(Hoya P.O.V)

Million thoughts are running through my head

I was hurt !

But so was he ..

Being the centre of each one's glare at dinner make my stomach flip

I hated me

But there was a blonde freak there eating silently with big pile of black aura forming above his head

They all can tell when myung is pissed

And the dark circle under his eyes are giving more dramatic effect to my guilt

Gyu look at him and then stare back at me

Ouch !

As soon he finishes he went up took his plate and wash it and mutter something with that edgy voice close to:”goodnight”

Gyu again stare at him and back to me

I shrug a what !!!

He glare more

Before I can flee he held on my wrist when no one was left:” He's only back today, could you please give him a break”

I'm on the verge of tearing up .. my chin was down and my eyes were heavy

He suddenly held on my chin and now with less y gyu voice: “is everything OK? ?”

I shake my head and laugh

One bitter laugh I whisper: “He don't want to deal with my anymore” pause “ I guess I just screw up stuff for good”

I did not expect to be hugged by gyu

It was weird

And did I say weird ? It was beyond ing weird

It was 100 percent one of those awkward moment that howon shouldn't recall nor remember

..

We basically exist to bully each other

I wasn't one of those members that needed the leaders concern or affection

Naaah

That never happens

So damn me for being too ing emotional because he rarely show concern to me.. his voice was calm and soothing while his hand start running on my back: “it's going to be fine”

My eyes were tearing in lame way and I want to stop being lame but I couldn't

So I laugh

And he still made the shhhhh

That's the moment when I told him everything

I spilled it all .. !!

A huge sigh comes after my finished rushed words

I stare blankly at the floor waiting kyu to snap out of his daze and start forming words

Like real words

I start thinking about how myung always look at the floor

Floors are kind of good

Was he always waiting ?

For a response..!

Like i'm waiting right now for this old man to ing register

I mean how hard is it to take that I have big fat huge crush on myung since I started breathing and then this crush were buried till he free it with a kiss

Classic sleeping beauty tale !

I'm sweating for good

Thinking I might as well kept my mouth shut

But all this tension it's take a curve of too ing much

I can't handle myung ignorance without others eyes start judging me  

And I'm judging me

But I can't figure what to do as well

At last he let out a sigh after ages ofc

I raise my eyes to see him laughing a bit: “I don't know if that's better than being in wrong term” he pause “ I mean obviously now you are not on good term either but before..” He pauses again thinking “ I thought you just hate him before and it really breaks my heart howon to see him try each time” then he start laughing “ now you want to try” laughs more “oh dear god… myung is karma”

I laugh nodding how much of that word is true

Myung is karma !!

I can't run away from him .. I can't turn away from him and it pull you in to turn it back on you

He reach for me

But I reached more for him

He breaks my walls and I let it fall within me

Gyu:(he lean in and place hand on my shoulder) “so now what”

I shrug

Gyu: “you have zero actions .. and lack of words .. at least myung show u in actions but really what do you offer him ?”

He pauses as I look at him “you made him into this.. FIX IT !!”

He start getting up and before he left “ btw.. I still mind the .. “ he's getting pink shade and look away.. “ u know .. what you ..” He gulp and I almost burst laughing “ the whole thing between you is .. not that ok .. ok!!” He raise his voice dramatically “you are free to make up but no more than that.. I forbid your ” He then gave me the ‘I'm watching you gyu eye’ even though I can't see his eyes this way !!

I call it off a day

Sleep on it

Break this cycle of random ty day stuffed in one day

24 hours

And it pass if you sleep

But what is sleep

My mind went on and on about what to do

Part of me hated him for ignoring me

Another part kept whining how much I missed him

And there's that part that want to creep in their room and crawl on his bed

The left of me was still with gyu words

I whisper them aloud: “fix it ..”

****

I'm having my cereal .. when yeol walk in gyu asked him about myung if he got any sleep while giving me meaningful look

I stare at yeol

He nods: “sleeping pills and out of this freaking universe”

I nod

At least he slept

Speaking of devil

I caught breath in when a blonde frowning boy appears, hair messed up and yawning like one lazy cat

I smile without knowing the I did it

But his eyes meet my smile

And he pout with a frown before looking away

Cute..!

