It's not about what you are capable of, it's about what you are willing to endure.

“You look like the female version of the Grim Reaper, in fun size,” Bom said laughing as she entered my apartment, startling me from my slumber.

I pushed my head up off my pillow only to allow it to fall back down again.

“I’m not going, Bom. It’s too early.”

She sighed melodramatically and then jumped onto my bed, crushing me.

“Get up. Get up,” she sang. “You’ll hate me if I let you sleep through class.”

“I think I’m going to die of lack of sleep, Bom,” I moaned. “I’m still so exhausted.”

“No worries, my little grim reaper in fun size, I bought you a hot cup of coffee. Black, just the way you hated it,” she taunted. “I promise once you drink this, you’ll be up and ready. Come on, you’ll get used to this no sleep thing.”

I looked at her sleepily. “Why are you here?”

“Motivation.” She clapped her hands. “Get up or I’ll drag you out of bed by the hairs on your toes.”

“That’s disgusting!” I groaned loudly, making a point of letting her know I was irritated. “What time is it?”

“It’s time for you to take a quick shower before we have to go,” she said grinning. “I’ll make you instant oatmeal while you’re in the shower.”

“Whatever,” I said as I pulled myself out of bed, glaring as her. “I hate you right now.”

“I know,” she cooed. “But you’d hate me more if I didn’t wake you up and you’d hate yourself more if you skipped class.”

I didn’t bother replying. I went directly to my bathroom and did my morning ritual. I hated that Bom was right though. I would hate myself if I didn’t go to class today. I had never been one to skip class and I knew I’d really need to strengthen my backbone if I had any hope of maintaining my grades while having a job. It was going to be very difficult, but I believed I could do anything I set my mind to. And I’d set my mind to this.

Once I’m done, I stepped out of my bedroom and saw Bom stirring the oatmeal in the bowl. She smiled at me.

“You want bananas in it?”

“I don’t care.” I shrugged. “Put whatever you want in it.”

She rolled her eyes. “Get dressed, grouch!” She barked with humor and I scowled. Today is definitely going to be a long day again.

Bom set up 2 bowls of oatmeal on our table as she looked at me.

“You know we’re going to have to work extra hard to make the gym at least 3 times a week. Normally, I’m not one to motivate you on this because you love to exercise more than I do but I really need to work my off or I’ll end up gaining more,” she said.

The idea made me want to run to my bedroom and sleep again.

“Bom, I’ll try,” I said as I sighed and started eating my oatmeal. “I used to be the one waking you up just to go to the gym but right now, to be honest, my main priority is getting my up for my classes, staying coherent the entire time up to my shifts at Club JYJ.” I rubbed my forehead as I stared at my bowl. “Just thinking about it is making me exhausted.”

“It’s your first day, Dara,” she said as she bumped my shoulder with hers. “It’s supposed to be tough and your body isn’t used to this yet. But it will get better soon.”

“I know.” I shoved the spoon into my mouth and swallowed. “It’s the ‘getting used to it’ that’s going to be difficult, for me.”

“But you can do anything, remember?”

“Yes.”

I closed my eyes as the memory of my parents telling me that I could do anything and become anything so long as I believed and worked for it flashed in my mind. They’d always said the power of the mind was the strongest there was and I’d always believed them. They always said that I could accomplish my dreams, however, far-fetched they seemed.

But why was it so hard now? It was like every bad thing that could happen was contributing for not to happen.

“Did you do your paper for Professor Lee Soo-Man, you told me you had a killer paper due?” Bom asked. I’d been complaining about that paper for the last week to her.

“Not yet.”

“Dara, it’s due next Monday.”

“And I still have 1 more week from now,” I reminded her gently. She was more worried about my grades than I was. She didn’t want me to be left behind.

“I know, but I’ve known you for so long and you always get your papers done early,” she said as she ate, obviously thinking. “Do you need my help?”

“No.” I shook my head. “I’ll be fine, Bom. It’s not even his class I’m worried about. It’s Professor Lee Soon-Jae who has his eyes on me.”

“Really? How did you get onto his bad side?”

“I have no idea,” I said.

Bom refused to let it go. “Well, you must have done something wrong for him to notice you.”

“He thinks the time I took for my parents’ funeral as a vacation. And I quote,” I bobbed my fingers with quote sign for emphasis, “since your vacation, your grades have dropped – end quote. Apparently I’ve displayed great potential in his class and he will not accept nothing less from me. He wants to see my grades back up or else.”

Or else what?” she asked, her eyes went big.

“I don’t know…flunk me I guess,” I said as I stood, carrying my bowl to the sink.

I washed my bowl and Bom’s, my mind was preoccupied of the things that I needed to do today. My eyes then went to paper bag that Jae bought and brought here containing our noodles and rice meal. As soon as I thought of him, I remembered the things he said last night. My heart lurched and I felt more awake at that moment than when I drank Bom’s coffee.

I hurried across my small apartment window, looking at the parking lot below.

“What are you looking at?” Bom asked, coming to stand beside me. After only a moment, she gasped. “Is that Jae’s H4?”

“A what?” I asked in confusion.

“His hummer.”

I was surprised. “Uh, how sure are you that it’s his?”

“Well,” she said as she shrugged evasively. “I’ve seen it around.”

“You have?” I asked. I looked back at the monster ride. It was decked out, I was certain he spent money in making it look like that. I’d seen hummers’ in Eulji but never that kind. “I…I haven’t seen it on campus.”

“He never brings it there, as far as I know,” she said. “I’ve seen it in Club JYJ parking lot though.” Bom moved away from my window and looked at me. “What is he doing here?”

“Uh, well, he thinks he’s driving me to the university today,” I explained.

She fought a smile. “But he isn’t?”

“I told him last night I didn’t need a ride.”

“Why would that bother you?” she asked. “It’s just a ride. And I think it’s kind of cute the way he flutters around you lately. I’ve never seen him like that before.”

“Yeah, both you and CL.”

“Who’s CL?”

“A girl I work with at the club.”

She looked at me, narrowing her eyes. “Should I be jealous? Is my best friend being stolen right out from under my nose?”

I smiled. “Get over yourself. You know you and CL are like the same person. It’s scary. I never get a break.”

“You want a break? From me?” she asked disbelievingly. Her expression was one of fake puppy-eyed look and I rolled my eyes.

“Hardly.” I squeezed her cheeks. “You’re my Mama Bear. I need you around me.” I took my bag from the couch and walked to the door. “Are you ready?”

“Maybe,” she said as she smacked her hands on her hips. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on with you and Jae?” Her playful tone was gone now. She was serious.

“Bom, we’re just friends. That’s it.” I sighed. “Come on.”

Bom took her things and we went out of my apartment. I was locking it when Bom started talking again.

“You know I don’t trust him with you. He’s a definite player.”

“Do you think I’m that gullible?” I asked. “I know he’s a player. I’ve witnessed his games with my own eyes last night.”

Her eyes widened. “You have?”

“Yes,” I said as we walked down the stairs. “I watched him take a woman up to his office last night.”

“What a jerk!”

“Why?” I asked. “Isn’t that what he always does? Why does that make him a jerk?”

“Well, he’s been all over you lately and that makes him a jerk,” she spoke as though I was mentally slow which I think I was when it came to Jae. “If he wanted a chance