Lee Jinki


I left Cute Cups feeling lighter than ever before – Taemin and I were dating.
After I had just kissed him in order to finally confess it had been a little awkward, even though he had kissed me back after a few moments. Once we had broken the kiss we had just stared at each other. Taemin had been blushing real badly, even his ears had turned red. After a while however he had started smiling and eventually burst out laughing at how quiet it was. He had covered his cheeks with his hands and had looked at me with shining eyes, he had looked even prettier then.
For about an hour we had just talked about how things were going to continue between us from then on. He had told me about all the doubts he had and that he was worried that our relationship would someday end like it did with Jongin. In my opinion that was a completely unnecessary concern, but I tried to be as understanding as possible. Since I knew how his last relationship had ended he had wanted to tell me why my marriage had ended in the end … but I couldn't tell him then. I promised to I would tell him next time, I had to figure out how to put it into words.

But long story short … from today on we were dating.

Actually I had planned to stay with him until Cute Cups closed, but he had told me that he wanted some time to himself to think about everything and that we'd meet up the day after tomorrow. Since I had no time tomorrow and he had plans, too us seeing each other would have to wait a day longer.

However, tomorrow was my first day of work. Finally.
After countless job interviews I had gotten a job as teacher at a middle school near Gangnam. And tomorrow I would be introduced to the class I was going to tutor. Saying I was just excited was not enough, I felt much more than that, I could barely put it in words.

On my way home I decided to stop and buy some groceries since I had nothing eatable left at home. However, I was surprised when I met an old friend of mine there – if he hadn't called out for me I wouldn't have noticed him though.

“Hyung!” I twitched and looked up from my cart just to see a thin, young man running towards me, his shining, blonde hair bouncing. Before I could even say something he threw himself at me in a tight hug. I started laughing a bit when he did as well and hugged him back. “Hyung, it's been forever! Why'd you never call?” he broke away and looked at me. The tone in his voice was a bit upset, but his eyes told me that he was more happy than upset to see me.
“I … I just …” I tried to find the right words but just ended up laughing and looking at him in surprise. “Wow, it's so good to see you, Kibum.”

“Of course!” he laughed brightly and hugged me again. “It's been three years …”

“Right …” I nodded and sighed a little. “You were studying in England, weren't you?”

“Yeah. I got back this morning. I skipped the ceremony next week so I could be early. I'm gonna surprise my fiancee tomorrow evening.” he gave me a sly grin and broke away. When he looked down I noticed how he had dropped the cornflakes and chocolates he had been carrying.
“Your fiancee … what was his name again?”

“Kim Jonghyun.”
I raised my brows and thought for a while until I finally managed to count one and one together. “I … I think I know him.”

“I introduced you before I left.” Kibum snorted. When he picked up his stuff I noticed how he was dressed in western style, it didn't fit into this store at all. It made me smile though – he didn't seem to have changed much. “You only saw him once though, I think.”
I thought for a bit before correcting him: “Twice.” I got very curious now. “Do you know someone called Taemin? Owns a coffee shop called Cute Cups?”
He smiled even brighter and nodded. “I call him Minnie. I've known him for ages. How do you know him?” I just couldn't help but to laugh at the whole situation – what were the odds of this happening? “You know what?” he threw his stuff into my cart and fixed my hair. “I'll take you out to Dinner right now. Let's go. We'll talk there.” I was just about to tell him I didn't feel like it when he cut me off right away and just pulled me to the register. He said he didn't want to hear any of my excuses and that we were gonna get Dinner right now.

In the end we sat in a small restaurant around the corner, sharing a table grill. As soon as we had our food and drinks he asked me right away: “So, how do you know my Minnie?”

