The group departed for sea the next morning, looking glamorous as usual on a very glamorous ship (actually the ship wasn’t really that glamorous, but don’t tell Jaejoong that). Eunhyuk was excited about the prospect of maybe finally finding his OTL, so he was the first one on the ship after Yunho and Jaejoong.

Unfortunately, he forgot to pay a lot of attention to what was in front of him in his excitement, and he ran into someone as soon as he got on. Both of them yelled in surprise and fell to the ground flailing. Another person stood over them and guffawed wildly.

“Haha—oh my Siwon, Jonghyun—you’re so short no one can see you—“

The unfortunate man on the ground stood up and started to fling seaweed at the man laughing at him. “Shut up, Key!” he wailed. “You’re no giant either! And I’m a growing boy!”

Key shrieked and shook the offending sealife out of his hair and clothes. “You are so not a—ew, EW! That is myhair you have messed with, you—I WILL GET YOU!” He proceeded to try to strangle Jonghyun.

Yunho coughed just as Key got his hands around the other man’s throat. “Well guys, this is the rest of our crew. Key is our cook, and Jonghyun is our lookout.” Key slowly withdrew his hands.

The two looked at each other sheepishly and gave a quick bow. “Hey,” they said in unison.

“So, um, you’ll be our passengers for this trip?” Jonghyun asked.

“Yup,” Eunhyuk, who had finally picked himself off of the deck, answered. “I’m Eunhyuk—”

“And I’m Kyuhyun.”

“—yeah, that’s my brother, Kyuhyun, and the one he’s giving a piggyback ride to—WTF Kyuhyun, you never gave me any piggyback rides—is his OTL, Sungmin. And the three English musketeers over there are Henry, Kevin and Eli.”

“Hi,” everyone said. IN SYNC.

“So are the rest of us going to get on the ship, or…?”

“Oops.” Eunhyuk, who was still blocking the entrance of the dock, scooted aside to let his companions and the horses through. “Sorry, Kyu.”

Kyuhyun carried Sungmin into the ship. Eunhyuk (and Eli) looked on with envy.

Eli stared at the vast, watery horizon and soliloquized in a hushed voice. “My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite.” He sighed and turned his gaze to a vague point that may or may not have been where Kevin was standing.

“Um, Eli, who are you talking to?” Kevin cocked his head to side.

“No one,” Eli sniffed.

“Yay, a boat!” Henry whipped out his violin and played a hearty maritime tune. Whatever that is.

“I’m on a boat!” Eunhyuk exclaimed. “Can it go fast?”

“…Yes?” Yunho raised an eyebrow.

“Do you have nautical-themed pashmina afghans?”

“…”

“Jae-mommy can probably make you one!” Changmin chirped.

“Don’t encourage him, son.” Yunho turned and they all set off. All the people on the shore were jealous. But no one could stop them. ‘Cuz they were on a boat, mother[*BLEEEEEP*]. (1)

***

By noon that day, Kyuhyun had decided that Eli must be a character from some sort of romance RPG. There was no other explanation for his constant use of pickup-lines on a largely unresponsive Kevin.

“How do you know, Kyu?” Eunhyuk wheedled when he told him this. “You play those all the time, don’t you?”

Kyuhyun glared at him. “But seriously, look at him. He’s got this selfless attitude, he’s unbearably sweet with Kevin (Eunhyuk looked pointedly between Kyuhyun and Sungmin here), he does errands for anyone who asks because apparently that gives him ‘community points’, and I bet you if there were doors around here, he’d be holding them open for everyone.”

“But especially Kevin,” Sungmin added, leaning into his shoulder. “Oh, Kevin. I don’t think he even realizes Eli’s flirting with him.”

Eunhyuk shook his head. “That’s not flirting—it’s full-on courting. Like, ‘please marry me right now so we can spend the rest of our lives together’ courting.”