His steps are heavy .. he poured himself a coffee and after the first sip he let a breathy : “good morning”

I chuckle while everyone respond

He frown at me again

Ok definitely not working

(L P.O.V)

It's a nightmare .. I feel I'm having a hangover but I hadn't drink ..!!

He's soo amused smirking, laughing and looking so happy

It ing hurts

I keep frowning even while talking to gyu or yeol

My eyes are focused on him

Why on earth he's happy !!

Ugh

I went to shower and almost gasp at my reflection

I look like *face balm*

And it's not the cute kind

I took a hot shower and manage to get white T and black jacket with black skinny

And there's isn't enough blankness on the world to show how I'm feeling right now !

My phone rings and I already know so I answer: “yees yees hyung we are ready”

And I kind of assume we are !!

I look in the living room to find him chatting with dongwoo

Don't be a brat kim myungsoo they’ve done this since forever

But then dongwoo saw me

And then he leans

Oh no he didn't

He whispers something in his ears and squeeze on his shoulder blades

And I'm making a fist

Damn it

Damn me

Damn this

I shout:” we are gonna be late” and stomp out

I can hear dongwoo laugh

Footsteps are catching behind

I slip in a seat and he slips in the seat beside

Knee to knee..

I look at them next each other like nothing

And yes I'm talking about our knees

He let: “go ahead say I'm bullying you”

My eyes catch his

And he gulps

But he kept the stare

There

I turn to look at window

this

He's close

And his heat is close

And I almost forget how it feels

To be next to hyung

To feel his skin

My eyes shut for a bit

Damn it myung snap out of it

I flinch suddenly

The feel of skin !!

My breath caught in my throat I turn to face him

His hand was holding mine

I lost words

I'm staring at him staring at our hands

My heart is picking it's rate after a relapse

He pull on it

Making me pull in now

I try to yank it away from his grip

But his finger start to lace into mine

And I don't know if I already gave up

But my hand sure obey

And then he bring it to his lap

And his other hand went to fill the empty side

I've been hand sandwiched people !!

And I don't know how to react

My face sure reacted

I feel hot I bite my lower lip and turn to face the window again

As if it don't phase me

From the corner of my eyes

I see him mesmerized in them

Intertwined collide just like something from outer space

But amazed

It fit together

I try to hide a smile

Damn it

Not only I give in way too ing soon

I'm being a burnt marshmallow from one high school level skinship  

GROW UP !!!

****

(Hoya P.O.V)

I don't know what got in me

Call it a freaking relapse .. call it instinct

Call it pathetic

I just want it

And I just went for it

For the first time I can see his face with other colors than coldness

I can see him less pale

Less tired

And I almost catch that crease smile of his eyes

He's fighting this

But not entirely

His hand is getting warm against my two hands and I like it

I like it so I pout

Watching his other hand holding his lazy chin

I want that too

I blink and shrug before reaching to the other and embracing them above each other his face snap on me and he blinks before finding his voice: “are you ing joking now lee howon !!!”

It send shivers through my spine to see this side of him

It's freaking hot I bite my lower lip before adding:” you don't seem to mind that much”

His Jaw gape at me trying to say something but can't

His cheek are trying hard not to be flustered but again can't

And I find myself smirking when our eyes meet

I held that questionable stare of him

And lower my face .. he's confused frowning

And I kiss the back of his hand into my grip

I felt the reflex of him pulling away

But I saw clearly his face falling into a complete red !!!

He didn't look away though I gave him that for credit

He held my gaze but I see the beating in his chest

Oh how much I want to bury myself in there

Kissing those beat till it calms in my presence

I lean again now not looking at him

I haven't realized that I was beyond red as well

I caress the skin of hand and into his palm he want to say something but nothing comes out

There's a loud music from our manager

And thank freaking god we were at the edge of the seat almost falling

Myung never pick the first seats as well

And I'm thankful

I whisper on his flesh: “I swear to god kim myungsoo I missed the hell of you”

That's when I raised my gaze

And his was different

Was different but same

Same as before

Warm loving gaze and my heart is almost ripped away to see it again

Again for me !!!

