Phoenix Montgomery

I moved to Boston when I was six-years-old. I remember feeling excited and a little scared before the move, and after feeling like I would really love this place after we arrived. However, the day we actually arrived in our new home is a complete mystery to me. You would think a thing such as a cross-country move would definitely be something you could remember, even at six-years-old, right? Nope, not me. Whenever I tried remembering, it seemed as though I was trying to escape quicksand. Usually I tried writing it off as me just being so exhausted or too young, but now...

I could remember.

We arrived July 14^th, 2003 sometime in the evening. I was quite small so I couldn't do much to help, so my dad left a box of my toys in the backyard to keep me entertained. Our house was about 100 feet from the ocean, with a running path about halfway between our backyard and the beach. I had just fished out a ball and was attempting to bounce it on the grass however since I was a bumbling child—and balls don't bounce well on grass—it began rolling toward the water. Of course I chased after it.

The situation seemed like it had been scripted.

My parents were inside, directing the movers with where they should put the couch, I was chasing after a ball doomed for the ocean, and there was a strange man walking down the path near my house. I was watching the ball the entire time, and I was sure it should have just kept rolling until it was floating in the water, but to my surprise it just stopped in the middle of the concrete walkway. I didn't question it though because I was just happy to have my ball back.

I triumphantly picked it up and began walking back toward the house when someone behind me asked, “Aren't you going to thank me?”

I turned and blinked up at the strange man who was walking down the path and bluntly said, “But you didn't do anything.”

He laughed, ran a ringed hand through his hair, and then knelt down in front of me, saying, “I stopped that ball for you.” I gazed into his narrow eyes and suddenly felt sure he actually did stop the ball.

“Well, in that case, thank you...” I trailed off, leaving room for his name that I didn't know yet.

He took the ball from me then and rested it between his calves. Then, he took my little hand in his big and almost too warm hands and I felt so safe and secure, but deep down I felt scared. However, it was real fear. This man was frightening and beautiful and I couldn't understand it.

“My name is Hongbin, and I have known you for a long time, and you have known me, but you can't remember it because your heart and mind won't allow the fear I bring to live inside you.” He handed the ball back to me and let go of my hand and stood up, saying, “We will meet again, in 12 years, when your heart and mind have become weak. You won't forget me then.”

…

“Phoenix? Are you okay?”

Back in the present, Hongbin was waving his hand in front of my face to get my attention, the same ringed hand that grabbed my w

rist, the same hand that held mine 12 years ago. I slowly brought my eyes up to his, and when they met I felt like someone had shocked me.

I gasped and quickly said, “I have to get to class now, bye!” before rushing past him and heading in the opposite direction that my class was actually in.

My mind was a tangled mass of confusion, denial, and fear. He looked exactly like that man from 12 years ago, and the memory was so new in my mind there was almost no denying it, but... how could that be possible? If he were 18 then, he would be 30 now and most 30-year-old people do not look like they are still 18. It just had to be a coincidence, I was sure of it. But what was that he said about meeting again and my heart and mind becoming weak? What in the hell was going on?

My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. I stopped walking and leaned against a lonely locker, causing some people to scoff or give me strange looks, but I didn't really care. I felt so helpless and lost. I definitely could not tell anyone about this for they would think I was insane. Not even Ellyn would understand or believe me. I wanted to cry, but I had to pull myself off the wall and continue on to my next class, which was Pre-calc and still two hallways away.

Mind still racing endlessly, I walked through the throngs of students with my head in the clouds. It felt like I was trying to grab air; every time I thought I had figured out an explanation it slipped through my fingers. It was just too strange that a man who somehow doesn't age would suddenly show up in my life, causing a memory of him to surface that I didn't even know existed. Everything that had happened in my life until literally today had been normal and in no way, shape, or form strange. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I was that kid who participated in clubs and sports and was rich and popular, however nothing extremely out of the ordinary had ever happened to me, yet today, on the first day of school and my 18^th birthday, stuff started going completely awry.

What the hell, universe, I thought as I entered my 2^nd hour classroom, somehow on time.

I sunk down in the nearest desk, in utter disbelief of what was going on. I just could not wrap my mind around it, so I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths and told myself, It's just a coincidence. Things like this just simply do not happen because there are no such thing as people who don't age. Feeling a little better, I opened my eyes and glanced around the room to see who my classmates were, only to be utterly disappointed. I could already tell this was going to be my least favorite class because it was full of preppy, douchebag seniors and a couple of haughty freshmen. I audibly sighed, and then placed my backpack on the seat next to me, hoping to deter anyone from sitting there. I also put on my best resting face, and prayed that no one talked to me.

Luckily for me, the bell rang and no one else but the teacher entered the room. I couldn't help but smile a little bit at my triumph. I was generally a friendly person, but I'd rather not spend an entire class next to some rich who has nothing better do than get drunk or smoke weed and talk about all the mission trips they've been on. I supposed this class wouldn't be too bad now that I was sitting on my own.

