The heart that knows how to bow down, admit and say sorry is the heart that truly loves…

I got only a few hours’ sleep before I decided to pull myself out of my bed. I instantly looked down the front yard to check if Jae’s car was back. My heart straightaway sunk when the car wasn’t there.

When I opened my bedroom door, I found my car keys sitting on the floor. The sight of them made me tear up. I should have told him last night that I was afraid of not knowing what to do and what to expect if we’ve ever started something physical. I should have made that clear. I should have told him how I felt and maybe then he wouldn’t have walked away from me last night.

The thought that he didn’t want to see me was breaking my heart and I could only hope that he would be in Eulji today. I needed to see him. I needed to know that he was all right.

I quickly showered, dressed and drove to school. I sat through all my classes with a heavy heart and a pounding head. My nerves were killing me as I waited for my last class with Jae. When I was done with the one I was in, I rushed my way to the other building, bulldozed my way through the crowd of students and when I reached the classroom, my hopes were crushed when none of them was Jae.

I thought of skipping the rest of it to find him, but I knew I couldn’t. It was the last day before the holiday break and I couldn’t just ditch. I breathed out heavily and pulled my phone from my pocket. I immediately sent him a message.

Dara (via Text): Jae, I’m sorry.

I waited for a reply but none came. When my class was done, I was desperate and I really needed a friend so as soon as I saw Bom in a crowded hallway of Eulji, I fell into her arms in a gibbering mess.

I told her everything that happened between Jae and me and she listened without judgment. When I was finished, she looked at me and smiled.

“Everything will be fine, Dara. You know you want him.”

“Bom…it’s not just a want. I need him,” I said as I sobbed.

“Okay…you need Jae. So give him a little space and go by Club JYJ tonight. I’m sure he stayed the night there.” She spoke with authority. “Explain to him your side, tell him the truth and he’ll understand you. I’m so sure of it.”

“Okay.” I breathed out. Somehow, talking to Bom made me feel a little better. But I would be lying if I said I’m not worried at all. Now I just had to figure out what to tell him. And that was how I spent the rest of my day.

I decided to tell him everything – to come out with it all and bare my heart on the line for him. Maybe then all these miseries surrounding our ‘odd relationship’ will be saved. Everything would be fine. Everything would go back to when we were happy and Jae spent the night in my arms.

I honestly needed him in order to sleep. I knew I was depending on him too much but I couldn’t lie anymore. I could pretend to be a strong woman who can move on without him but…it would be a lie. Because there was no doubt in my mind at that point that I was unquestionably in love with Kim Jaejoong.

When I drove home, I’d been hoping against all hope that he would be there, but he wasn’t. I wasn’t supposed to work tonight and neither was he, so I decided I’d at least make myself look presentable before I went handing him my heart on a silver platter.

**

After making myself look presentable, I looked at the clock and it said 9:30 p.m. I didn’t want to be in the club early and I didn’t want it to be too busy for him to talk to me so I waited as much as I can. When I couldn’t wait any longer, I grabbed my keys and ran out to my car. I could barely keep my speed from inching over limit every few minutes so it was a relief when I finally made it to Club JYJ without getting into any accident.

When I walked at the back door, I saw Yamapi and he smiled at me. It was always a mystery to me why he loved seating at the back booth of the bar. I wanted to ask him a couple of times but stopped myself because it wasn’t really my business to know.

My heart was a violent mess of nerves as I walked through the long hallway before taking a sharp turn into the door of the ‘Gods’ that would lead me to Jae’s office on the top floor. I climbed the stairs and stood outside the door.

I thought about knocking, but I wanted to surprise him.

I set my hand against the knob and turned, pushing it open.

My heart stopped beating and my mouth fell open as revulsion swept through me. A woman – a half- woman – who I later recognized as Uee sashayed her way towards Jae who has his back from me. He obviously hadn’t heard me open the door.

“Dara?” Daniel’s voice sounded from his side of office and I jumped.

Jae turned around and he froze. I watched him pull away from the half- woman who wrapped her arms around him as though she was an item to discard and I sprinted for the stairs.

“Dara!” Jae yelled and I ran harder.

I knew he was chasing me and I refused to let him catch me. As I got to the bottom of the steps I heard Daniel shouted at Jae.

“What the are you thinking, Jae?!”

“I didn’t do anything.” I heard Jae screamed back and I knew they were fighting. “Get out of my way, Daniel.”

“She doesn’t want to talk to you right now.”

“She can’t drive like that!” Jae growled and I pushed through the door, running as fast as I could through the hall toward the back where I parked my car.