The three of them watched Eli silently watching Kevin, who was busy discussing the calls different species of dolphins made with Henry. They pitied Eli and resolved in their minds to somehow aid the poor romantic. Then Kyuhyun and Sungmin stared at each other some more, so Eunhyuk, sensing the mood and wanting nothing to do with it, shuffled off to go angst with Eli.

“Um, Minnie?” Kyuhyun started, fidgeting and looking uncharacteristically nervous.

Sungmin looked up at him, blushing a little. “Yes, Kyu?”

He breathed heavily and took his OTL’s hand. “I know I just met you, and I know this may sound a little crazy, but I seriously think you’re the love of my life and I’ll never, ever want to marry anyone but you.”

Sungmin gasped appropriately. “Kyu…could you be…?”

“Yes,” Kyuhyun nodded as he pulled out a ring made of glittery SHINee-ness and pretty stuff. He kissed his OTL’s hand and knelt down on one knee. “Sungmin, will you marry me when we get back to the Kingdom of Idyllic Vacation Spots?”

Tears rolled down Sungmin’s cheeks as he stood, shocked silent.

“Uh, Minnie? You’re crying.”

“What???” A hand flew to his cheek. “But I haven’t…I haven’t cried in years… I mean people always think I look like a crybaby, but I seriously don’t cry…”

“Yeah, those fangirls have no idea what they’re talking about… Wait, you haven’t answered me yet.”

Sungmin wiped his tears away with his hand. “Isn’t it obvious? Why in the world would I say no?”

“I just want to hear you say it.”

“Yes, Kyuhyun, yes.”

“I love you!” Kyuhyun declared loudly and threw his arms around Sungmin. The people who knew him, namely Eunhyuk and Henry, cringed at this disturbing display from the snarky prince.

“I love you too!” The ring was slipped onto Sungmin’s finger and they remained lip-locked for the next few minutes.

“Are they getting married?” Kevin exclaimed. “Awww, that is so adorable! Just look at them, Eli! Aren’t they cute?”

As Eli stared at the boy next to him, his eyes started shining (seriously, the holographic sparkles and roses were back). “Yeah…” he breathed, not even looking at the couple.

Henry started sobbing.

Then, Jonghyun showed up. “Wait, why are people hugging and crying and sparkling?”

Key popped out behind him. “Someone just proposed, idiot. It’s a happy event for the happy couple and people are crying happy tears of happiness for them.”

“Oh.”

“Not sure why the guy’s sparkling, though. Is he a vampire?”

At this, Eli looked affronted. “Absolutely not. Vampires are creatures of the night and abduct innocent maidens. Also, they certainly do not sparkle. Santa Claus does.”

“I love Santa Claus!” Henry took a break from blubbering and looked excited.

“Uh, Santa Claus isn’t—” Eunhyuk started.

“Ssssh!” Jonghyun ran to him and slapped a hand over his mouth. “Let them dream.”

Key scoffed. “Yeah, Jonghyun cried like a mandrake when I told him,” he supplied.

“I am still bitter about that.”

“It’s your fault for making fun of me when I wore that pink shirt.”

“Siwon damn it, Key, we were six years old! Couldn’t you have let me keep my childish naivety for a little longer?”

“No.”

Eunhyuk mumbled something behind Jonghyun’s palm that was probably along the lines of “Can you let go of my face now?”

***

Now, the East Sea (for that was what the Kingdom of Idyllic Vacation Spots called it) is a rather large sea. Even with the “glamorous” ship they were taking, it took weeks to traverse it. Thus, now would be the point in the story with the long, epic montage that spans a period of time with no known measure except for the fact it is vaguely long. For instance, take that epic song in Mulan (you know the one) where everyone goes from spineless and wimpy wimpiness to TOTAL KUNG FU MASTERY…

Except this is a written story and not an animated movie, so montaging would be both difficult and pointless. All of their days consisted of the usual: Kyuhyun and Sungmin being lovey dovey, Eunhyuk staring out at the water, Kevin and Henry talking about everything from dragons to cotton candy, Eli making eyes at Kevin, Jonghyun and Key bickering, and Changmin, Jaejoong and Yunho generally staying away from the insanity to steer the boat.