About 10 minutes into an absolutely riveting lesson regarding sins and 20 minutes into the class itself, there was a soft knock at the door. Everyone's head turned toward the door and as I was sitting at the back of the class, I basically had no choice but to look too or feel as though everybody was staring at me because I accidentally passed gas or something. One of the school guidance counselors, Ms. Holloway, entered and began by addressing our teacher.

“Good morning, Mr. Brown,” she said. “Sorry for the interruption, but there was a mix up of schedules and by the looks of it you have room for one more student.” When she said this, she looked at me and smiled. I smiled back, but on the inside I was screaming.

“It's not a problem at all,” Mr. Brown answered in his booming voice. “Tell him to come on in.”

Ms. Holloway poked her head into the hallway, so I took a moment to (begrudgingly) remove my backpack from the seat and put it on the floor between my feet. I sighed, and put my right arm up with my chin resting on my hand so that whoever sat down might get the hint that I didn't want to be conversed with. However, all of my resolve disappeared when the classroom door reopened and our new classmate walked in.

Everything melted away.

The desk I was sitting at, the other students, my teacher, it all disappeared and faded into nothingness, into complete silence and blackness. It felt as though I was in a tunnel that fit exactly around my body, but this tunnel was warm and soft, despite being completely black. I could feel my feet moving toward something, even though my brain was not telling them to move, as if I was subconsciously headed toward my unknown destiny.

I wasn't sure how long I had been moving or when the light even appeared, but suddenly I could see a small, golden orb slowly growing bigger and bigger as I neared it. For some reason I wanted to run now and I wanted to embrace this welcoming light. As I grew closer and closer, I was feeling ecstatic and satisfied and also a little desperate. How long had I been waiting for this moment? Days, months, years? My entire life? I wasn't even sure what this moment was, but what I did know was that I was meant for it.

Now I was standing directly in front of the orb, which wasn't even really an orb at all. It was a light in the shape of a body. From somewhere within, I could hear my name being repeated over and over, followed by a heartwrenching “I love you so much”. It felt so warm and happy and I just wanted to leap into its brightness. As I reached out a hand to touch the light, I was immediately torn away and back into the fluorescent lit classroom where the new student had just entered. My nostrils were blasted with smells of jasmine and sea breezes and the room crackled with electricity.

“Class, this is Taekwoon Jung. He just moved here from Korea! I hope you all will welcome him kindly.” Ms. Holloway's voice sounded a million miles away. All I could focus on was the electric warmth emanating from the person standing behind me. It was like someone put a space heater behind me and turned it on high. I could just feel waves of heat radiating from him, pulling me closer and closer...

“Hello, everyone,” Taekwoon said softly. At light speed I traveled back to where I could hear his voice clearly. It was like the most beautiful song anyone could ever hope to hear. I wanted to listen to it all day. Compared to his angelic voice, all other sounds now seemed distorted and coarse, as if his was the only one that belonged.

“Phoenix, is it alright if Taekwoon sits next to you?” It took me a moment to realize Ms. Holloway was addressing me. I was so distracted by this stranger. What was wrong with me? I hadn't even seen his face yet!

“Oh. Yeah! Sure. Of course!” I said, sounding more like a tweaker than my goal of flippant teenager. Oh my God, I thought. Everyone in this room probably thinks I'm an insane ing junkie now!

“Go on and sit down, then, Taekwoon. Phoenix won't bite!” Ms. Holloway chirped before leaving the classroom and apologizing again for interrupting. I didn't even need to turn around or hear his footsteps to know Taekwoon was moving toward me. I could just feel it, and I also felt like I was going to explode with anticipation, like this was what I had been waiting for my entire life. I was excited and nervous and also terrified. I had never, ever felt like this before and I didn't even know why I was feeling this way. I had never met this person. He was a complete and utter stranger, yet I felt like I had known him as long as I had been alive. Seriously, what was going on!?

When Taekwoon sat down next to me, I thought I was dying.

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak. I couldn't think. All I could do was sit there, frozen, with my eyes closed. His presence next to me felt unearthly. I began to wonder if anyone else in the class was feeling this way too. It was like someone started a bonfire right next to me and I was melting while everyone else was sitting back roasting marshmallows. Daring to breathe, I flared my nostrils slightly to allow the tiniest breath in, which was mistake of the century. Taekwoon's scent was the most delicious thing I had ever smelled.

I was engulfed with jasmine and the scent of a breathtaking blue sea. I had never been able to smell anyone before, unless of course they were wearing cologne or just smelled really bad. But with Taekwoon, I barely even had to breathe and I could easily take in his scent. It was gorgeous and it reminded me of places I had never even been to. A beautiful castle on a rocky outcrop overlooking the sea. A dark room with open balcony doors, allowing the moonlight in. A fireplace with a glowing hearth from the fire that just went out. Where had I seen all of this before?

Unable to resist the urge to look at Taekwoon, I took in a deep breath and turned toward him.

“Phoenix... I love you so much.”