The manager suddenly rise his voice: “hey myung are you fine in there !!”

Myung shake his head lightly completely not knowing why he did it as he froze afterward

I find it endearing

Too endearing I want to cup his face and kiss him right here

Right now

Manager: “yaaahhh !!! Howon what are you doing back there !!”

Hoya: “aiishhhh hyung you are Loud ! I'm sleeping can you turn that down as well” staring ahead adding “mute both of you please”

The Manger roll his eyes at me: “just let me reach and I will mute your nosy head !! Stop sleeping you will get puffy eyes !! You don't want to scare people in there !! Have some conscious you are going with the visual in there”

I heard myung laugh and my chest tighten upon hearing that pleasant sound I look at him and raise my eyebrow whispering: “am I ??”

It meant as a joke I was beaming but his laughter died to something serious and I'm all sweaty

Myung: (shrugging) “if you will get puffy eyes then no”

I'm grinning again

I want to recap what just happen but then his dimples appear and I'm there staring stomach fluttering and heart beating

Hoya: “i won't mind you puffy tho”

Yes !! He's beaming more I'm blind right now I felt my hand reach to his dimple caressing my thumb in there

My breathe again hitched and I whispers: “I'm gonna show you how much I missed you”

He held my hand away from his face

I felt he's throwing it off

But his fingers laced mine

And it stays near our knees

He look away at window saying nothing

I don't need anything more too

Gyu was right

Myung lack words but replace it with actions !!

Dongwoo was right as well .. one word upset him off and another made him lean

A heart like crystal

They were all right but why I couldn't figure it out

He only wanted my attention.. he only wanted what I lack to show !!

My head fall on his shoulder and I felt him stiffen but lean as fast

Myung is karma

myung made me cheesy as !!

I'm sleeping grinning

And I felt his finger caress the hair on my forehead

Till it stops when a voice Break from in front: “so are you two good now”

Myung whines: “hyuuung”

And I felt like shushing him so I whisper: “I'm the only hyung you know”

He snorts

And I lean much much closer

This body is fully howon property! !! *evil Santa laugh*

Myung:” you are scaring me”

Hoya: (sigh) “fine I won't laugh”

He snort again.

****

He get his make up ready and was chatting with some of the female cast

Well they were chatting with him and I don't really blame them

Have you seen myung !!

But still it did hurt a bit when I caught his dimple smile

His eyes were looking at me now and there was a glint

I just came out from makeup room

He bows suddenly and reach to me beaming

That might hurt me more than before because I almost gasp seeing him next to me all smiles

My heart was shouting like a teenage girl as he said:”you look good”

I look away

Does people actually see this !!

This Lil is making me blush in public and I'm panicking when I felt him near, eyes searching mine adding lovingly: “Hoya hyung”

I could try to reach my heart and check but I know anyway

I'm having a heart attack

He laugh and it's endearing

Showing those dimples crystal clear

That one for me !!! Eat cast lady !! *sorry sometimes I'm less mature/ eye roll/ fine not sometimes

And fine

Immature !!*

He tilt his head: “we are suppose to fight today”

He was talking about the script

And he don't mean the usual pickering no it gets for real

Like physical

I smirk: “what a day to make up right !!”

He laughs

I can die peacefully now

Hoya: “you are making me weak” that was like a whisper and it suppose to be at my head but seeing his face Tinting

I'm satisfied

Myung: “like real fighting hyung ... “ He pouts “ like you are a jerk a real jerk !!!”

I snort: “ ok got it and stop !!” I pat his head and stop as I realize what I just did “geez myung you want to say I'm jerk that much”

That stupid kitten was nodding as if it's the purest thing on earth and I find myself sighing and leaning into him way too close

His hand swiftly push me away

Make me granted

And he coughs

My face turns red completely

The is wrong with me !!