So the days passed, and there was absolutely no character development (to the dismay of Eli and Eunhyuk). If the author was Leo Tolstoy, all of this time would be denoted by a “…”

Since the author is not Tolstoy, you instead get a long-winded rant of the actual author trying to explain herself.

***

One night, the crew decided to shake things up a bit and have a party on the ship.

It was really a party only in thought though, because there wasn’t much that they could do in their current state. But Henry very voluntarily took on the role of “one man band”, and Kevin created fireworks, so at least it was lively. Eunhyuk danced a bit, but he went back to sighing at the sea when he thought he heard a voice trilling a song about how beautiful he was.

Sometime around there, Kyuhyun started singing too. Then Jaejoong and Jonghyun joined in, and everyone fainted from the wonderful voices. Collectively…and IN SYNC. Then they revived and started partying again, making a general ruckus.

And then Key and Kevin had a dance-off, and the world almost imploded.

This directly caused the skies to go cloudy and the sea to turn stormy, thrashing the boat back and forth and dumping water onto the deck, making it slippery and therefore impossible to party on. NOT COOL.

A large, dark shape rose from the sea in a whirlpool of water, looking ominous and angry.

“THOU HAST ANGERED THE SEA BEAST SHINDONG!” the shape bellowed. “PREPARE TO BE VANQUISHED!!!”

“Oh no!” Jaejoong exclaimed. “Quick, offer him something! He likes food!”

“But Changmin ate all the food!” Jonghyun wailed.

“No I didn’t! I only ate the fried stuff, there’s got to be something healthy in our supplies somewhere!”

“Apples!” Henry jumped up and ran to the supply trunk. “Those apples we bought from the ramen-haired kid!!!”

“APPLEEESSS!!!” Eunhyuk grabbed the apples and quickly flung them into the sea. Unfortunately, he threw them more than a little bit too hard, and the momentum carried him over the deck and into the swirling sea below him.

“EUNHYUK!!!” the people who cared about him called out.

Eunhyuk could not reply to their terror, because his head was under water. He struggled with the whirling water, unable to breathe and experiencing all the distress that comes with imminent drowning.

He thought about his kingdom back home, and how he might never get to rule it after all. Queen Leeteuk and King Kangin would be so disappointed, probably.

He thought about Kyuhyun, and how he was actually glad that his brother had found someone to love him, even though their affection was a really annoying reminder of how very single he was. He might even miss playing video games with him.

He thought about the new friends he had made on this excellent adventure, and how he would probably miss them too when he was gone. He wished Eli good luck.

Most of all, he thought about his One True Love and how upsetting it was that he would never meet them…

Suddenly, a force stronger than the water around him grabbed a hold him and dragged him toward the surface. He looked around, wide-eyed, at the confusion and realized that whatever was helping him was humanoid.

He found himself staring into large eyes of the warmest brown color he’d ever seen. They only looked at him for a second, but he knew at once that this person was the one. Once they broke the surface, the owner of the eyes heaved and threw him (a little harshly, he had to admit) back onto the ship right before a wave crashed down and hid him from sight completely.

“I…ACCEPT…YOUR OFFERING…”he heard Shindong booming before the sea beast receded back into the water, taking the storm with him.

Eunhyuk thought he heard that song again.

“I think I’m love…” he whispered to no one in particular.

Then he realized that he was laying, spread-eagle and very wet, on the deck of the ship and everyone was leaning over him and staring at him.

“Shut up, Henry,” he added for good measure.

---------------------------------

(1) Please tell me that people are getting this reference and not staring at the screen like I’m insane. Which I am, but still.
     (It’s “I’m on a Boat” by the Lonely Island. Great lyrical talent, great song for little kids.)
     (Just kidding. Don’t play it for your five-year-old brother.)

A/N: Sorry, these chapters are just getting crazier as I go along…

I see you, Eunhae shippers. I see you and I’m watching you.