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Lee Sungyeol

It's funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back everything is different. I can't count the time I spend observing Myungsoo. I know his eyebrows slightly furrows if he is in deep thought. I know he doesn't show his emotions but his eyes sparkle a little more and there is a thin smile on his face when he is happy. I can see every change in him. When he is angry, annoyed, sad... I can tell with one glance he worked overnight again and is  deadly tired. I always notice when he is getting sick. I know all those little details about him, I am not even sure if he is conscious of them. 

So I started to feel something is off. Ever since his son was born there was something about him... and for the first time I couldn't tell what it is. I started to worry. My own emotions were giving me a hard time lately. It was slowly becoming harder and harder for me to stay by his side. Maybe that's why I missed so many obvious signs... Oh how could I not know? Then again... it's something I was scared to even wish for so how could I possibly believe... So many regrets. So much guilt.

Logically, I know there was nothing I could do but my heart blames me anyway. I should have figure it out. If I had noticed his feelings, if I was honest with myself... none of this would happen. I wouldn't be distracted during such an important event. I wouldn't miss the attack. Would I? Maybe I would have been even more out of it. Maybe I would have looked only at him. Maybe it would have been me in the morgue. I close my eyes. It doesn't matter. It's too late now. I can't change what has already happened. And some selfish and greedy part of me whispers it may be all for the best. 

The nation has lost its queen again. Everyone is mourning the loss and the international relations are in chaos. The beloved duchess was killed. Even though it was not our fault they still blame us. When the royal family was killed years ago, the country at least still had the king. Myungsoo became the person everyone looked up to and even though everyone was sad and mourning, they believed him. He was the hope everyone needed. But now the nation doesn't even have that. There is noone who could stand up before the people and reasure them everything's going to be okay. Noone to patch up the international relations... The heir is too young. He can't even talk yet and Myungsoo.... Myungsoo is... 

I blink off the tears. I am sitting on the chair next to his bed, my heart clenching. It was not as bad as we feared. He was shot in the arm so taking everything into consideration, it was the best that could happen. They got the bullet out and patched him up so physically he should be fine. However, it's been a week and he hasn't regained consciousness yet. Nobody knows why. I take his hand into mine and weep.

"Myungsoo-yah, please. Wake up. I don't know what happened to you. Are you scared? Are you really hurt somewhere? Please, open your eyes and tell me what's wrong. I .... I don't know what to do... How to help you... Our country needs you. Everything's a mess. Nobody knows what to do. The prime minister is trying to take care of the things but there are legal loopholes... I... Nevermind that. Just get better. Huh? I can't take this anymore. I have so many questions... Do you really... Ah. It doesn't matter. I won't ask. I promise. You can tell me only what you want. Just... Please. Please, wake up. I need you."

I am blabbering whatever comes to my mind when I feel something and I freeze. Someone is my hair. I put down my head on our joined hands so I can't see but.... It feels.... Could it really be? I look up and my eyes meet his. He seems so tired. So sad. He didn't move the hand I am holding, but he my hair with the other one. When I looked up, he stopped and instead caressed the top of my head. 

"Ahhh." I breathe out and he smiles.

"Are you okay?" I ask and he nods. I wipe away my tears and try to compose myself. 

"Uh... do you... do you remember what happened?" He nods again.

"Your ... your wife... she... passed away." He nods, his eyes still very sad. I have trouble forming the sentences. 

"Shouldn't I call the doctor?" He shakes his head. There is a short silence and I don't know what to talk about...

"Your son is alright. I put the best men in charge of his protection. The investigation is ongoing but we got the main culprits. It seems like an organization against royal power. They are called "crowns" and are known for their antiroyal propaganda. We suspect they may be behind the accident that happened to your family too. The international forum is now a little difficult... You can imagine.. Hah. But because of the queen they agreed to provide help. Everyone wants to get them as soon as possible so we are working together on it and uhm... You... You are fine. I mean... Physically. Everything went well but you were uh... sleeping for a week so... Everyone was worried. I think you should make a public appearance. I mean when you feel better of course... " He continues to look at me with those eyes and I am loosing my mind.

"Why don't you say anything?" I ask with a broken voice, suddenly very afraid.

"Sungyeol-ah."

"I love you."

I start crying again. Ah. How can you be so.... 

"I love you too."

He finally smiles for real and his eyes sparkle and that's all it takes for me to completely fall apart. I love this man so much. Everything's going to be alright. Now, that he is back, he will protect our country and I will protect him. We will catch everyone who is responsible for the tragedies and we will renew our connections. Everyone will understand. And.... And me and him... the two us will have our own happy ending. 

Do you believe in love?

~ the end ~

a/n: so this story (originally planned as oneshot) turned out longer then I expected. I hope you like it even though I rushed the ending a little but I honestly planned it this way. I am starting a new myungyeol fic, now more infinite like so you can enjoy more from me here: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/898416/in-the-shadows-myungyeol-woogyu-yadong - it will be a little dark, there will be more action so stay tuned :) thank you for the support.