L POV

I dragged my body to the precious bed and nuzzle through the bed sheets and I couldn’t shake it off.. I couldn’t shake what I just felt.. I can’t shake the way he felt in my arms I bite my lips and let out a curse

This is not normal Myungsoo.. ugh who am I kidding I’m hardly close to an alien on this point..!!

But soon my heart sink into this feeling.. was he sad ? was he alone ? or just tired..! Hoya was being so Un-Hoya like and it just makes me tremble.. how much have he been lonely tired or sad to seek shelter in me ?

Me the useless member..! 

I tried hard to close my eyes and let me sleep this feeling off.. but the nightmares keep waking me up and the nightmare was only me blaming myself.. till I doze off eventually..!

-

Alarm went off I kick it on the floor.. and nuzzle even further in my pillow.. someone knocking the life out of my door and I growl: “WHAT THE FUUUUUCCC”

Gyu: hands crossed, “were you about to curse ? was that a MYUNGSOOYAHH”

L: I shake my head avoiding his morning eyes stares, “no… nope” 

Ok morning Gyu is really scary.. and I don’t know why he keeps shouting on me.. at this point I’m starting to hate his guts..!

Gyu: Waving, “so what are you waiting for..?” eyes widen if that’s possible “get your of bed KIM MYUNGSOOYAAAAHHHH”

I hated my name.. I pull myself almost tripping from lack of concentration and I think the blood rushed to my head so I sway a bit he hold my hand to steady me

Gyu: “what’s wrong ?”

I stare at him.. is he serious..?

L: letting go of his hand, “nothing .. your voice is extra annoying this morning” /smirk/

Gyu: With a hurt expression, “you are extra Hoya this morning” /narrow his eyes on me/

Oki there’s no need for me to say that the blood maybe again rushed through my useless head as my face start burning with yesterday flashback

Gyu: “Damn it !!”, he suddenly ran away covering his mouth and nose while screaming, “HE GOT SICK STAY AWAY FROM MYUNGSOOO”

I sigh.. they don’t wanna get sick I understand.. but they don’t understand that my sickness is called LEE freaking sad/lonely/tired non determined HOWOOON..!

I walk out the room to see them all circling me.. Yeol hand suddenly land on my forehead and his face was serious: “Is it the blonde effect ?”

I bite his hand.. because he was being Yeol as usual..!

They all laughing on Yeol that start shouting from pain totally dramatic while getting close to Gyu and Gyu shouting on him not to touch him cause he fear getting infected so he hide behind amused Woohyun who likes the attention.. and I smile at them and look ahead to see Hoya getting Milk from fridge.. his hair is messed in heavenly way and he turn a second saying: “Want co (pause) coffee ..?”

Is he talking to me ..? 

I stand there looking at him basically in the middle of the kitchen.. like waiting to be told what to do

Hoya: “L”, rising eyebrow

L: “Oohh.. me”, I smile “I thought you were talking to”

Hoya: “well Dongwoo went off so do you want or not”, his voice was in rush.

I shake my head in a no.. and my smile went to frown but I can tell he was disappointed..!

I walk in and made my own coffee.. he stare at me from behind

L: “What ..?”

Hoya: “Nothing”

Ok that wasn’t nothing.. you don’t say nothing with I want to punch you look..! so I shift and try to ignore it as always.

Ok I know I’m showing a little bit temper but he just.. I mean after yesterday he just went back to I don’t exist attitude and it sux to just walk away from me like it don’t meant a thing

And it don’t but why the hell I feel it does ..!! 

HOYA POV

Have you ever heard about the term of tasting a bit of heaven get you addicted.. well I was this close to yesterday but I refrain myself.. and yet I’m acting this way as if his every move should be only directed to me..!

Wth Hoya..!! you walk away from him last night as soon as the van reached to a stop.. what do you want him to think or how the would you want him to act like..?

I know I’m not being reasonable at all

But the fact that he’s too pinkish with that gold like hair that totally messed up makes him look like a sleeping cat that been yelled at to wake up.. 

