A/N:  March 5, 2010.  Haha, after a not-so-busy day, I decided to work on this.  (:

“We never taste happiness in perfection, our most fortunate successes are mixed with sadness” -Pierre Corneille.

Chapter 1

    Reina sat in front of her computer, watching a Korean drama online.  Her hands reached towards the tissues frantically, trying to wipe away the tears before they came.  Instead of wiping away the tears that had now fallen from her eyes, she felt her stomach lurch.  By instinct, both hand and tissue diverted from their previous goal to , and she jumped out of her seat and ran to the bathroom, the rainy scene on her computer screen long forgotten. 

    Five minutes later, she picked herself up from the kneeling position she was in in front of the toilet and flushed the toilet.  While washing her hands, mouth, and face, Reina went back through the day in her mind, wondering if she had eaten something bad.  When she came to no conclusion, she decided to ignore it, determining that she had just forgotten something from her previous days.

    Yet, as she passed by the calendar and her eyes caught sight of the page for the month of November, she noticed something.  Or rather‒ she noticed nothing.  The emptiness of the page was odd, as it was nearing the end of the month.  What was it?

    She gasped and her eyes widened as she realized the missing mark.  Grabbing the calendar off the wall and flipping back to the month of October‒ though she was certain of her assumption‒  her fears were realized.  Her menstrual cycle began in the middle of each month.  Her last one had started October 15th and had ended October 20th.  Slowly turning back to the month of November, sitting down on the floor shakily as she did so, she knew what was wrong.

    This was more deserving of tears than any Korean drama she watched.  Though, for the good, or for the bad, Reina did not know.

~

    “Good job, everyone!” the observer said as he stood up after viewing their rehearsal.  JaeJoong fell down into his chair, his hand grabbing the nearest water bottle there was, not caring if it were his or not.  He grinned as the rest of the members repeated the action.  Soon, all five trainees of SM Entertainment were sitting down and the elder man was left without a seat.

    “So what’s the big news that you had to tell us, Mr. Lee?” Yunho asked between breaths.  Lee Soo Man was one of the producers of SM Entertainment, as well as the founder.  He had worked with the five in planning for their debut ever since they had been grouped together and knew them fairly well.  He was also the one in charge of deciding whether they were ready or not to move on from their training and into the real idol world.

    “I think I’ll let you guys catch your breaths first,” Lee Soo Man replied with a laugh.  “You’ll need it when I tell you.”

    JaeJoong raised his eyebrow but complied.  As he waited for his breathing to steady, he glanced at his fellow band members.  His eyes met the backside of Shim Changmin, the youngest of the other four.  The boy was only fifteen (almost sixteen) years old, however, he had an amazing passion for singing.  The only thing that rivaled his dream of being a singer would, perhaps, be his appetite.  Sometimes JaeJoong would cook for the other four. 

    At first, he made six servings rather than five, in hopes of giving one to his girlfriend, Lee Reina, afterwards.  Yet, he soon learned that even six servings did not satisfy the stomachs of the five of them, or rather, the four of them plus the three-serving- sized-stomach of Changmin’s.  It was annoying at first, having to make so much extra food, but after a while, he got used to it, and eventually thought of it as a part of Changmin himself.  Which, in truth, it was.

    His eyes then glazed over the bent over figure of Kim Junsu who was rubbing his ankle tenderly.  The second youngest, but definitely most innocent, Junsu was the first to enter SM Entertainment as a trainee.  The number of hardships the male had gone through, JaeJoong did not know, but Junsu never let anything show.  He was the one that helped the group maintain a happy atmosphere and managed to cheer everyone up when needed.  He lifted their spirits, no matter how affected he was inside.

    Following Junsu, he turned over to his other side, facing the one that was in the middle when it came to age, Park Yoochun.  The last to join SM Entertainment from America, he held the player type image.  Yoochun was the kind to let follow through with “ladies first,” though by now, it had rubbed off on the rest of the members.  Yoochun had a mischievous, boyish look to him that seemed to say, “Kiss me, I’m young and single.”  Regardless of whatever type of player aura he decided to emit, he was the most emotional amongst the five.  JaeJoong believed it to be the emotional hardships he had to go through as a child that had softened Yoochun so much.

    Lastly, JaeJoong glanced at Jung Yunho, the unofficial leader of their not-yet debuted group.  Yunho was the kind of person that would help an old lady cross the street even if he were late to wherever he needed to be (not that the ever-so punctual Yunho would be late) or carry groceries for a pregnant woman.  While he was a kind-hearted young man, JaeJoong knew that Yunho had gone through plenty in his childhood.  Nevertheless, all those events created the warm leader JaeJoong knew today, and was glad to have met.  Before they were grouped up with the other three, they had known each other and had become good friends.  Yunho was someone JaeJoong could always go to for help, and visa versa.

    “I think we’re ready for whatever news you have,” Yunho told Lee Soo Man, who nodded in response.  The other four members looked up as the producer started talking.

    “These past few months, you five have been working diligently in preparation for your debut.  I’ve observed all of you for a long time now and I believe you are ready to enter the real world under the name we discussed last month: Dong Bang Shin Ki.”