Did I just do that for real

My eyes were looking right and left checking for something to snap

For some eyes to judge

To a pointed finger

But my beat relaxes

Nothing of that happens

He scratch his neck.. look at me and then walk away

I was there standing dumbfounded

We start shooting

Each word I say is venom

His stare is killing me of guilt even though that's not for real

But still

Maybe once he might felt that was real between us

Maybe he thought I hated his guts

And when his eyes easily turn to hurt

My chest hurt

Maybe I did hurt him alot

Why do I realize late ?

When he scream cut !

Myung pouts

And I find myself smiling and saying repeatedly: “sorry soooryyy soooryyy … hyung sorry”

And he smiles innocently

The crease in his eyes

The dimples

And that shake of his head lightly

The butterflies in my stomach

I look at him

And he stop smiling

And that edgy round full eyes are directed to me

Intense

Myung stare has always been intimidating! !

Myung: “what's wrong ?”

Now I'm shaking my head and smiling

And he smiles back

my life

I think I'm in ing

How to say this without be ing cheesy

I'm not falling

I'm already there

On the ground

But it feels as if I'm in the sky itself

I'm falling to the ground but flying

I'm in ing deep

I'm in love !!!

I sigh

The shooting continues and I find myself staring at the director’s screen

He like myungsoo

And he zoom into him

And even though I know he's alive breathing and right ing there

I still mesmerized at screen

he's breathtaking!

Between acts his eyes search mine and I feel frozen whenever he does that

He end up smiling

And I end gaping

What a freak show I am into

Great ing great lee howon !!

When it get physical

The directed start giving me instructions

We throw punches

I nod and look at myung

Faking a punch and he's all pouty again I start apologizing

I'm such a softie for this kid !!

He snort pushing me away

And me but the slight push makes me go insane !!

(L P.O.V)

I'm sweating

This day has been good for all

I try to block my feelings but they keep rushing back like a storm

I want to be alright

Pick another day to be myungsoo !!

I try to steal anything from him

And the fact he's willing is making me greedy

I'm all smiles even the director and make up noona compliment my spirit

Geez yesterday I must have shown them my horrible side

Sorry .. XP

And it starts

I look at hyung eyes and he was into this and so I am

It's easy

I can relate

I keep telling myself that

But then we throw punches and I found myself on the floor

Hyung hover on me and I had to suppress the urge to bite my lower lip

His face wasn't helping

Flushing but trying to maintain

The director yelled NG

What a shock !!

Hyung was delivering wrong lines I start laughing and he ruffle his hair frustrated saying:” quit it kim myungsoo”

I laugh more: “hyunnng”

He close his eyes and there's a smile on his face: “don't hyung me”

He turn his face watching director giving instructions to lights and adjusting his angle then he look back at me and his eyes shift to sky

The fact he didn't move because they told him not to

He's sweating and he wouldn't look at my eyes

I can feel him breathing hard and I'm smirking at the sight in awe

He clear his throat: “don't we get to move to wipe our sweats or something ..” He sigh a bit and I find myself smiling widely he's not looking anyway “ I mean the weather is not really helping it's kind of” his eyes lock at mine and he lose words I chuckle more and he deeply frowns

Myung: (clearing my throat) “so do you suggest taking few layers ?” my hands both was supporting my head from the floor and he look at me flustered

I snort

Hyung arm view will be appreciated right now I try not to think about that though !!

He raise his eyebrows: “were you always like this !!” He's amused and his teeth trying to capture his own lower lip … the faint blush spreading to his ears

He starts absently scratching them

Adorable !!!