“Minnie …” I laughed a bit and looked at him, I could tell that I was blushing. When I told him the story of how Taemin and I had met he seemed shocked and asked: “You and Taeyeon got divorced? Why? When?” he looked at me with those big eyes of his and listened when I started talking.
“We divorced about two years ago … ever since then I've been a bit out of it. Why … well … it just didn't really work anymore.” I shrugged as I spoke. “You know how we got together … marriages like that usually don't last, I think.”
Kibum stayed silent for a bit before he shook his head and agreed. “It's still sad, though.”

“Yeah, but oh well …”

“Are you dating anyone lately?”
Those words made me blush again and I just managed a nod before I managed to say: “Yeah, we started dating today …” I hesitated before adding: “Actually, Taemin and I are dating …”
Kibums jaw dropped at that and he looked at me for a long time. For a moment I was worried he'd be angry, but he started smiling widely and nodded in agreement. “Good! Very good!”

“Is it?” I was a bit surprised, Kibum actually seemed like someone who'd be very protective over someone like Taemin.
“Of course! I couldn't think of someone better! Especially because I know you and can make sure you're treating him.” he gave me such an innocent smile that didn't fit the rather determined look in his eyes at all. But still, I was glad he was okay with me and Taemin.
“How come I've never met Taemin before? You've known him for ages and never introduced me?”

“I thought it was more important for you to meet my fiancee.” he replied with his brows raised. “And no-one introduces all their friends to one another. Taemin has had a rough time back when I met you … he didn't need any more stress.”

“A rough time? Like what?”

“If he didn't tell you I'm not going to.” he kept giving me that skeptical look and just shook his head. “It's for him to decide what to tell you and what not.” I understood, of course, but I was still curious. So I decided to ask him the next time I saw him. “But … I am glad Taemin found someone other than that prick Jongin ...”
I froze a bit at his words. “What do you know about Jongin?”

“Well, he accused Minnie of cheating and broke up just like that.” Kibum raised his brows and gave me a weird look. “Why? What else would there be?”

“Ah, I just wanted to know how much Taemin told you.”

He really hadn't told anyone about what actually happened except for me.

“Well anyway …” I mumbled a bit and looked up at him. “It was really nice to see you again, but I –“

“You're not going anywhere.” Kibum interrupted me and raised both his brows. “No way. At least stay until I'm done eating.” he looked down at his food and kept eating, he seemed upset now. “You always leave so early …”
I froze at his words and sighed, just staying quiet and watching him eat. He seemed really hurt. So I spoke up again with a suggestion: “Do … you want to stay over at my place tonight? We could have a movie night or something …”

“Don't force yourself.” he snorted. “I don't wanna make you spend time with you.”

“I'm not forcing myself. Come on, we'll have a nice night …” I reached out my hand and grabbed his, smiling a bit. He was a very sensitive person, but it had been me who hadn't called him, who had completely cut all our ties once he had left Korea. Because of that I figured it was my responsibility to take care of him now – I shouldn't have even tried to talk myself out of this dinner date. “Please, Kibum. I really want to.”
He didn't say anything for a while and just looked at me with round eyes, obviously thinking. Eventually he smiled a bit and let me hold his hand. “Alright, alright. Relax. I'm not angry …” he laughed a little and I felt much more at ease, his smile was calming.

In the end we stayed for another hour, Kibum telling me every single nice thing that happened to him in England. There were a lot of funny things that went on, and there were way too many to name them all, but a thing that really stuck out to him he said was that a lot of girls and guys alike tried to hit on him. Of course he didn't give in to either of them, but he said it was a weird feeling to be that popular, since he wasn't considered to be that handsome here in Korea.

It felt nice to be with him like this again.

When we went to my place he was excited and insisted on carrying our groceries. Once he saw my single room apartment he raised his brows and took a look around. “Why just one room?” apparently he didn't like it much.
“I've been unemployed for a while.” I replied simply and shrugged. “I can't afford any more. But my first day of work is tomorrow, so it'll get better soon.”

