CHAPTER VIII

THE PERFECT VILLAIN

“I must be cruel to be kind”

-William Shakespeare: Hamlet-

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The Apartment

Amber stood up from the couch and walked through the door. The door had been knocking roughly. It might be Krystal.

“Why you have to knock the door that way,” he muttered. As opening the door, he greeted Krystal with his smiles, “Krys, where have…”

The smile disappeared when he looked through her eyes. Her redden eyes, and traces of tears on her cheeks depicted the same expression when they had met at France for the first time, months ago.

“Krys, what’s happened?” He said in worry.

Krystal was to explode again. But, at the end, the furious, anger, and wound wall that she had built on the way up there suddenly crumbled. The tears cracked again. She put her arms around his neck, spilled the tears on his white shirt. Amber was standing still. This was the thing that he had been worried all the time. He guessed and was really sure that Krystal already knew the truth. Like what he had known a long time ago. He was someone already walk the plank. That was the truth, the truth that stayed serenely beneath his chest for so long time ago.

===

Amber told all the truth that he had been avoiding all the time. Without any bad intention, the solemn reason that he had kept all along for himself —was, he didn't want to ruin all happiness that seemed so real for her. The silence hill moved into their apartment, fell through their shoulder. No one tried to speak out after what was spoiled, the heart disease that cramped in his chest, right through his heart.

“That’s all. Like every one said, probably, miracle is the thing that I need the most, right now.” He said that as the final wrapping sentence of the truth that was already discovered by Krystal.

At the other side, Krystal was sitting and acting in silent all along. Not any single words that came out from her lips. Too hard to believe, but it was real. At the some points, she believed like what they had said before, miracle probably was the thing that he needed the most right now.

Krystal finally whispered after a long break, “Miracle?” And Amber just nodded helplessly.

Sinking into the depth of desperation, she spoke in one word, asking for any sense possible reasons beside miracle. For her, miracle wasn't the word that she wanted to hear now. It felt equally the same with nothing to do after all, falling in nothing-to-lose kind of circle. And that wasn't her thing. She couldn't allow that word became a fortress for her own happiness. Hence, she needed to put a fight, made a clear statement for Amber, “So, you will give up on this sh*tty miracle? In spite give your best to convalesce?”

It wasn't a word game that could be won with yes or no answers, he didn't answer it, left Krystal in perplex —confusion. He seemed to think in depth.

Almost year and half he tried to convalesce. But when a faith already spoke out, it couldn't be tamed by people. When the faith didn't run like what it ‘should,’ a bunch of excuses came out to press down the desperate feeling. He tried as good as he could to find reasonable excuse. In the end, he said with eyes on the floor that could be so refreshing at this moment, “Krys, probably, miracle is not for me. But it was happened for us.”

He fathomed a reasonable conclusion as an excuse. Miracle? He knew that it was just a word to console himself.

“What do you mean?” Krystal asked, there was a sob voice that was to hear by now.

Amber turned his head, looking at Krystal who sat beside him on the couch. He bit his lip, tried to arrange an explanation. It wasn't because he was stupid like she always called him, but with this term —the gloomy state, it wasn't easy to talk about it with the beloved one. All along way up to here, he had tried to maintain his emotion, didn't want to make any statement that hence any sympathise from Krystal who already mending broken.

Within his calm voice, he said, “Miracle is not for my own. It happens for us, miracle was there, to meet us in France. Miracle has been going for us, you are here with me, you love me. And that is enough for me.”

“Amb…” Krystal called his name with the tears that started going to fall. She hugged him tightly, threw her arms on him, put her head on his shoulder. She said in sobbing that could crack his heart by now, “Amb, I can’t lose you for twice… Not like this, not this way…” While she was crying over and over again for the umpteenth times, he just remained silent, hold her waist, rubbed up and down her back. Amber didn't know what he had to do, the shirtsleeves white t-shirt wasn’t dry anymore, like the salt-ness of sweat, it swept Krystal’s tears, witnessed all shrewdly faith of their love which was in jeopardise.

 ===

The Hospital

“Please Kai,” Krystal begged. Facing the scene of peoples through the windowpane who did their business outside the hospital, he gave his back to her.

He said over his shoulder, didn't really want to meet her eyes, “Why? You can get another doctor for him. There’re plenty ‘quite’ good doctors out there.”

Krystal was sobbing, crying over a river. She lowed her head, she knew how it would turn to be. Exactly like almost 3 years ago, this what that woman had felt certainty. Facing the devil to pay, no choice —no other option —just gave up to the devil.

“Please… you have saved him before. Rewind. Please, just for once, please help Amber this time.” She said helplessly. Falling slowly, Krystal ended up on the cold floor.

Kai gazed through his shoulder, this time, he looked through fully on her. Watching her who was already in physical mess, he felt his heart was pounding faster. This kind of feeling was weird for him. He admitted that, this what he wished for, Krystal came to him, begging for him. But why it felt so weird to him. Kai was clueless.

As he grasped a lot of air, breath in deep, finally he could deal with the situation now. He said in mischievous, “Welcome back home Krys.” Krystal who tried to rise her head up, feeling gruesome. She saw mischievous smiles which drew on Kai’s face while he was combing diagonally his slicked greasy black hair with his finger. She felt a threatening trigger. He said in calm voice, “It… kind of remains me with a moment, 3 years ago, Krys.”

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There was 3 years ago where a woman in mid of 5o’s got into the same situation with Krystal Jung. Not all of the same, just quite ‘inspiration?’ P