Myung: “then what !! You thought I'm always cute and innocent? ? Like forever !!” I'm chuckling as he shake his head saying: “naah actually I always knew”

There's a glint in his eyes

So seductive

So tempting for me to misbehave

And I find it encouraging

Challenging

I slip my hand from under my head and graze his inner thigh

His head lower and he gasps

Tempting

He whisper: “myungsoo” his eyes are half lidded and I wet my dry lips

Making circles with my thumb against that ridiculously tight jeans

He was hot

Breathtaking

And when his voice went lower: “people ..” He couldn't finish that word as he close his eyes trying not to lean .. he stumble a bit and open them fully: “stop..please”

I meant to just

Play with him

Or maybe just show him how I am not what he think I am

But

It's ing affecting me

The burn of his eyes

The whispers of his voice

The hitched unstable breathing

The chest beating

His warm thighs

It's all affecting me in bad bad bad way

I'm burning under him

And I slipped my hand off him

I know my hand wasn't obvious in that angle but anyone watch our face changing might probably knows

I'm losing my mind because that's more even hot

He stand up as soon I let go and a bit stumbling .. he bow to staff saying he's taking a break

I can't breath myung !!

I requested water and start sipping

My thoughts went to him

What's he's doing right now

I almost whimper as images kept rushing through my head

No myung nooo

hoya won't

stop imagining this !!

Can this pants gets any ing tighter !!

5 minutes later and he still look not composing any yet

I mentally laugh

When our eyes met

He shakes his head saying: “shut up”

I nod saying: “come here” while laying same position he cursed under his breathe and I snort as he obey

Like a good boy

Before counting hyung eyes shut breathing in and out

I studied his face features for the thousands time

Perfection!

START !

his eye changes and I try not to show how much I'm in awe because he pull it off swiftly like it doesn't affect him like it doesn't phase him

People wouldn't know how much he's flustered right now

And I try hard not to think about how to it feels to be hot and bothered and pressed against him

It ended

And so he stand as fast as he could leaving me there

He completely disappear as I start shooting my other remaining scenes

And now I see the karma in this

I am here stuck and he's somewhere relieving himself

Damn it myungsoo stop thinking

Oh wait what did she just say

Which line are we

Ok you need to stop communicating with your brain and more communicate with real people that's not your brain

I dimple smile and receive a playful hit on my shoulder saying: “myungsoo yah”

I'm blushing to get caught

I raise my head and apologize to find hyung there looking at me

Not that chill flustered hot bothered anymore !

Just me ..

Forever !

Sigh

****

The ride was silent for some reason

And I didn't trust myself to speak nor initiate any physical contact

Because

1. I was still ing hard

2. Still

3. Forever

4. Me

We enter dorm and it was soundless even after saying: “we are home” I add :”honey” and hyung chuckles at me

Oh boy he's not that mad good !

I walk in front yelling: “yeol ahh..???”

And got hit by a pillow from behind I look at hoya and he smirks: “why that's your first one to call !!”

I shrug while he calls dongwoo keeping his gaze on me

I pout

He's all laughing

Great now we tease each other openly

Goals !!

My next name was kyu and he made vomiting expression I start laughing: “just go and find the others .. geez such a kid”

He sticks his tongue before leaving

Aiiish that tease

After a minute we look at each other across the living room as realization hit us

We were alone !!!

He scratch his nape and I try not to over think of it

He start saying: “let's shower and call manager to bring food”

I nod once and then twice He chuckles: “go now”

I pout

I only needed a hug

Aiishhhh

Hyung was absolutely right a shower was beyond needed

I sigh as my thoughts travel back to him .. to his face .. to the feel of his thigh

Those damn tight jeans

I get out .. get dressed and took a towel to dry my hair but then felt lazy so I pull on a hoodie and cover my head so I won't get sick

Hyung was in sweat shorts like mine

Knees resting on coffee table and he's taking bites of pizza with beer on edge near him

Manly

The first thought that came cross my mind

Resemblance was the second

And as he saw me

He startle with a faint blush

Cute was the third

I smile and he pat the seat beside him

I slump next feeling now the skin of his exposed thighs against mine and I mentally curse

No tight jeans anymore

He hands me a slice and i take a bite

Myung: “beer..?”

He nudged my shoulder: “get your off and get your own”

My hand went to his beer and he gape at me

I take a sip and he made I don't care face

And when I made a noise after ‘ahhh’

He says: “ you”

I almost choke as he smiles

He's blinding me !!

