The first time he puked a meal was like any other day. Nothing special happened that day, he had been on break and hadn’t had to deal with the people in school.

During the school year Taehyung and Jimin had gotten much closer. They would hang out after school most of the time, walking around town and talking about the adventures Taehyung had over break. In a way Jimin looked up to him. Taehyung came from a broken home with an abusive father and a weak mother.  He was beaten by his brother nearly every day and harmed himself more often than not. In school he was known as the weird transfer student who existed only to be insulted. Yet Taehyung seemed content with his life.

“I mean there’s people who have no house and . People who starve to death,” He looked at Jimin, “and not because they want to.” He sighted, “I mean from the view of a middle class average Joe my life is Hell, but you would be surprised how much pain can make you feel okay.”

What Jimin looked up to Taehyung the most for was that didn’t hide his problems and wasn’t afraid to go around with short sleeves even when he had fresh cuts on his wrists. Jimin felt weak next to him, always hiding behind excuses to not raise suspicion.

During the spring break summer diets and bikini bodies came around. Not that it mattered, after all Jimin was always on a diet. But the more advertising and the more pressure to lose weight and be “fit” the more Jimin was pushed to his limit. He refused to look at himself anymore, whatever it was that he looked like underneath his shirt he was sure he wouldn’t be satisfied with it. Every morning he would check his weight and every time he lost a small amount of weight an overwhelming feeling of happiness and achievement surged through his body. He was beginning to understand what Taehyung meant about pain bringing happiness.

By summer vacation Jimin was skipping breakfast, claiming to not be hungry in the morning, eating a small lunch to keep him going and not get questioned by his parents, and a big dinner that he would quickly learned to get rid of moments after eating it.

It had been a while since the last time he put a finger down his throat, but the desperation to get rid of the weight of his forced dinner overtook all thoughts in his head.

After eating his typical dinner with his family Jimin excused himself to go the upstairs bathroom to clean his face and brush his teeth before going to sleep. When he was allowed to leave he ran up the stairs and into the bathroom.

Once inside the bathroom Jimin wasn’t too sure what to do. He didn’t want to be heard, so the first idea that came to his mind was turning on the faucet. That way his parents would think he was cleaning himself and they wouldn’t hear him.

He kneeled in front of the toilet and lifted the seat. Facing down to the water he closed his eyes, opened his mouth, and put his finger inside his throat. He found himself  in the same situation  as before, but with a lack of  tears running down his cheeks, Although it took a couple of tries Jimin was desperate to get that swimming suit body everyone seemed to be talking about. Several gags later a wave of force made its way up Jimin’s throat and out to the toilet.

It wasn’t pleasant, it felt as if there was a tsunami trying to force its way out of Jimin’s body. Jimin coughed and immediately closed the toilet seat, avoiding looking inside of the bowl. He flushed the toilet and made his way to the faucet. He cleaned up his face and tried to take out the horrible taste of puke out of his mouth with toothpaste.

He looked at himself in the mirror. He wondered what he was doing, why he cared so much. He didn’t know what was so important about the number on the scale but knowing that he had the power to make it go lower satisfied him.

He knew what he was doing was wrong and would eventually ruin his life. The problem was that he didn’t care. He would do whatever it took to lose weight. Even if it destroyed him.

I just updated the warnings because I completely forgot about this chapter//

I had a bit of trouble with this chapter and had written something completely different at first. I ended up deciding to focus on Jimin’s eating disorder instead of trailing off, for now.

This one is pretty short, but I think it's pretty dense.

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