It has been like this for sometime now, I wake up, I walk to practice, I come back and I purposedly end up going up that hill to drink that one cup of black tasty coffee.
Guitar in tow, she always puts that mug in front of me with a smile on her face. I always smile back, even if it is an awkward smile. I try to make it unoticeable.
Still, the more and more I look at her, the more and more we talk, I can't help but have a feeling that something isn't right. Something about her is...wrong.
Strange. I tried to think about it. Even as I sit here on my desk taking care of these lyrics and compositions my mind is still only drifting towards her.
What could possibly be wrong with that beautiful girl?
Nothing comes to mind except the good things...
That beautiful smile, those big shiny eyes, that small pretty face, her smooth skin.
The way she looks at me as if she is an high school girl on her first crush.
Yes, I noticed...
I probably look at her the same way...
And after this couple past weeks of visiting that coffee shop, you would expect us to have started a relationship.
The way we talk and the way we look at each other, even her friend Taeyeon Unnie, said that.

But we denied, firmly. Why?
I swear my chest sank a little every time she denied it.

Today was just another day, like many others I finished the lessons and was going to the coffee shop when I noticed something unusual.
She was speaking to someone. They seemed close. The other girl seemed older. She was grabbing her hand. My heart was sinking.
Was this why? Was this what I felt like was wrong? She had someone already?
Why did I trust her, I shouldn't have, it's always like this, I always end up on the hurt side. I looked down.
I was about to turn my back and go when suddenly someone put a hand in my shoulder.


I bowed to my guest and send her away. And just when I was about to get inside, I noticed Seul Gi in the distance.
I ran, even though I know I shouldn't I ran and put a hand on her shoulder, I put on the brightest of smiles and looked at her.
She was a bit distraught and was frowning as she looked at me. She had an expression of disbelief.
I wonder what happened

"Seul Gi" I said.

She looked at me and formed a small smile.

"I didn't know...I'm sorry" Seul Gi said.

"You didn't know? What?" I said as I frowned, I didn't get what she was saying.

"You have someone, I...I'm sorry" She said as she started walking away.

"I have someone, what are you talking about?" I asked in my ignorance.

"You do, I just saw you talking to her" Seul Gi said.

I looked at her. She turned her back and was leaving, I grabbed her hand.

"Wait, it's not what you think" I let out.

She stopped.

"She's my doctor" I said.

I really didn't want her to know. I really didn't want her to know.

"Please, believe in me...just...don't ask any questions"

Don't ask any questions...
How could I do that. She was grabbing my hand so hard, the blood was gone, my hand was pale.
It didn't hurt though. I looked at her hand. I really don't know where the strenght came from.
It's not like we were in a relationship. It's not like she was cheating...like the other one did.
It was...just...so natural, I don't even know why I was mad myself.
And she could've told me that I had no right to ask, no right to be upset. But she didn't, she tried to defend herself.
To defend...us.

"I won't..."

"Promise" She said.

I nodded. And that's when my heart skipped not one but ten beats.
She put her arms around me. I could feel her breath on my ear and I swear I don't know how I kept myself together.

"Just don't stop coming here. If you're here...I can do it" She said.

I frowned at her words.
She grabbed my hand lead me inside the shop.
And she gave me a mug of that precious coffee, I played for a while. 
We didn't speak, we never spoke much...there was a mutual and perhaps spiritual understanding.
I was about to leave, the sun was setting. She put herself between me and the door.

"No..." She said.

"No?" I asked.

"We're going out!" She said suddenly.

I was a bit shocked but happy, it must have take her quite courage to say that.
I put a hand on her head and patted it.

"Wherever you want" I answered.

She smiled brightly.