We watch a show although our eyes are glued at screen I don't hear a word

Except feel hyung’s hand caress my forehead

Hyung’s laughter and I gaze up to glance at him as my head was in his lap

His hand will caress my face abit

My nose and lips and I will chuckle as he still look at the screen and not me

When I couldn't make him look I anticipate his hand movement till it reach my lips and *bites*

Hoya:” OUUUUCHH !!”

I beam and he look at me with a pout

I stop and hold his hand bringing his finger and kiss the pain away

He's grinning but blushing same time

And he's not pulling away

I can't take it anymore

My hand reach to his nape pulling him to lean down to me

His smile faint and his voice breaks against my skin few inches apart: “myung… there's something I need to…” I close the gap separating us

He caught off guard but respond fast to it

His lips were soft and eager pressing firmly into mine

Wanting more

Needing more

Talking more than words

How much I miss this

How much I miss the way hyung’s taste

Both my hands laced on his neck desperately playing and pulling on the Little hair there

And when it gets rough

He gasps and I tilt my head more wanting to deepen the kiss much more sliding my tongue inside him.. warm tingly and needy

nibbling and tasting

I felt him sigh into the kiss

each angle .. tasting all of him

A taste of something I shouldn't have

But it feels right !

Each time it does

Have you ever Waited for a click of emotions ?

Have you ever waited to feel certain thing but can't !

With hyung it felt all of the emotions rushed in one

And I moan when his tongue dance with mine

Tangled leading me through his.. and playfully nibbling my lower lip

Rushing almost exploding

It taste like the stars

When his voice break into: “myung” and I needed air

I breathe harshly and his nose is touching mine

Resting our foreheads

And his eyes are shut

That sharp jaw like a painting

My finger start tracing his feature one by one

Mesmerized. . Hypnotized

And his expression changes to a smile

But he still not looking at me

So I reach up

on his lower lip then pecking on it lightly He groans

Then i Kiss his nose

Cup his face and place kisses on each close lid.. wanting them to open like magic I mumble: “there now open”

He break into giggles

Deep blush spreading to his ears

And I am smiling and kissing him like an idiot

He shakes his head a bit: “I really need to .. say this” opening his eyes and looking through mine

I feel my heart picking it's rates

The stare intense

“myung you are so damn black”

I start laughing saying what the hell and he adds: “you are every inch of me and I'm feeling more like you each day” I kiss his nose interrupting: “but I am more like you”

And he chuckles: “stop being adorable. ..” sighing dramatically. . Then he cup my face again: “it's too late for this.. everyone might know this but I still figure I need to say it out loud for you..”pause

“Myung I…”

He's staring at my face

Like wanting to figure something out

Like he's inside internal battle and he doesn't know how to come out

How to find words

And then he close his eyes again

I'm feeling all emotions again rushed not knowing what to feel exactly

Hoya: “I feel there wasn't a day where I could simply deny you .. since the beginning myung” his voice trail .. opening his eyes again

Seeing them teary

I reach up and peck him fully on the lips

He respond even if it was fast

I know

Now I do

Then i smile: “I love you too.. lee howon”

His face red and probably mine too but I giggle at him .. pointing at his face and covering my mouth..!!

But hearing that manly laughter and getting a smack on the head before crashing our lips again into a Passionate deep slow kiss I moan in content

And he hover on me kissing all over my face mouthing: “I love you” between each kiss

 

The TV noise is merely a background

Hyung’s laughter.. voice .. hyung’s I love yous..hyung my name

My laughter and whimpers

And the sound of the skin

I was a bit of him

And he was always a bit of mine !!

 

When a purple look almost like a black ..!

 

We woke up tangled

Me crushing him in a bear hug

He sigh smiling at me and I find myself nuzzling more into his neck

then his phone screen beams

Kyu:

“NOT OK …!!!” =.=*

we burst into laughs and went hugging more pretending we saw nothing.

 

****