“Alright.” he said simply and just walked towards the kitchen, starting to make himself comfortable. He acted like he was home here and I enjoyed that, it has been ages since Kibum and I had last stayed together overnight.
We ended up watching TV until three in the morning and fell asleep next to each other, his head on my shoulder. It must have looked like a mess, because when we woke up because of my alarm ringing we found a lot of peanut puffs on his lap and chips on my shirt … we had never really been that clean when we were hanging out together.

When I was on my way to work I dropped Kibum off at his apartment – he and Jonghyun weren't living together yet – and drove off to work. My heart was pounding in my chest and when I entered the school and caught everyone's eyes I felt very small and exposed. I tried not to let anyone notice and just went straight to the teacher's office where I was supposed to meet the headmistress.

“You must be Mr. Lee!” she greeted me with a wide grin. She looked barely a day older than I was and seemed very nice. “My name is Victoria Song. It's an honor to meet you.” she bowed her head and held out her hand which I took straight away. I was just about to tell her that I was honored to meet her, too, but she just kept on talking. “I see you're wearing a suit? It looks nice! But I'd like you to wear our teacher's uniform starting from tomorrow, alright?”

“Of course!” I blushed a bit but smiled still. “I just didn't know there was one, I'm sorry.” she just waved it off though and took me inside the room where she introduced me to whoever was present. Everyone looked very nice, especially the female teachers for some reason – the male ones barely looked at me and most didn't even greet me back. I shrugged it off however and just followed Victoria when she gave me a tour of the school. It was much bigger than I expected.
There were three main buildings, each had about 6 floors, and four side buildings where the lessons for biology, chemistry and physics would take place. Every one of those rooms was well equipped with chemicals, space for experiments and a computer – my school hadn't been that nice back then.

The room I was going to spend most of my time teaching in was a room in the second main building, right on the first floor. It was nicely lit since sunlight came in through the big windows at the sides.
“This is your classroom.” Victoria said and walked me to the teacher's desk in front of the blackboard. “You'll get the newcomers, so your class will be seventh grade.”

“Alright.” I nodded and looked around. Since I was going to teach Maths there were lots of papers on the bill-board that spelled formulas and what their meaning were, above there was a chart that spelled the Korean abbreviations for certain mathematical problems. If I looked at everything in this room, I had to say that I liked it a lot.
“This is the national lesson plan.” Victoria continued and handed me a few documents. “This is a set of our house rules,” she handed me more, “and these are the books you will need. You also get a calculator and a few other supplies from us.” with that said she handed me a bag filled with everything she said. It did make me chuckle a bit though. “You can use your class' cupboard to store your items if you don't need to take them home. You'll meet your class after break time and will have a double lesson with them.” I froze a bit upon hearing her words and turned my head to her. My eyes must have been so wide that she immediately understood what I wanted to ask. “It's their first day at this school and their first day together as class. I'd just like you to introduce yourself and maybe play some games with them so they'll get used to each other.” I sighed in relief and laughed a bit at my reaction as well – I just hadn't expected to see my first seventh grade class on my first day. “From tomorrow on the lessons will start. The first exam will be in two months.”

“Alright, alright.” I chuckled a little and nodded at her words. “I can do that … thank you so much, Mrs. Song.”

“Call me Victoria.” she said quickly and smiled at me. “Or Vic. Either is fine.”

“O-Okay.” I had to laugh a bit again, not having excepted such a serenity at a school as big as this one. “Thanks, anyway. I feel like I'll enjoy it here a lot … really.”

“I'm glad to hear that.” her smile got so wide that her eyes got small and she just suddenly started to laugh a bit again before saying that she was going to leave me alone now. “If you want coffee or fruits, we've got all that down at the teacher's room. And of course you're welcome to join any conversations. Break time's over in fifteen minutes, so maybe you'd like to get comfortable in your room?” she gestured around the room, making my heart pound – this was my room. “Have a wonderful day. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask any of us.” with that she shook my hand and left the room with a smile, closing the door behind her.
For a moment I just stood there with all the stuff in my arms, looking around.