And god I wanna reach out to him like stupid Yeol

Look at them.. sitting that close from each other while Yeol ruffling his hair.. I mean how on earth does he allow people to do .. ughhhh

Ok I’m burning in the corner.. he suddenly look at me across the room.. why is he looking.. and why I don’t look away anymore..?

My eyes as if they are having staring contest with him.. keep looking at those pure black orbs.. he is the definition of cuteness and yet he got eyes that make your whole body get chills from one cold stare you are doomed but this one wasn’t cold

It something else that I can’t tell nor stopped gazing at filling that hungry need from yesterday.. I keep wanting his attention on me..!

And I sip from my glass eyes not leaving his..

And I swear I saw him gulp and shift to look at talkative Yeol..!

I smirk knowing that he wasn’t listening to Yeol.. as if I felt victorious to have him focus on me for seconds..!

And then I want to hit myself with a giant plate..!

-

Another recording.. nice .. let’s get to the part of the dance already.. they are all in position except him talking to Yeol and sending waves at our fans.. that moment when you wish that Gyu snap on people to get in position.. he don’t.. why ? because he choose to stop being ready and go chat with his boyfriend.. I mean Woohyun but you know these two.. not caring what time or where to show their affection.. get a grip well you ..?

Ok I might be a bit jealous but even if you kill me I won’t admit that ..! WooGyu won’t shake me..!

L POV

I don’t want the song to start.. please god don’t.. let call it a day I’m sure fans will be good with fan service that I’m throwing right now.. anything but not to be confronted with the devil.. I mean Hoya god stop being mean Myungsoo

I know the song is about to start shortly.. I’m ignoring the lil myung voice that says get back in there you coward.. and I close my eyes a bit to be suddenly pulled back hard by the wrist I reach to see who and I felt like being captured with the devil.. but why on earth I had a huge stupid smile while fans kept shouting on Hoya and he look at them saying: “I need to borrow him for the dance”, Smirking.

That was cheesy.. fan service cheesiness.. and yet I smiled like a child getting candy lots and lots of candies.. I mean I smile till you can’t see my features anymore..!

He reach our position and turn me to face him.. I put the cold face on.. he frowns a bit.. I rise my hand to touch his.. his stare wasn’t cold dance stare.. and I say nothing

Hoya: “What is it”

L: “Huh ..?”

Hoya: “Stop this ..!” Ok his voice was a bit not like a whisper,

L: “W..wwhaatt..?”

Hoya: “This .. stop being like”

L: On edge, “like what ..?”

And it started and I bite my lip and his stare was so tense I felt as if I was being punched in the guts..! I had no idea what he means.. what he want from me.. if I smile he will says stop smiling and if I stay still he wouldn’t like it either..

Does he want me to disappear ..?

-

I reach to our room backstage and something is telling me I wasn’t alone as soon I slam the door behind me it open again and I turn to find him standing there

Ok I get it he wants to hit me.. I close my eyes harshly saying: go ahead.. just let it go 

HOYA POV

He make me stoned there watching him getting ready for me to hit him.. wait.. he’s asking me to hit him.. as if he allows me to hit.. WTHHH

I reached forward till it’s a few inches separate us and he drew some air in , his eyes still shut.. I felt my hand trembling of rage and disappointment.. I know I was a complete jerk.. I know I was always laughing with them and ignoring him.. I know that I yelled at him more than once to get the hell away from me.. I know but..

I never really thought he think that way.. of me..

While it’s.. the complete opposite.. my eyes are starting to get wet and my head went to that siren sound and at this point I didn’t care

- 

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him as much as I can.. I rest my head to the same spot I did last night

And god

It felt like being dragged to home..!

I heard him saying a strangled muffled: “HOWON”

A selfish greed
I hate myself
for being like this
A clinging obsession
I really hate it
I shout for this damn love
Crazily, sadly, sadly, I want you

I am always looking at you anxiously
But now you are forbidden
Sadly, sadly, I want you

[Infinite – Request]

I don’t feel like letting go.. at least not yet.. I’m still yearning 

STAY TUNED FOR THE UPDATE.. ^^