jinhwan (ikon) & suhyun (akmu)

There were lights, he was sure of it. They were red and blue and white, but then everything turned black later on, as if darkness was a blanket and he was being tucked in. His mind went hazy one second and it was like he was falling down into an abyss the next. He succumbed to this darkness, without him knowing.

There were lights. They were red, blue and white in colors. 

Yes, he was sure of it now.

It was the last thing he saw.

"Jinhwan," it came from her.

And that was the last thing he heard.

When he woke up, there were no thoughts in his head. Not the typical "where am I?" or the occasional "what happened?". He hadn't asked any questions because he hadn't thought of any. He opened his eyes to the blinding white light and opened the rest of his senses to the surroundings around him.

Sterile scent, silent roar of the air-conditioner, white everywhere. 

His sister had been there, she was the only one who was, and she explained everything in a rushed, whispered tone as if she was afraid of getting caught, as if what she was telling him was top secret.

When she finished, his first thought finally came.

Why wasn't it me instead? 

The nurses had asked him if they knew her, because only direct relatives could get in the ER and nobody else. They pushed him back against the wall when he tried to testify.

Did he know her?

He knew she was homeschooled before she came to Korea, he knew she liked being her brother's shadow sometimes, he knew that she was more reserved and shy as a person, he knew she liked playing with kids, he knew she liked to sing in the shower, he knew she cried over dramas all the time, he knew she had this mole under her chin, he knew she liked that mole, he knew she had a crush on him even before he figured it out and even before she had told him about it.

He knew her.

He did.

They didn't let him in, still. 

When she was transferred into a private room after the operation that lasted six hours (and made Jinhwan worry to the bones he felt like he could've died), the doctors told him he suffered minor injuries because the car that collided with their's had hit the other side, the passenger's seat, where she sat. 

They told him he could go home and rest up there, but he kept on coming back.

When he finally saw her, he broke down in tears for the first time since he was six. 

There was a machine that aided her, and it constantly beeped every few seconds or so.

The beeping, along with her silent breathing and his heart beating, was the only sound that filled the empty room. Her family had been kind enough to give them space, thanks to Chanhyuk who told him he only had a few hours. But those few hours alone would be put to worth, he had promised.

Her hand wasn't cold, it was cool but not ice cold. The warmth was coming back to her cheeks, and she looked more than life than death. The machine beside her bed told him she was going to make it, she had already made it, but why wouldn't she open her eyes yet? 

"Nothing?"

"Nope."

"Still?"

"I... Yeah."

"Oh."

"Sorry, Jinhwan." 

He placed his lips on the back of her hand, kissing it before holding it tight against his chest. 

Doctors said she was stable, but he didn't know what that was anymore. 

If stable meant okay, why didn't she look like it? 

Opening his mouth, he started to tell her words he never had the chance to tell.

"... and - and I know I'm not perfect, but I'll do anything for you Suhyun. Just open your eyes and let me kiss you senseless one more time. Please, you have no idea how much I've missed you."

She's unresponsive.

He continues. 

"When you wake up, the thing you want most, I'll do it. For you. Anything, for you."

The pinky finger - her pinky finger - shudders ever so slightly. 

He doesn't notice it, but he keeps on talking anyway.

Something warm is on the back of his head, and it forces him to open his eyes. He sits upright and realizes he had been sleeping on her leg, his neck is sore from his position and his back feels uncomfortable. 

He looks behind him, but notices how nobody is there which is strange, because somebody must've woken him up.

"Jin -"

His head whips around and he's overcome by all these emotions that are synonymous with happy and relived. 

She removes the mask and he kneels on the cold tiled-floor as that they could be face-to-face with each other. He's gushing, but Suhyun makes him stop and she does that by cupping his cheek and telling him she heard everything.

"I love you too, just so you know." she says this once because she wasn't able to count the hundreds of i love you's he had been saying to her in this night alone.

Jinhwan is too overjoyed, he's speechless.

Suhyun caresses his check, telling him that she's okay now.