This was my classroom … I was going to teach my class in here until they graduated in four years.

My heart was pounding up to my throat and I felt like I could barely contain my excitement.
I had always dreamed of having my own classroom, my own class and a secure place within the teaching staff. At my last job as teacher at a primary school I had only taught all classes in Maths, but I had never been anyone's tutor, anyone's confidant … to know that I was going to be responsible for their future at this school, or at least partly, scared me, but also made me happy to no end … it was so exciting.

I started singing quietly and to myself, singing had always helped me show my excitement, and put the documents into my bag. I took a closer look around the room and got familiar with everything, even tried how the computer worked and found myself smiling like an idiot at pretty much everything.

This was my dream.



*



When I left the school around five pm – I had decided to stay longer and get to know my colleagues – I was pretty exhausted, but happy as well. My class consisted of about twenty seven students, boys and girls equally present, and all of them looked just as excited, but also insecure as I felt.
Since they chose Maths as their major I decided to ask them why they went for that and got way too much into listening to all of their reasons – I found myself in a lot of them. I played games with them, made them interact with each other and had a lot of fun watching them and getting to know them. There was no-one I liked more than the other – at least not yet – since they all seemed like nice children with a bright future ahead of them.

On my way home I went to a nice shop at the main station that sold amazing chocolate. Since I knew Taemin loved chocolate more than anything but never really had enough money to buy a really good one, I decided to surprise him with it tomorrow when I intended to go to Cute Cups. When I was heading back to my car I also stopped to get some dog food for his puppies as he had told me that he couldn't afford it right now, it was the end of the month, after all.

However, it was about half past eight pm when I was driving home when I got a call from Taemin. As soon as I had picked up I heard that something was wrong. He was sniffling and he sounded insecure and anxious.

“Taemin-ah?” I asked and froze while driving. “What's going on? Did something happen?”

“H-Hyung …” he sounded like a scared child and it broke my heart to hear him like that. He sniffled and I heard him breathe out in a shaky way. “C-Can you come get me, please …?”

“Yes, of course.” I answered right away and pulled over. “Where are you?”

“Hospital …” he sniffled again and added: “Hurry, please …”

“Wait inside, okay? I'll be right there.” he just said “Alright” and then hung up.
I was really getting worried now – what could have happened that he was at the hospital and that upset? My heart was hammering uncomfortably inside my chest and I drove as fast as I could, not trying to picture any kind of scenario and just intending to wait to hear what had happened from him. Once I had parked near the hospital I hurried as much as I could and practically burst into the waiting room, looking around. Eventually I found a crying and absolutely devastated looking Taemin in one of the seats at the end of the hall. I hurried over as quickly as I could and knelt down in front of him, trying to get him to look at me.
“Taemin-ah?” I asked, still trying to get his attention, but he just continued to cry. “Hey, hey … I'm here … Taemin-ah … look at me, please.” I gently grabbed his chin and tilted it upwards only lightly so that he'd look down at me. The way he looked broke my heart though. His eyes were puffy and red, his face pale and bottom lip trembling. At first he didn't even seem to recognize me, but when he did after a few moments he practically threw himself at me and wrapped his arms around me tightly – I froze a bit since we had barely touched each other since yesterday, but quickly hugged him and sat him down comfortably.

“Hyung …” he whined into my chest, his small frame shaking. His hands were on my back and gripping onto my shirt, my arms were wrapped around his torso so that he could feel save. When he just continued to call out for me I tried to shush him a bit and rubbed his back. At first it didn't seem to do anything to him at all, but after a while his sobbing and crying slowly became less and was just leaning onto me. He was still trembling and breathing shakily, but his heart wasn't racing as much as before and that calmed me more than anything.
“Are you okay now …?” I asked quietly and didn't even hesitate before kissing the top of his head. Instead of answering he only managed to nod though and I realized that I shouldn't push him to speak if he didn't do it first. So I just sat there with him for a while, holding him and rubbing his back.

