Stay

I was just lying there my head using her legs as a pillow, a sweet smile on my face, I hoped that this moment never ended.
Somehow, if I could stay like this, with her...forever. I was looking deep into her eyes and she was looking back at mine. I could see the sweet gleam she had. Lovely, I thought. Suddenly she spoke up

"Tell about this house" She said, a smile on her face as she looked around.

"Did you live here with your parrents?" She asked.

I nodded.

"This house...has a lot of good memories..."

I could see how much this house meant to her by the sweet smile she had on her face. I could swear she looked like a doll.
I tried my best to hide fool's smile donning my face but I know I probably failed.

"This house is special to you isn't it?" I asked.

She nodded again.

"Is that why you take such good care of the garden?"

"Oh, that...yes and no, it's more...it's kind of a hobby"

"Taking care of flowers and the garden kind of relaxes me"

She said as she looked at me, staring as if waiting for my reaction.
I smiled...

"You're kind of too perfect to be real" I said.

She didn't answer right away and instead looked up to the ceiling diverting her eyes from my gaze.

"Am I?"

"Yes" I said with a smile.

"No...am I real?"

She suddenly asked me that and in an instant she disarmed me, I had no idea of what answer to give.
I just thought...I just decided to go with my heart. I cupped her face and leaned down close to her.
Our faces were inches apart...

"You are real, see, you're right here" I said, my eyes looking into hers and hers looking back, our faces mildly inches apart. I couldn't help but let out my fool's smile again.

Outside, I was sincerly surprised by her answer, and I'll admit that I couldn't help but smile.
But on the inside, deep inside my fragile heart I knew...or at least I worried.
What if Seul Gi knew the truth? Would she still love me as much?
Would she still love the ticking time bomb that is me?
I wondered as I looked into her eyes, my mind traveled to a thousand places.
I saw so many different outcomes to our story...but the one that was most vivid was also the one that scared me the most. What if we started a relationship...I'm well aware of her feelings for me, I love her too. But won't I'll be a bad person for submiting her to the pain of losing her love.
Or even if not, to the pain of knowing that her love might disappear...at any time.

She suddenly put a finger in between my eyebrows, touching my forehead and blocking my frown.

"Are you worried?" She suddenly asked, she was starting to frown herself.

I did the same to her and stopped her frown.

"No" I said.

Half lying half telling her the truth. That's how I truly felt. As if I was divided. And it wasn't even a battle between my braind and my heart it was really just my heart against it self, one half telling me to go for it to fing happiness and the other just giving me all these different outcomes where I may or may not destroy the love of my life. I suddenly decided to just push all thoughts out of my head and choose nothing, at least for now.
I looked at Seul Gi.

She adjusted her head in my lap and streched her legs, closed her eyes. I fondled her hair a bit and she showed a small smile. My heart just thumped as she did. I knew I had fallen heads over heels for her. I was completely in love and I''m sure she knew it yet...I could still sense that something was keeping her away. I know, she told me not to ask any questions and I didn't have any intention of doing so. Yet...I couldn't help but wonder...

"Let's just stay like this, just for a little bit more" She said.

I smiled, fondling her hair.

"A good a date as any" I said.

I don't really know where this could go, but for now...I don't really want to think