    JaeJoong stared at the man in disbelief.  Yes, the five had been preparing for it for several months now.  Yes, it was their dream.  Yes, they had seen it coming.  But at that moment, when the words came out of their producer’s mouth, he was deaf.  A ringing sensation sounded in his ears.  His mouth went dry.  His legs felt like lemon-flavored jello.

    JaeJoong knew, from the silence in the room, that the other members had the same reaction as he did.  His heart was pounding and he felt a feeling of joy that he had never felt before.  Not usually an emotional person, tears sprang to his eyes, as if someone had a faucet.  Yunho was the first to speak.

    “You’re not kidding, right?  It’s true?  Decided?  For real?”  he managed to croak, stepping towards the producer one step at a time, like a toddler.

    “I’ve already mentioned it to the other producers and they all agree.”

    A smile formed on JaeJoong’s face, which turned into a grin, which turned into a bellowing laugh.  Relief flooded his mind, all fears pushed aside, only the feeling pure ecstasy filling his body.  His hands flew to cover his mouth and he could feel himself losing control of his emotions.  Yoochun was already crying and Junsu and Changmin were intertwined in a tight, brotherly embrace.  JaeJoong’s eyes met Yunho’s, who had a gaping expression on his face.  He wiped his tears away and ran towards Yunho, put his hands on the latter’s shoulders and shouted,

    “We did it!”

    Just four words escaped Yunho’s mouth in reaction, so softly that even the air conditioning could cover his voice.  However, they all knew what he said, and the significance of it.

    “Dong Bang Shin Ki.”  They were going to be, at last, the Rising Gods of the East.

~

    They sat in JaeJoong’s apartment at the dinner table, neither touching their food.  At times, JaeJoong would scoop up a bit of rice, hesitate, and then put it back down onto the table.  Reina, on the other hand, just stared into her drink, shaking it back and forth as one would do with wine, before setting it back onto the table.

    “I have something to tell you,” JaeJoong said finally.  He didn’t know what he was afraid of.  Reina knew he was a trainee at SM Entertainment.  Reina knew what he was aspiring to be.

    “Yeah?”  Reina set down the cup that she had picked up once more and turned her attention to him.  “What is it?”

    “Today, when the members and I were practicing, Lee Soo Man came in to watch.”

    Reina tilted her head in confusion.  She didn’t understand what was so significant about this.  He came in many times prior to today, and for the most part, JaeJoong never mentioned anything about it.

    “He told us… that we’re going to debut.”  JaeJoong met her eyes, anticipation rising in his heart.  He could see pride, shock, knowing, happiness, and… what was it?
 
    When she opened to speak, he knew what that last feeling was.

    Sadness.

    Why?  he wondered.  But he hid it.

~

    “He told us… that we’re going to debut,” he said, like an uncertain child.  Reina couldn’t hold in her emotions- they were too strong for her to hide.  She forced herself to speak.

    “That’s… awesome, JaeJoong!  After so much work, you guys will be able to debut.  You really deserve it.”  From the look on his face, it seemed like her praise had fooled him on her feelings of this news.

    JaeJoong seemed to want to say something, but the sound of his ringtone paused his actions. 

    “Hello?” he asked into the phone, his eyes never leaving Reina.  “Changmin?  What- I’m sort of busy right now…  No!  Changmin, come on, be nice to Hyung just this once… I’ll cook your favorite foods next time!  No, okay, fine!  Alright.  I’ll see you in a bit.”  JaeJoong hung up with a sheepish look on his face.

    “I’m sorry Reina, but Changmin’s… really taking the role of maknae to the max.”  Reina nodded in understanding, and JaeJoong, flustered, let the building.

~

    Reina was a person that looked to the future and planned.  She considered all aspects of life, regardless of good or bad.  To JaeJoong, this news was the best news he could ever have.  Perhaps a month ago, Reina would have agreed.  However now there was her unborn child, their unborn child. 

    Was it fair of her to unleash this news on him, now that his dream was finally about to come true?  No, it wasn’t.  Was it right for her to take his dream away from him?  No, it wasn’t.  Could she bear seeing him being burdened down by an infant?  No, she could never bear that.

    And it was that unselfish feeling that had forced her to hold her silence.  Her love for JaeJoong had kept her from speaking, from telling the truth. 

    The second road in the fork was inconsiderable.  She, her eyes down at her stomach that seemed not a centimeter larger, or a kilogram fatter than the previous years, knew she could never get rid of an innocent life.

    That only left one idea, as heartbreaking as it was.  A single tear fell from her eye and into her drink.  She just hoped that he wouldn’t hate her for this.

~

    Later that night when JaeJoong stumbled back into the apartment, he caught sight of something sparkling.  Nearing the dinner table, he caught sight of the origin.  His eyes widened and without speaking, he reached into his back pocket and pulled out the exact copy of the object.

    It was his key.

    Walking closer to the table, he could see a piece of paper stuck under Reina’s drink.  Frantically, as if there wasn’t a second to lose, he pulled it out from it’s location.

    There were only three words on it.

    I’m sorry.
    -Reina.

-----End of Chapter.

A/N:  Ahh, this was so refreshing to write.  100% natural, with no “Oh, how awkward” scenes in there.  
No, I take that back.  The part with JaeJoong and Reina before he tells her was rather annoying to write.  But whatever.  @___@”
Date:  3/13/10

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