I saw Yamapi at his favorite spot, a phone pressed to his ear. His expression changed to one of purpose as he stood to block my way.

“I can’t let you go, Dara,” he said.

“Just let me out!” I screamed as sobs rocked through my body. I had never hated anyone the way I hated Jae at that moment.

“I’m sorry but I can’t.” He looked honestly apologetic, but I didn’t care.

“Let me out!”

 I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to be talked out of it. Since he won’t move away from the door, I made a quick run but he caught me around the waist.

I resisted and cried out as Yamapi held me tight.

“Let go!”

“I’ll take her,” a voice suddenly interrupted us.

Yamapi and I looked up and saw Hayami in front of us. He looked uncompromising.

“Hayami, stay out of this,” Yamapi warned.

“Normally I would but not with her thrashing like that in your arms and scaring the out of the club goers,” he replied. “One of the gods wouldn’t like that at all.”

“Jae called me and ordered me to do this,” Yamapi snapped back.

“I’m not talking about the brothers,” he replied. Yamapi released a frustrated sigh and let go of me. Hayami took my hand and opened the back door. I tried to pry my wrist from his grip but he wouldn’t let go.

“Hayami, please just let me go and I’ll leave,” I sobbed.

“I’m taking you home.”

Daniel came running out of the back door and I sighed in relief. It wasn’t Jae. That was all that mattered.

“I’ve got it from here, Hayami. Let Dara go.”

Hayami looked at Daniel. “I can take her home. You can’t leave the club anyway.”

“W-where is he?” I growled through a raw throat.

“I asked him to stay here again tonight, Dara.”

“With that woman?” I asked, disbelieving. “Is he going to finish what they’re about to do?”

Daniel shook his head sadly. He reached for me and I pulled away from him.

“Please don’t touch me,” I cried out.

At that sound, Jae appeared and I saw red.

“Dara, you need to listen to me,” he said.

“Like you listened to me last night?” I cried out, angrily. I was vibrating and my vision was so blurry I was stumbling. “I don’t care what you have to say anymore, Jae.”

I turned and ran for my car but he caught me in his arms.

“Stop it!” His tone was commanding and I cried even more.

“Let me go.”

Hayami took a step toward. “I’ll take her home.” He still insisted.

“Stay the away from her, Hayami. I warned you before,” Jae hissed.

“Jae, just let Hayami take her to our place. You don’t want her to drive on her own. Hayami is offering,” Daniel said. Then he looked at Hayami, as if they were having a silent agreement about it. Hayami’s jaw ticked but he nodded.

“This doesn’t concern you, Daniel,” Jae growled.

“I ing told you not to hurt her, Jae.” Daniel sounded dangerous and Jae stiffened.

“I’m not making the same mistakes that you did,” Jae growled angrily at his brother.

“No. You’re making new ones,” Daniel snapped back. “Just let her go home and calm down.”

I took that moment to slam my elbow into his ribs. Jae grunted but he never let me go.

“I hate you,” I cried.

“You can’t drive like this, Dara,” he roared angrily. “You’ll get yourself.”

I laughed sarcastically. “Just like my parents, you mean.”

“! Stop,” Jae roared again.

Daniel came between us, separating Jae and me. He held Jae’s arm firmly as Hayami took my hand as he ushered me to his car. He nodded at Daniel then gunned his engine away from Club JYJ.

Minutes had passed as Hayami drove me home. I didn’t bother talking to him and he didn’t say anything while driving. I distracted myself looking out the window to control myself from crying again. After some time, Hayami spoke quietly.

“You know…you could always make a choice,” he said. I looked at him and his attention was focused on the road.

“W-what do you mean?” I sobbed out.

“You could decide who you want to be with,” he replied.

“I don’t understand…I mean, I know I’m not his girlfriend but Jae is special to me,” I said in a weak voice. “You might think he picked me out of the many women in the club but you’re wrong…Jae has always been my choice.”

That was the truth.

“I don’t know how much you know about him, Dara. , I don’t even know you that well. But I can tell you’re one of the good ones out there,” he replied. “It’s not my place to tell but I’m just letting you know you have a choice.”

I frowned at him not sure what he was talking about and why he was being obscure and all. I looked around the window again and noticed that we were almost near my place.

“How…how did you know where I lived?” I asked.

“From Daniel. I know a lot of things that has been happening. I’ve always been aware,” he said.

Just then, we saw another car approaching us, his headlights streaming at the back of our car. I looked back and noticed it was Jae’s car. He was driving like a lunatic. I blew out a frustrated sigh as Hayami looked back.

He smirked. “He’s never going to give you up unless you want him to.”

As he parked the car in front of the house, I opened