What in the world had happened?

It took Taemin about half an hour to completely recover from his breakdown and to sit up and look at me properly. When I saw that his cheeks were tear stained I used my thumb to wipe the last remnants of tears away and brushed a few strands of hair out of his eyes.
“Do you want to stay over at my place tonight …?” I asked and smiled a bit at him, trying to comfort him. I was about to suggest that I drove him to his place, but he nodded right away and returned my smile a bit weakly, his eyes still glazed with tears. “Okay … come on then …” I got up, his hands never letting go of me for even a second. I helped him up and gave everyone a mean look that looked at him a bit weirdly. He didn't seem to notice though. Instead he kept his head down and just gripped onto my arm as we walked. His steps were small and a bit clumsy, he even stumbled every now and then.

Once we reached my car he sat in the passenger's seat and got a hold of my jacket again as soon as I had sat down. He didn't look at me, nor did he look at the street or anywhere in specific, instead he just stared down at his lap where his hand was playing with the fabric of his shirt. On top of that he didn't speak, so I didn't speak either. I just took his hand and used my free hand to drive.

I thought if I pressured him into telling me what happened he might break down all over again … maybe it was best for him to just calm down properly, think about what happened and then talk to me … if he wanted to talk to me.

I drove carefully and slowly and got lucky enough to get a parking space right in front of the house I lived in. I let go of his hand and got out, only to have him stay seated – he seemed to be so lost in his thoughts, he hadn't even noticed how I had gotten out. So I went around the car and held the door open. Only then it seemed to get his attention and he smiled a little again, taking my hand and letting me pull out.
My entire body seemed to hurt, seeing him like that. The way he smiled always warmed my heart, but now it seemed like he would never smile again.

“Are you hungry?” I asked when I opened the door to my small apartment. “Or thirsty? I can fix you something, if you want.” he just smiled a bit and spoke for the first time in over an hour: “No … but thanks.” his voice was small and seemed weak. “I'm okay …”

“Do you wanna talk about what happened?” I smiled a bit again and brought him to my bed since I didn't have a couch or a table, except for my desk which was completely occupied with music sheets, papers with Math formulas on them and other small stuff.
“I …” he seemed to think for a moment, his hand going up to rub the back of his neck. I sat next to him on my bed and offered him my hand, which he took within a second. For a while he was just thinking and then shook his head. “If it's okay … not now … please?”

“Sure.” I smiled a bit at him again and gave his cheek a gentle kiss. “Whenever you want.” he looked at me with a relieved smile and scooted closer. Before I knew it his head was resting on my shoulder and both his hands were holding onto mine – my heart was beating faster than ever and I felt my cheeks burning … I really loved being this close to him.
For a while neither of us said anything and I thought that was because he didn't want to speak … but it turned out that he had actually fallen asleep with his head on my shoulder.

I couldn't stop myself from laughing a bit and continuing to smile as I let go of his hands and gently laid him down, covering him with my blanket. Every now and then he made a few cute noises, but in the end he was just lying there with his face halfway buried in my pillow and body curled together like a ball. When I leaned down and kissed his cheek he let out a hum and a soft smile spread on his face.

Whatever had happened to him today … I was hoping that his dreams would comfort him enough so that nightmares wouldn't stand a chance getting to him.



________________________________________________________________________________





Oh gosh.
I hope this didn't turn out too long, too boring or whatever. I'm just trying to get the story across nicely. From now on it will probably focus on OnTae's past and present problems and traumas (if there are any aside from that JongHun thingy) and I am praying that it won't get boring.

If you liked it, please let me know, it would make my day!

Thanks for reading (if you did)!!~

p.s.: for some ed up reason cursive letters still won't work, please try not to get confused!