s cheek first. His father stumbled back and looked at Taehyung with eyes filled with rage. Both stood there and stared at each other, Taehyung turned around and walked out the door, tears still streaming down his cheeks.

    “Forgive me,” he heard his mother before slamming the door shut.

His father would be calm most of the time, but Friday nights, like this one, were the worst. His father would drink, and drinking led to easy irritation, which the rest of the family had to suffer through. Taehyung kicked an empty bottle and listened to the echo it made in the empty alley.

Before knowing it he was at the old factory, he could see a fire burning in the distance, so he figured out someone else would be there. His steps echoed and bounced off the walls as he walked. It was a calming sound. He snapped out of his thoughts as the noise from the boys reached him. He smiled to himself, at least the boys made him happy.

He sat down on the free couch and looked at Jungkook and Seokjin. Both boys seemed okay with him there, and he didn’t feel like an awkward third wheel.

    “You look horrible,” Jungkook said after a moment of silence. Seokjin punched Junkook and looked at him with a ‘you-can’t-say-that’ look. Seokjin had always been the most well mannered of them all.

    “Thanks, not much better yourself,” Taehyung laughed in response. Jungkook clearly lacked sleep due to the bags under his eyes.

    “What brings you here?” Seokjin looked at Taehyung like he was trying to get answers just by looking at him.

Taehyung sighed. He loved how all boys knew each others’ problems and how they could openly talk about them.

    “It’s just my father again, I’ll go home later,” Taehyung knew it would be an explanation enough.

    “You know, Jungkook is going to live here,” Seokjin changed the subject smoothly and Taehyung was happy about that. Jungkook saw Taehyung’s questionable look after Seokjin’s statement and started explaining. In Taehyung’s ears it all sounded insane, but he liked it.

    “It could work, but what will you do during the winter?” Taehyung asked, curious, since he knew Jungkook would have it planned out.

    “I’ll save up money to rent a small apartment for a few months if I can’t stay for free somewhere,” Jungkook smiled, clearly proud of his plan. All boys three laughed, their lives were hard, but they still found glimpses of light in them and that’s what kept them going.