Lara were sitting in front of the window, her puffy eyes and red from crying but there were no longer any tears flowing . For day she had done nothing else than cry her pain out .It the hope that would slightly heal her broken heart, but nothing worked .Each time she tried to get some sleep he ended up in her dreams, replaying the old memories she had together with him . she missed him so much that it was killing her. she missed his smile, his touch but 

she closed her eyes and leaned her head on the glass window , trying to shut her thoughts down . Tonight everything was so quiet and peaceful ,but her heart was not peaceful at all . pain, frustration, love, suffering, hate . he make her slept bad, she didn't eat that much anymore and lost weight.

'' ! please seohyun don't look back, it will only make you ,  much more painful. oh ! i'm ing hate that name . okay relax calm down baby .You just needed to clear your mind yeah you just need to clear your mind '' and the only way she could do that was by having some fun .

'' wow this is amazing ! we should do this more often .'' kai whispered into her ear . Lara hummed in agreement and focussed her eyes back on him . They both had a playful smile lingering around their lips . They both lifted their glass and hit it over and drunk the shot in one go , feeling the alcohol burn through their throat . ''yeah~ '' she said cutely .

''seriously this girl , seems like you're having fun huh '' kai said , making she giggle a little bit . Lara took the another cup from him and took a sip of the liquid , feeling the alcohol she could feel how it was relaxing her body . 
yeah kai right , it was a great night and Lara were in the mood to get lost in the music . The music was resounding through her ears and she really enjoying that . It had been a long time since she had been out and tonight she totally free and just wanted to be lost . After another shot Lara and kai started to walk back towards the dance floor , feeling her body move along with the music .
She giggled as kai whispered something inside of her ear and Lara crawled closer against his chest , feeling how he secured his arm tighter around her . she loved to feel like this . Like there is someone really care about her . 

 '' yah , are you hungry ?'' kai asked . As Lara turned her head to say something , her words got stuck in because she saw a group of guys stare in their direction . Lara looked at them one by one . Then she eyes the last guy , she freeze automatically . she gazed inside of his eyes with his cold expression . she started to panic a little, she really didn't like this
 ''yah answer me , are you hungry ? ~'' kai asked for Lara attention . ''k-k..k-kai '' Lara tried to hide her face by covered her face on kai chest .  ...  ''i-i-i'm s-s-scared '' 
 she grabbed kai hand and squeezed it hard that make kai fingers turned white. she placed his hands on her chest '' i w-w-want to g-go home p-please .'' kai frowned at her, no idea what she was talking about because he never be able to hear it over the loud music .But then he noticed she was eyeing someone behind him who he couldn’t see. 

'but why did she look like scared?' kai thought . Curiosity got over him and he turned around to see what she was looking at . '' oh ? my friends is here . '' kai said and smiled brighter at them . Lara eyes staring back into his dark once. ''b-b-bwo ?'' 
'' you're scared because they're staring at you right ? haha it's okay , they're all my friends . Let's go talk to them.'' but Lara just stand still . ''oh come on , they're all good looking , hot and y .'' kai grabbed Lara wrist and began to pull her towards his friends . Lara wrapped her arms around him and intertwined her fingers with him .

'okay , act like nothing happen . please i can do this . please god .' Lara thought .. but the feeling of wanting to run away was only growing bigger as she got closer with them . 
She were standing right in front of kai friends table and the only thing she could do was pop out a nice smile but inside of her heart she wanted to cry her pain out . '' woah seriously what you guys doing here ?''  kai asked and chuckled . '' swimming , why ??'' sehun said with a bored look . '' is not funny .'' kai said let out small chuckled . 

 They began to greet each other. even though normally Lara were so excited if she got the chance to talk to such a handsome boy , but right now she feel uncomfortable and she really wanted to go home . '' oh here , my-'' 
''girlfriend ?'' chanyeol had playful smile . ''aniya ~ my bestfriend . Seo Lara .'' kai pulled her closer into his arm . '' bwo ? bestfriend ? you never tell me you have an angel friend . '' sehun said and shot her an wonderful smile which made all girls melting . but she just turned her gazed on the floor , she didn't dare to looked at them . ''shut up sehun'' baekhyun spoken .
''she's so pretty ~'' chen said and just staring at Lara . '' yah , they're my friends . suho hyung , baekhyun hyung , kyungsoo hyung,chanyeol hyung , xiumin hyung ,sehun,Lay hyung ,chen hyung ,kris hyung,tao and lastly Luhan hyung . '' now all their attention to Lara to see her reaction . 
she turned a little bit nervous . she smiled warmly at them . ''oh hey n-n-nice to m-meet you guys .'' she stutter . 
'' Lara  '' she froze when she heard a familiar voice . she turned her head at the person  , gazed inside of his eyes and for a second she felt lost . He held her gaze for a moment, as if their eyes were locked with each other .

meanwhile Luhan , ' this girl she looked familiar . she looked like someone I had seen before.'  his cold eyes sliding up and down her body .

Lara quickly turned her attention back to kai . no , she can't stay here . she blinked her eyes repeatingly to hold back her tears . One by one the memories began to slip back into her mind, and she wished she could push them away. oh god  she will ended up crying here . 
''kai , i want to go home . it's late . no need to send me . i'm okay byee '' 
''what ? yah !! seo lara wait-'' .. ''seriously what wrong with her ?'' kai had no idea why she suddenly looked weird like that . 
''okay alright guys , maybe she need to go home to sleep , yeah you know girl skin care , beauty sleep and bla bla bla . '' sehun said . he make a face and they laughs except Luhan . 
''what wrong ? you not always like this . '' xiumin asked while the others busy talking about random stuff . '' i'm not in the mood to talk .'' Luhan said coldly . 

she placed her hands on her chest while tears were now streaming down her face . The feeling is so hard to explain, she feel so many things at once . she try so hard to be okay, to pretend she good & everything's fine, but she always end up like this. she end up broken and lost . 

'' Luhan , you're ing jerk ! I think you forget that I have feelings too . i'm so tired with this . you're the one who changes me like this . now i don't love myself ! i hate me !! i'm a loser !!  ''

'' ! i hate me ! you're ing weak !! you deserve the pain ! you're imperfect ! you'll never be a good enought !'' she collapsed down on the ground , crying really hard . ''just make it stop , please make it stop .. ''  ''my life already suffering ''

'' Fine let me break your heart nice and slow . that is what you want from me from the start right ? ''  she gritted her teeth . her cries started to lessen . '' wait for me to destroy your life.''

(late updates , i'm sorryyyy T^T )